Two AM outside the Palace of Sixtus V: A cold rain is falling and a thick fog obscures vision.
Pope Francis: Did anyone else hear a boom?
A glittering Captain of the Swiss Guard approaches: All clear your Holiness.
Pope Francis: What was it?
Captain: A glitter bomb your Holiness.
Pope Francis: A glitter bomb?
Captain: It is a device used by Americans, pardon Norte Americanos, to help forestall people from stealing packages off their porches.
Pope Francis: Gringos are loco! Anyone hurt?
Captain: No Holiness, but I and some of my men will be picking glitter out of our hair for the next few days.
Pope Francis: Anything else?
Captain: A banner popped out from the bomb on which was written: Merry Christmas Francis. Deo vindice.
Pope Francis: The Yanquis are gaslighting me!
Captain: Pardon Holiness, but I believe Deo vindice was the motto of the Confederacy.
Pope Francis: The Confederacy? I am living in a mal dream!
(Female laughter heard in the distance.)
Captain: Time to get you back inside Holiness.
And with that PopeWatch is on Christmas hiatus until January 3, 2022. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Gee, I hope none of that glitter fell upon the sacred Pachamama idol?