Thursday, March 28, AD 2024 4:14pm

Hollyweird Hearts Cuomo

 

News that I missed, courtesy of The Babylon Bee:

NEW YORK CITY, NY—The 2020 International Emmy Awards have announced their nominees for their hotly anticipated and highly credible award ceremony this year. In addition to giving New York Governor Andrew Cuomo a leadership award for his excellent pandemic leadership and skill in not killing thousands of innocent nursing home residents, the organization has also announced another recipient: Joseph Stalin.

According to sources, Stalin will receive a posthumous award for his outstanding hunger relief efforts. In addition, he will be honored for his masterful skill in crafting a narrative that caused even the imprisoned victims of his regime to sing his praises.

“We can’t exactly say that Stalin’s hunger relief efforts were totally successful, but he really did try,” said International Academy President & CEO, Bruce L. Paisner. “Stalin was a master at crafting a narrative. People tuned in to hear his words of wisdom, even as he starved them to death. That’s a skill worthy of honor.” 

Stalin will not be the only world leader honored at the 2020 Emmys. Here is a comprehensive list of the other nominees:

  • Mikhail Gorbachev—for outstanding leadership of Chernobyl cleanup
  • Kim Jong Un—for groundbreaking human rights activism
  • Hugo Chavez—for innovations in decreasing population of feral cats
  • Scar the Lion—for bringing together lion and hyena in the Pride Lands
  • Greta Thunberg—for outstanding performance by a child actor
  • Gavin Newsom—for electricity management and sidewalk cleanliness in California
  • Joel Osteen—for scriptural accuracy
  • Joseph Biden—for being most “clean and articulate” president since Obama
  • Kamala Harris—for award-winning laugh
  • Lord Denethor—for outstanding stewardship of Gondor
  • Kathleen Kennedy—for excellent management of Star Wars franchise
  • King Solomon—for chastity
  • McDonald’s—for excellence in ice cream machine maintenance
  • The International Emmys—for most legitimate award organization

Go here to read the rest.  When Cuomo gets his Emmy for the “documentary” on his Covid-19 leadership, he should really thank his able assistant the Grim Reaper without whose vigorous activity, under Cuomo’s direction, his Emmy would not have been possible.

 

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Pinky
Pinky
Sunday, November 22, AD 2020 12:03pm

It’s pretty common to say that you can’t tell if a story is parody or not, but this Cuomo thing, man. We’re not always right, but they hate us, and they hate the truth, so we’re probably not too far off the mark.

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