Satire

Star Trek TNG: To Blog Where No One Has Blogged Before

(originally posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

…alternatively titled “You Really Wanna Know What I Think Of Patheos?”

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Call-to-Action: “Apparition Of Martin Luther Worthy Of Belief”

(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

(AoftheAP) Attendees at the Call-to-Action National Conference, held earlier this month in Milwaukee, were treated to a special announcement that brought cheers and tears of joy:  the apparition of “St.” Martin Luther, who had appeared to an Omaha woman over a period of seven years, has been designated as “worthy of belief” by the CTA Board of Directors.

Marjoram Fennel, a former catechist in the Archdiocese of Omaha, was warmly accepted by the CTA crowd, as she spoke to them about whom she calls her “special friend”.  “At first I thought I was seeing things, or going crazy,” she explained.  “But I soon discovered that we shared much in common, and his messages to me were comforting and uplifting.”

She was grateful to the Board for their pronouncement.  Fennel told the crowd about the apparition’s circumstances. Continue reading

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A Modest Proposal For The 21st Century

There has been much discussion regarding the unsustainability of national entitlement programs – specifically, Social Security and Medicare.  These programs are either a) dangerously underfunded; b) out of money; or c) figments of all our imaginations.  We can eliminate (c), unfortunately.  Which leaves us with varying proportions of (a) and (b), depending on the time of day, wind direction and particular news network reporting the issue.

Current political circumstances dictate that these programs remain untouched by the scalpel-wielding budget writers.  Suggesting cuts in disbursements from any of these tax-payer supplied ATM’s would be political suicide, and the last thing any elected official is prepared to do, is to take the knife intended for an opponent’s back, turn it on themselves and slide it neatly between their third and fourth ribs.  Additionally, newly elected conservatives, who ran on promises of curbing spending and reducing the size of our bloatocracy, are trying to maintain their footing in the quagmire of political compromise, with a nervous eye on their calendars, recognizing that the summer of 2012 will be soon be upon them.  Thus, few, if any, politicians will recommend increasing tax-payer contribution levels to these programs.

Instead, our legislators have done what they do best – they have rolled up their sleeves, sat down to serious business and played “trim the fat off the fat side of the fat” with the budget, which affords them the luxury of appearing engaged without angering any particular large financial donor group.  Since each political party controls one house of Congress, it’s not surprising that stalemates and gridlock clog up Capitol Hill.  Normally, I applaud such a condition.  The less legislation that gets enacted, generally speaking, the better off the populace remains.  However, our present circumstances require swift action. There is no time to waste.

Which brings me to my modest proposal.  It will require no reduction in Social Security payments, or Medicare coverage; nor will it demand an increase in taxes of any sort, to anyone.  Furthermore, my proposal will help propel the “green power” agenda forward, for what it’s worth, as well as ease the burden on middle class America.  The final result will be a return to solvency of the aforementioned entitlement programs, and place our great nation back on the road to prosperity and security for all its inhabitants. Continue reading

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Catholics and Professional Football

As a person who has voted for a Republican, I am a fascist. As you may know, fascists want to control every aspect of people’s lives (and I don’t want to hear any fancy political science definitions to the contrary). With the college football season starting tonight and professional football starting a week from now, it is the perfect time to consider the ethical approach Catholics must take towards professional football. I have attempted this once before, but like Cassandra, no one really listened to my wise teachings. Therefore, I must witness once again by examining afresh all the professional football teams in light of Catholic teaching in order to determine whether Catholics may root for them while avoiding the fires of hell.

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Why Satirical Catholic Blogs Fail

I finally returned to internet connectivity this week, which has meant catching up on news & blogs I have neglected. Part of this “reconnecting” included denying a facebook friend request from someone I never heard of-only to find out that this someone was a fake online persona created in the Catholic Fascist’s attempt at satire. Having looked over all of the posts there, I was struck by how eerily similar the site was to another parody group blog-The Spirit of Vatican II.

Both blogs employed a host of satirical characters with enough resemblance to real life to make laugh (I think whoever thought of danmclockinload deserves a guest post on TAC) at first, both got roaring laughter from their own partisans-and neither blog was funny after a few days.

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Miguel H. Diaz Is A Latino, Yeah!

Miguel H. Diaz has been chosen by President Obama, peace be upon him, as the new ambassador to the Holy See.  The Miguel H. Diazsecular media and Catholic Left has been hailing Mr. Diaz as a Rahner scholar and “pro-life” Democrat.  Jesuit Father James Martin of America magazine, who recently claimed that Obama is not pro-abortion, has praised Mr. Diaz for being a Latino, in addition to being a “faithful” Catholic and for receiving a degree from the University of Notre Dame.

Abbot John Klassen of St. John’s Abbey had this to say about Mr. Diaz’s Latino and theological credentials [emphasis mine]:

“He is a strong proponent of the necessity of the Church to become deeply and broadly multi-cultural [I guess we need priestesses to be more multi-cultural], to recognize and appreciate the role that culture plays in a living faith [sounds too much like a living, breathing constitution]. Born in Havana, Cuba [Being born in Havana, Cuba is a good start in creating his Latino credentials.], he is a leading Hispanic theologian in United States.”

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Congress And The Inauguration

Courtesy of the most reliable source for news on the net, the Onion.  You know, the odd thing is that I have seen stranger Congressional hearings.  It is hard to satirize Congress.  Rather like attempting to satirize chaos.  An institution has to have some standards before satire is effective.

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