Didn’t You Always Suspect This?

Thursday, April 17, AD 2014

 

Bad News

From the only reliable source of news on the net, The Onion:

 

WASHINGTON—Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back and enjoy themselves while the United States collapses of its own accord.

Multiple intelligence agencies confirmed that the militant Islamist organization and its numerous affiliates intend to carry out a massive, coordinated plan to stand aside and watch America’s increasingly rapid decline, with terrorist operatives across the globe reportedly mobilizing to take it easy, relax, and savor the spectacle as it unfolds.

“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.”

“And unfortunately, based on information we have from intelligence assets on the ground, this plot is already well under way,” he added.

A recently declassified CIA report confirmed that all known al-Qaeda-affiliated organizations—from Pakistan to Yemen, and from Somalia to Algeria—have been instructed to kick back and enjoy the show as the United States’ federal government, energy grid, and industrial sector are rendered impotent by internal dissent, decay, and mismanagement. According to statements made by top-level informants and corroborated by leading Western terrorism experts, if seen through to its conclusion, al-Qaeda’s current plot could wreak far more damage than the events of 9/11.

In the past year, money transfers to al-Qaeda cells around the world have reportedly been accompanied by instructions to use the funds to outfit safe houses with the proper equipment to receive American cable news broadcasts and view top U.S. news websites, allowing terrorists to fully relish each detail of the impending demise of the last global superpower

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Facebook and the Ending of the Concept of Personal Privacy

Wednesday, May 2, AD 2012

From the only reliable source of news on the net, the Onion.  A few years ago I began noticing a new category of evidence emerging:  Facebook evidence.  People involved in child custody disputes were using the Facebook pages of their adversaries to point out misbehaviors such as drunkness, constant use of profanity, threats to kill, etc.  From my perch of 30 years at the bar, I view this development with bemusement.  When I was young,  people were no more virtuous than they are now, but they usually had more sense than to blast out to the world that they were drunks, hedonists, verbally challenged except when using the F-Bomb, or to have photos of themselves published to the world in, and how truly Victorian the phrase seems now, compromising positions.  Most people understood that their personal lives were personal, and not to be broadcast to the planet at large.  Now, it seems as if exhibitionism is the order of the day, and Facebook and other social media exist to trumpet every portion of one’s life, especially the tawdry aspects.  Time for me to enlist two shades from the next world to provide commentary.  First, the famous phrase that Cicero used in his second oration against Verres:  O Tempora, O Mores!  Second, the late Ray Walston:

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9/11 Conspiracy Theories Debunked

Saturday, September 10, AD 2011

Tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of 9/11.   To head off any “Truthers”, a truly despicable and delusional movement that contends that 9/11 was an “inside job” perpetrated by nefarious, and apparently omnipotent forces in our government, who could arrange for terrorists to hijack four airliners and launch their attacks at the same time that the real dirty work was carried out by government agents, and keep this conspiracy hidden from view for a decade, except from the paladins of the “Truther” Movement who are able see beyond mere facts and evidence to the evil conspiracies within, I would suggest viewing of a series of videos on You Tube that patiently debunk 9/11 conspiracy theories one at a time.  The above video is one of them.  Go here to watch others in the series.

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The CIA and Facebook

Tuesday, March 22, AD 2011

From the only reliable source of news on the net, the Onion.   Hmmm, so I guess that Facebook could potentially do more harm to people than merely being a venue where future employers can see drunken photos of job applicants. I don’t know, this seems a bit too clever for the CIA.  On the other hand, if someone wanted to claim that Facebook was started by the Internal Revenue Service, I would readily agree.

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