To all pirates I have but one thing to say: amateurs.
Donald R. McClarey, Lawyer
Aye Maties, something for ye weekend of Speak Like a Pirate Day! When Ye Are a Professional Pirate sung by Cap’n Curry.
Pirate Preamble to the Constitution
We th’ Scallywags o’ th’ United States, in Order t’ form a more perfect Crew, establish the Articles of Our Cruise, insure Peace, provide fer th’ Watch for th’ Fleet, promote th’ general Good, ‘n secure th’ Blessin’s o’ Liberty Port t’ ourselves ‘n our young ‘uns forever, do haul up ‘n start this Constitution fer th’ United States o’ America.Ahoy!
Pirate Gettysburg Address
Ar, it be about four score and seven years ago since our fathers made ye new nation, a liberty port for all hands from end to end, and dedicated t’ t’ truth that all swabs be created equal.
Now we be fightin’ a great ruckus, testin’ whether ye nation, or any nation so minted like it, can last through the long watch. We be met on a great boardin’ fight o’ that war. We have come t’ dedicate a spot o’ that field, as a final restin’ place for those who here swallowed the anchor forever that that nation might live. It be altogether fittin’ and proper that we be doin’ this.
But, truth be told, we can not set aside, we can not pray over, we can not hallow this ground. T’ brave swabs, livin’ and went t’ Davy Jones’ locker, who fit here, have blessed it, far over our poor power t’ add or swipe back. T’ world won’t writ what we say here, but it can never forget what those swabs did here. It be for us t’ livin’, rather, t’ be dedicated here t’ finishin’ t’ work which they who fit here have begun. It be rather for us t’ be here dedicated t’ t’ great chore remainin’ before us—that from these honored swabs we take increased love t’ what they died for—that we here Bible swear that these shipmates shall not have went t’ Davy Jones’ locker for nothin’—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth o’ freedom—and that government o’ t’ crew, by t’ crew, for t’ crew, shall not perish from t’ seven seas.
Pirate Pledge of Allegiance
I Bible swear meself to the colors of the United States of America, and to the Liberty Port for which it stands, one Crew indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Not knowing of this day, my wife and I watched The Princess and the Pirate (1944) with Bob Hope and Virginia Mayo. Walter Brennan had a great role as a pirate tattoo artist. The pirate captain “The Hook” had some great lines about what he was going to do to people, especially by use of his hook hand. “Outta my way: I’ll slit his gizzard!