Avoid the Doghouse

Saturday, December 22, AD 2012

We run this each year during Advent as an act of Christian charity for our male  readers.  Of course some women do like practical gifts.  For example, Mrs. Claus is giving my bride, at her request, a steam mop for Christmas.  My bride is special though.  She has put up with me for 30 years as of December 18th of this year, and she has blessed me with so many gifts in those three decades:  endless good humor, infinite patience, three priceless kids, support in my defeats, cheering in my victories, the type of love we all long for.  A pearl of great price is my bride, a woman of rare sagacity and intelligence.  Additionally she is a woman who reads this blog several times a day.  Hi Dear!  (Don waves!)  Below is the sequel to the Doghouse video above:

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14 Responses to Avoid the Doghouse

  • MERRY CHRISTMAS, DONALD MC CLAREY, TO YOU AND YOURS. I have to admit that I suspected that your “bride” was behind all your posting, impeccably free of errors. Truly a marriage made in heaven, Happy Anniversary Dec. 18. GOD BLESS.

  • Additionally she is a woman who reads this blog several times a day.

    *grin*

    My husband’s big gift for me… is a computer that he’s building with my needs in mind.

    Ah, geek-made gifts!

  • Never let a day end without a hug being thankful that you still have each other. I could not help being reminded of the 63 years and over 58 years of marriage my wife and I had together. Christmas especially reminds me of her.

  • Congratulations on your masterpiece, anniversary. What beauty God can create when His children place their needs last, and their loved ones first.

    I can’t wait to share the above clips with my wife Mary. I know she will enjoy them as much as I have. Very funny material.
    Our twelfth was celebrated last May 1st, Feast of St. Joseph the worker

  • I am pretty dense. I spent about two weeks of the past 34 years not in the dog house.

    I learned that “baubbles” are the way to go for gifts. Not economical, but fast and easy.

    We can learn from the lying, vile liberals.

    Now, whenever the wife burns the roast, etc. it will be, “Honey, the oven ruined supper.” Not, “You burned the roast, again.”

  • These are great. Thanks! I wonder if it is time for a variation on the theme – The Cathouse! All above board of course.

    Oops, I’m falling, aaaah.

    I’m in the doghouse.

  • Pingback: Nothing Says Christmas Like a Hammer Dulcimer | Big Pulpit
  • Just as the habit of merchants to go squishy with “Happy Holidays” in order to dodge any possibility of giving offense will eventually undermine the whole gift-buying drill that makes The Season Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken so profitable to them, the J.C. Penney (JCP) ads do their bit to undermine marriage. Pray tell, why should a man wish to be hitched to any of those spiteful shrews?

    Similarly horrible are the ads with this tag line:

    “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”

    Not a very high opinion of females you have there, Ms. Kay-Jewelry.

    Finally, where are all those JPII “new feminists”? They should be holding public Burn Your JCP Charge Card and Kiss Kay Goodbye rallies and picketing the stores. But they aren’t. They’re silent in solidarity with the more ordinary Gloria Allred sort of No Matter What We Always Side With The Female feminists. Hmm.

    The War On Men continues.

  • …Why exactly should “New Feminists” be acting exactly like the old ones, but in your preferred direction? Those good Catholic ladies I know are busy actually doing stuff, rather than throwing a fit every time someone says something foolish or you detect some dark undertone to advertising jingles.

    But by all means, follow in the footsteps of feminism by hijacking a sweet, joking post about putting care into your choice of gifts and understanding the expectations of your other half in order to issue a blanket accusation of Catholic “new feminists” siding with baby-killers.

    Perhaps it’s not a war on men, it’s just “war on guys who make wild accusations and constantly complain on the least hint of an opening and generally act exactly like the humorless feminists.”

  • Let’s see, what did I get for Christmas? Two cheap pastry brushes, a teddy bear (with Coke can), and a Dave Barry book that has me laughing so hard tears were strolling down my cheeks. The only jewelry I got was from my parish “secret santa” and I must confess, the earring/necklace set isn’t quite my style.

    My son (who just finished building a 1300 plus Lego kit and who has a girlfriend) wants to know why that one man’s wife didn’t like the vaccuum cleaner. My son made a point that in every vaccuum commercial, there is always a woman who is using it. Maybe that fellow saw the same commercials and thought that women like vaccuum cleaners.

    On the other hand, my son bought her a ring, not a vaccuum, for Christmas. She got him a Transformer.

  • “On the other hand, my son bought her a ring, not a vaccuum, for Christmas. She got him a Transformer.”

    Wise son DJ!

