Tuesday, March 19, AD 2024 3:31am

PopeWatch: Excommunication

Saint Peters at midnight.  Pope Francis and a group of cardinals are gathering.

Pope:  Thank you my brothers for gathering at this late hour.  We have a serious matter to deal with.

Cardinal:  We have heard you are planning to excommunicate a bishop?

Pope: Si, I have been reluctant to do so, but a Gringo Bishop in Tejas has been guilty of an unforgivable sin.

Another Cardinal:  Boys, women, embezzlement?

Pope:  Far, far worse than that.  Now if you would each pick up a long candle and light it while we dim the lights.  It would help if you would all chant in Latin.

Third Cardinal:  My Latin has gotten rusty over the past fifty years. (Other Cardinals nod.)

American Cardinal:  Perhaps we could chant:  Satan, Satan, go away.  Come again some other day?

Pope:  Thinking.  (Gringos really are idiotas.)

Pope:  Brothers just follow along to this recording.

Argentinian pop music begins to blare out.

American Cardinal:  It has a nice beat.

Pope smacks his forehead.

Pope:  Forget about the chanting.  Hold up your candle while I read this:

Bishop S______ is a bishop of the Holy Catholic Church.  He has made many converts to the Church.  (Cardinals gasp.)  This is the sin of proselytism, a truly unforgivable sin. As Bishop S____ has rendered no act of contrition or repentance, and is at the moment, at liberty in his diocese, we do, here and now, separate him from the precious body and blood of Christ, and from the society of all Christians. We exclude him from our Holy Mother Church and all her sacraments, in heaven, or on Earth. We declare him excommunicate and anathema. We cast him into the outer darkness. We judge him damned with the devil and his fallen angels and all the reprobate, to eternal fire and everlasting pain!
[slams candle to the ground]

Cardinals hesitate and then slam their candles to the ground.

American Cardinal:  Will there be a snack now?

 

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David WS
David WS
Saturday, December 4, AD 2021 7:33am

Meanwhile.. Pope Francis issued a statement saying Justice Sotomayor, like Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi, is also a “good catholic”.

Elaine Biggerstaff
Elaine Biggerstaff
Saturday, December 4, AD 2021 8:58am

The only unforgiveable “sin” the fake pope believes is a sin is that of believing in the one, true triune God.

Don l
Don l
Saturday, December 4, AD 2021 10:57am

Excellent post–says it all!

Frank
Frank
Saturday, December 4, AD 2021 11:47am

Assuming the English translation broadcast by EWTN is accurate, this morning I actually heard this talking kidney stone, a/k/a Francis, say that St. Paul’s “style was not one of proselytization, but of the meekness of Jesus.” Think on that one, folks. St. Paul, Apostle to the Gentiles, who spent the remainder of his life after conversion traveling around the Mediterranean world converting people to Christ, did not, says this pope, proselytize. Even my Protestant friends shake their heads when they hear the things this man says. It’s not because of the usual anti-Catholic tropes, either. They ask me in all seriousness if he is even a Christian.

David WS
David WS
Sunday, December 5, AD 2021 9:20am
Frank
Frank
Sunday, December 5, AD 2021 12:57pm

DavidWS, it gets harder every day to escape that conclusion. PF seems to be, at least, a material heretic. Since I do not know his heart and mind, I cannot say whether or not he is a formal heretic.
I pray for his soul every day, but I do wish he would shut up.

David WS
David WS
Sunday, December 5, AD 2021 5:50pm

Frank, PF seems a completely fuzzy thinker who has a strong aversion to formal reasoning, because in his mind that would be “rigid”.
If that’s accurate there’s no way he could be a formal heretic, because nothing’s formal.

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