PopeWatch: Papal Tweetstorm

Father Supercilium, head of the Vatican Twitter Department, was not having a good day.

Father Supercillium:  Yes, your eminence I recognize that the tweets over last weekend were quite numerous.  (Pause)  I agree that they were cut and past from the Pope’s speech to the Popular Groups, and no he did not run them by me.  (Sighs) Usually all tweets for the Pope are first given to me but if the Pope decides otherwise he is of course free to do otherwise.  (Pause)  With respect eminence I do believe that I am doing my job.  (Click)

Father Supercillium held his head in his hands and thought:  (The twentieth call from a Cardinal this week.  Who knew they paid any attention to Twitter.  But of course they have staffers who do.)  Taking a small bottle of Chianti from a bottom desk drawer he uncorks it and takes a swig.

Thinking:  (I had a good thing going.  Almost no work and Sister Calamus to do the writing.  A sweet young thing and naive like most Americans.  She is an excellent writer.  She wrote the tweets, I got praised and the Pope was as happy as a man with his evil temper can be.)

Another swig and then more thinking:  (Now the Pope is suddenly making his own Left wing posts, some of the Cardinals are upset and I am being accused of not doing my job.  At least when I gave him the tweets composed by Sister Calamus he accepted them this week.  The first time he did so, he smiled, always a bad sign with this Pope, and told me to tell Sister Calamus that she did a good job, and that two could play games.  Sister claimed that she had no idea what he is talking about.  The old grouch is getting even more paranoid.)

The phone then began ringing and Father Supercillium looked at it with resigned annoyance and trepidation.