zoophilia

Zoophilia: Why Not?

I was told by intolerant homophobes that this might happen one day, and it looks like that day is getting a little bit closer. I am talking, of course, of the glorious and triumphant day that zoophilia (sexual attraction to animals) becomes a legally-protected category and bestiality (sexual intercourse with animals) becomes a socially acceptable activity that only outdated, reactionary, hateful oppressors will dare oppose.

The first thing to remember, of course, is that while we must consider this to be a manifestation of social progress and enlightenment, that is, part of a movement that is clearly moving in one direction, we must avoid the “insane” slippery slope logical fallacy that those illogical religious fanatics keep bringing up. Slopes go down. Down is bad. We are climbing a mountain to new and lofty heights of freedom. Up is good.

Next, the only issue upon which there could possibly be any legitimate debate is whether or not the animals can consent. If the animals cannot consent, then bestiality may be considered a form of animal abuse, in which a deranged pervert takes advantage of a helpless animal to gratify his sexual urges. If the animals can somehow consent, and of course zoophiles believe that they can and do, well then, as long as as it is an adult animal, there’s no problem. Anyone who would object to such a union is a heartless, judgmental a-hole who wants to interfere with a perfectly legitimate expression of love. There is no natural order. There are no abominations. The subjective choices of individuals, as long as they cause no immediate, direct, physical harm to another person (or let’s say, living being) or violate their government-determined privileges must be regarded as sarcosanct. “And it harm none, do as thou wilt.” That is what our entire civilization is built on.

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