Friday, March 29, AD 2024 8:38am

A Natural Fit

I wonder you should ask me whether it is essential to keep the patient in ignorance of your own existence. that question, at least for the present phase of the struggle, has been answered for us by the high Command. Our policy, for the moment, is to conceal ourselves. Of course this has not always been so. We are really faced with a cruel dilemma. When the humans disbelieve in our existence we lose all the pleasing results of direct terrorism and we make no magicians. On the other hand, when they believe in us, we cannot make them materialists and sceptics. at least, not yet. I have great hopes that we shall learn in due time how to emotionalise and mythologise their science to such an extent that what is, in effect, a belief in us, (though not under that name) will creep in while the human mind remains closed to belief in the enemy. The “life force”, the worship of sex, and some aspects of Psychoanalysis, may here prove useful. If once we can produce our perfect work — the Materialist Magician, the man, not using, but veritably worshipping, what he vaguely calls “forces” while denying the existence of “spirits” — then the end of the war will be in sight.

CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

 

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

CAMBRIDGE, MA—With the beginning of a new semester at Harvard University underway, school officials found they had yet to fill the vacant role of head chaplain to lead its campus chaplains. Fortunately, they were able to find the most qualified choice to fill this role, Satan.

“We can’t believe how privileged we are to have Satan himself step into this role of spiritual leadership on our campus,” stated 20-year-old liberal arts major Kip Gooberfitz. “We really identify with his straightforward ideas and teachings about God, specifically the ones where he states we should hate him or not believe in him at all. It’s truly inspiring.”

While some on campus were skeptical with the placement of the father of lies in this role, Satan quickly responded to those concerns.

“Look, I’m only here to help guide these young and impressionable minds down a wide path to success and self-gratification,” said Satan while slyly stroking his chin. “If I can only guide most of these young people to a bright and burning eternal place of torment with me, then I will see this opportunity as a huge success.”

When asked if he would change much of how things were taught previously on campus, Satan cackled and shook his head.

“The professors here have already done a beautiful job of laying out the finer points of my teachings. There is so much hate and strife being sown here that my job will be a devil’s food cake-walk.”

Go here to read the rest.

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Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus
Sunday, August 29, AD 2021 6:21am

Since when did the Babylon Bee start reporting straight news instead of just satire? 😉

TomD
TomD
Sunday, August 29, AD 2021 9:21am

Kip Gooberfitz?
That sounds like a really White name:

Philip Nachazel
Philip Nachazel
Sunday, August 29, AD 2021 10:31am

Undisclosed sources leaked information about the short list prior to selecting Satan. One observer noted that Cardinal Cupich was on the top of the list. Transcripts indicate the exchange with the Harvard selection committee;

Cardinal Cupich- ” I’m honored to be asked to lead this prestigious Institution in all things theological.
I must decline the offer, however my mentor would be a suitable candidate. I hope you consider Satan as the next overseer of chaplains for your university.
Attached are some references for your considerations. Together we have ushered in a new tranquility for our times.

Art Deco
Art Deco
Sunday, August 29, AD 2021 5:30pm

OT, did you catch this:

https://twitter.com/reginahicksreal/status/1431993932527947776/photo/1

I’m sorry they blacked out the name of the source of this correspondence. I’d love it if one of these bureaucratic microbes were forced into a deposition.

Bob Kurland, Ph.D.
Admin
Monday, August 30, AD 2021 4:07am

Don, I’ve called Chase customer service and told them I’m cancelling (sp?) all automatic payments (including Amazon) and won’t be using the Chase Amazon Visa card anymore. It’ll cost them more to keep the card with no use than to cancel it.

Art Deco
Art Deco
Monday, August 30, AD 2021 5:04am

I need to get to work on this in my own household.

What interests me is the ultimate source of this insistence that the bank eject a customer for no reason. (The ‘reputational risk’ nonsense assumes he has a bad reputation, assumes he recently acquired a bad reputation, assumes anyone who thinks ill of him would give a rip who his credit provider is, and assumes that anyone in the general public other than his wife knows he has a Chase card). If federal regulators are threatening financial institutions, that’s a crime (which, of course, will never be prosecuted).

Another tidbit which gives one the sense that American corporations are run by idiots is that some of these credit providers and payment processers actually rely on hit lists compiled by the $PLC. The $PLC was exposed by local papers in Montgomery, Alabama as a skeevy direct mail mill in 1995. Five years later, Harper’s Magazine also did a piece amplifying the case. It’s dead easy to figure out that the place is grifter central.

Donald Link
Monday, August 30, AD 2021 2:20pm

The Puritans who founded Harvard must be spinning in their graves.

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