PopeWatch: From the Pen of Sister Calamus

Dear Diary,

Things keep going from bad to worse.  Being the twitter ghost writer for the Holy Father is tough, really and truly tough!

Earlier this week I received this note:  “Sister, tell those moronic gringos who waste their time reading the tweets that you scribble for me to stop attacking me!  Judases!  They are all out to get me!  The world would be so much better with fewer of you gringos.  And you young gringo  dolts  living on the internet are the worst!  Basta!  PF.”

I cried for a solid hour after receiving this nasty gram Diary!  How I long for the simple joys of working on the compost heap at the convent back in Nashville!  Well my parents didn’t raise a quitter.

I passed it along to Father Supercilium.  He e-mailed me back that I could tweet it since the Pope had said, The stupid gringa can’t follow my simple instructions.  Tell her to post it.  What does it matter.  What harm can they do to me living in the basements of their madres?

I cried for a solid two hours Diary after I read this.  I think I will start sending secret information to PopeWatch at The American Catholic.  But I have heard that he is an attorney and my mama told me never to trust an attorney, after that shyster of a patent attorney destroyed her design for a perpetual motion machine!  I know, I will use an alter ego in my communications to protect my identity!  Sister Deep Throat?  No, definitely not that, and now I have something more to Confess.  I will think of something.  The Pope will rue the day he crossed this Tennessee volunteer!