News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
Ah, dogs and cats. One of these is an adorable creature that will love you and be loyal to you all the days of your life, and there’s a non-zero chance that the other one is Satan. We wanted to help settle the age-old debate over which one is better, so we gathered up some direct comparisons to help you choose, should your kids want a dog. Or, for some reason, a cat.
Dogs: Will cuddle you in your sleep
Cats: Will cuddle you in your sleep. With a pillow. On your face. Until you die.
Dogs: Wait excitedly by the door when you are gone
Cats: Didn’t realize you’d left
Dogs: Were domesticated
Cats: Were just made smaller so they can’t kill you as easily as a tiger
Dogs: Love you
Cats: Are vaguely aware you exist
Dogs: Will bring you a tennis ball to play with
Cats: Will bring you—HOLY CRAP, AUTUMN, IS THAT A PIGEON?!
Dogs: Can sniff out bombs
Cats: Are all members of ISIS
Dogs: Can learn tricks
Cats: Will tear up your furniture no matter how many times you spray them in the face with a water bottle
Dogs: Sometimes pee when excited
Cats: Pee out of pure spite, on everything precious to you
Dogs: Excited when you wake up every morning
Cats: Always seem a little disappointed that you lived through the night
Dogs: Demand your full attention and time for like 15 years
Cats: You’re always only about 87% sure that you actually own a cat. I know he’s around here somewhere…
Dogs: Are just happy and grateful that you let them hang around you
Cats: Believe you should just be happy and grateful that they let you hang around them
Go here to read the rest.
Lame. Humor riffs off everyday life, and this does not.
Cat lovers are notably devoid of a sense of humor Art.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbycvPwr1Wg
Cat lovers are notably devoid of a sense of humor Art.
Au contraire. Our cats are great sources of amusement.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz9Qh8DxCYc
Cats: You’re always only about 87% sure that you actually own a cat. I know he’s around here somewhere…
This one is probably the best line. It works for our Nurse Cat, he’s selective in his company.
Also, the idiot blonde cat would like to object, she doesn’t sleep on anyone’s face. She waits until her child is asleep, then squirms in under the blankets to sleep under her chin, like a stuffed animal….
The old man would object, but he’s confused what the ugly squeeky-cats have to do with anything and is too busy caging cuddles or treats, anyways. (Has mostly met either Chihuahuas or toy breeds. Three to five times the size of those….)
Teri-cat of the Cranky Expression is annoyed with Autumn for confusing a marmot with a pigeon, and will now leave a mouse in your book bag.
We’re dog people. Nothing against cats, except they never accepted me. We had two but no more – our old dog wouldn’t do well.
We kept our cays in house. But, with young kids I was always looking around to see if they were still indoors. Usually after searching the entire house, the one would be snuggled under the covers of one of the kids beds. If PETA knew how low I kept the thermostat, they’d shoot me.
The one thing cats have going for them is they are clean animals. Our cat used to dig a hole and do her business and bury it. Didn’t bother with kitty litter. And no need to pick up poop. Cats also clean themselves, hence why you don’t have to bath them. They are pretty low maintenance pets. Ours would kill a rodent and pop it on the front door mat to show us she was protecting the home. They can however be indiscriminate and kill native wildlife on rare occasion. If you raise a kitten and puppy together it’s more likely they will get along. Growing up, our ginger and German Shepherd never had a disagreement. And she was there before the German Shepherd. Mind you, she had a good temperament.