Here I Stand And Insult, I Can Do No Other

Thursday, March 8, AD 2012


The 16th Century was the golden age of the insult.  Shakespeare is replete with eloquent examples of villification including my personal favorite:

The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon! Where got’st thou that goose look? 

One of the grandmasters of the art of the insult was Martin Luther, Doctor of Theology and heresiarch of heresiarchs.   In the age of miracles we live in, someone has at last invented the Martin Luther Insult Generator.  Now you, at your fingertips, can see the vituperation that flowed freely from the pen of the “pope” of Wittenberg.  Go here to view it.  Some sample insults:

In lying fashion you ignore what even children know!  (Somebody bring in a kid, quick!)

You reek of nothing but Lucian, and you breathe out on me the vast drunken folly of Epicurus!  (Ah for the halcyon days when first-rate insults required knowledge of ancient philosophy!)

You are worthy only to be mocked by the words of error!  (Oh, I think that words of miscommunication could also mock me on some blog days.)

You should rightly be called lawyers for asses!  (Ouch!)

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5 Responses to Here I Stand And Insult, I Can Do No Other

  • I always think that the Shakespeare insult generator is worth a visit – (among others) – a few samples:

    Thou warped dread-bolted baggage!
    Thou unmuzzled half-faced barnacle!
    Thou beslubbering rough-hewn mammet!
    Thou warped ill-nurtured clack-dish!


    –Jonathan Watson

  • More and Erasmus have some pretty choice insults, too. This is More on an Englishman with French affectations:

    He pays the servant nothing — like a Frenchman.
    He clothes him in worn rags–in the French way.
    He feeds him little, that little poor–as the French do.
    He works him hard–like the French.
    He beats him often–like a Frenchman.
    At gatherings, on the street, in the market, in public, he quarrels with him and abuses him in the French manner.

  • OK, here are three that could be HHS cost free bp regulators:

    If you who are assembled in a council are so frivolous and irresponsible as to waste time and money on unnecessary questions, when it is the business of a council to deal only with the important and necessary matters, we should not only refuse to obey you, but consider you insane or criminals. – council could be read as a certain fed. gov. branch

    We leave you to your own devices, for nothing properly suits you except hypocrisy, flattery, and lies. – testifier subj. of Jesuitical 13 post

    The reward of such flattery is what your crass stupidity deserves. Therefore, we shall turn from you, a sevenfold stupid and blasphemous wise person. – or, for the above, and also, for e. branch HHS promoters (cino’s)