  • *laughs* My dear husband got me a lovely new computer, and installed everything!

    I got him a calender of the art of the star wars comics and a bottle-opener ring– both of which had him laughing so hard he almost fell off the couch.

  • (Don’s wife Cathy here) We got our autistic son that same Star Wars comics art calendar for Christmas, Foxfier! His brother & sister each got a new printer for their computers, Don got some flannel shirts, history books & computer games, and I got the steam mop Don mentioned earlier, as well as several SF/fantasy novels & a “Law & Order UK” Season 2 DVD boxed set.
    Our daughter also received a pre-owned iPod for Christmas; unfortunately, however, it was DOA when she tried to charge & sync it – so we’ll try to exchange it at the local GameStop tomorrow morning.

A Word to the Wise

Friday, December 9, AD 2011

Each year I run the above video as an act of Christian charity for our male readers.  My bride and I on December 18th will be celebrating our 29th anniversary, so I assume that I must have some expertise in staying out of the marital doghouse.  (Or perhaps I am married to a saint who will go straight to Heaven after putting up with me?)  At any rate, one thing I do know is that once you get out of the doghouse, do not go right back in!

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14 Responses to A Word to the Wise

  • The evil, white European traders brought the Noble Native Americans glass beads, iron hatchet heads, and small-pox.

    I learned the bauble lesson years ago.

    This year, everyone else is getting ammunition. It makes a great stocking stuffer!

  • Reminds me of the first gift I got for my ex-wife, back when we were still dating. Apparently a kitchen timer is not acceptable even if she happened to mention she wants one.

  • My strategy has always been to balance out practical gifts with frivolous ones. Fortunately my bride likes books and games as much as I do! She has never been much for jewelry for which I have been duly thankful for over the years.

  • Don it is my position that the “Wise” do not need more wisdom (word) but us foolish ones do. Unfortunately being foolish, we do not heed the word, so you end up casting pearls before swine. It is a vicious cycle that never ends. I wound tent to think your wife is the saint of the family since you are “a law talking guy”. Jking 😉

  • I would tend to agree with you Catholic Lawyer, especially since I have the traditional Irish temper that is quick to be roused and quick to grow cool. I have always found the phrase “I’m sorry!” to be useful in my marriage!

  • I incessantly, silently repeat, “Forgive all injuries.”

  • My wife likes to mow the lawns.
    One year I bought her a new lawnmower – half the town heard about it within days.
    I got scowls from the women, and slaps on the back from the blokes.
    She still uses it – but so does she use the new car I bought her the following year 🙂

    Expensive make-up, eh?

  • Sorry for my poor spelling at the end – my bad.

  • So, is this a gift to the readers, then? *grin*

    What some folks don’t realize when they hear “It’s the thought that counts” is that you have to think about the other person’s response, not that the act of offering something is what counts…. *laughs* I’d actually LIKE computer RAM for Christmas. Or those silly little window-crystals for crafting, even though cheap stuff is supposed to be another no-no. (Thing is, he’ll never top the second Christmas gift he gave me– he proposed. Talk about a get-out-of-the-dog-house card.)

    A hint for people who don’t really want anything but want to help folks: pick some sort of inexpensive, silly thing to mention. I ask for silly, ugly, fluffy or strange socks; my mom use to collect bells, grandma had an amazing teaspoon collection, one grandmother-in-law collects frogs and the other collects orchids.

  • Of course, it helps immensely to know the Rules.

    1. The female always makes the rules
    2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
    3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
    4. If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
    5. The female is never wrong.
    6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
    7. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
    8. The female may change her mind at any time.
    9. The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
    10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
    11. The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
    12. The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
    13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.
    14. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
    15. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
    16. The female is ready when she is ready.
    17. The male must be ready at all times.
    18. The male who doesn’t abide by the rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

  • T. Shaw
    re: #14
    watch your six, dude

  • Praise the Lord!

    The Warden doesn’t surf the net. I’m safe.

  • Meanwhile, I see the boob toob is urging females to gift their men tools so they can repair or remodel her house, presumably to her specifications.

    A nice cradle Catholic wrote the book If Men Have All the Power How Come Women Make the Rules? He ought to be an invited speaker at every Catholic men’s and women’s conference.

  • A nice cradle Catholic wrote the book If Men Have All the Power How Come Women Make the Rules? He ought to be an invited speaker at every Catholic men’s and women’s conference.

    Guessing he didn’t use the short, simple and obvious but rude answer re: supply and demand, since you specifically call him nice….

    If we’re going to drag reality into it, we’re going to get really depressing, really fast.