News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a historic press conference, Trump confirmed to the world that extraterrestrials exist and that they are in contact with the U.S. Government. Unfortunately, they won’t reveal themselves until humanity has evolved to the point where they will re-elect Trump as President of the United States.
“I know the aliens, talked with the aliens, negotiated with them, and they are big fans of me,” said Trump to stunned reporters. “The aliens have always been nice to me and I appreciate that. Some are bad, but most are fine people. They told me the world isn’t ready to meet them since America didn’t re-elect me– well, technically I was re-elected but Sleepy Joe cheated. Aliens don’t like cheaters, believe me!”
Experts agree that since the masses were too dumb to ensure a Trump victory, mankind is likely not advanced enough to make first contact with the alien species.
According to Trump, the advanced alien race is waiting in an interdimensional rift in space just above Earth’s atmosphere, waiting for America to come to its senses.
Go here to read the rest. The Trump Organization will now be the official trade representatives on earth. The T-shirt with the inscription I came all the way from Arcturus and all I got was klaatu barada nikto looks made for a Christmas present.
Aliens are going to avoid this planet like the plague. And we have one – COVID-19. But that isn’t the deadly plague. Violence and bloodthirstiness are. Aliens will stay far away from us violent, bloodthirsty apes. We kill anything that stands in our way, including each other.