The prosecution in a case in Tennessee was stupid enough to file a motion in limine to stop the defense counsel from referring to it as the government. The response of the defense counsel in that case, the aptly named Drew Justice, is classic. A small sample:
Should this Court disagree, and feel inclined to let the parties basically pick their own designations and ban words, then the defense has a few additional suggestions for amending the speech code. First, the Defendant no longer wants to be called “the Defendant.” This rather archaic term of art, obviously has a fairly negative connotation. It unfairly demeans, and dehumanizes Mr. Donald Powell. The word “defendant” should be banned. At trial, Mr. Powell hereby demands be addressed only by his full name, preceded by the title “Mister.” Alternatively, he may be called simply “the Citizen Accused.” This latter title sounds more respectable than the criminal “Defendant.” The designation “That innocent man” would also be acceptable. Continue reading
You know that you are living in surreal times when the Saturday Night Live Kathleen Sebelius is less funny at defending the ObamaCare roll out than the real Kathleen Sebelius was when facing tough grilling from–Jon Stewart. Go here to watch that fiasco.
WASHINGTON—Responding to widespread criticism regarding its health care website, the federal government today unveiled its new, improved Obamacare program, which allows Americans to purchase health insurance after installing a software bundle contained on 35 floppy disks. “I have heard the complaints about the existing website, and I can assure you that with this revised system, finding the right health care option for you and your family is as easy as loading 35 floppy disks sequentially into your disk drive and following the onscreen prompts,” President Obama told reporters this morning, explaining that the nearly three dozen 3.5-inch diskettes contain all the data needed for individuals to enroll in the Health Insurance Marketplace, while noting that the updated Obamacare software is mouse-compatible and requires a 386 Pentium processor with at least 8 MB of system RAM to function properly. Continue reading
I went to law school expecting, and actually looking forward to, something like the video below:
I can understand why Internet Hitler is so upset. Control of medicine is so essential for any group seeking to reshape a nation, as the historical Hitler’s reign so amply demonstrated. Ah well, as Karl Marx noted, in one of his few on target observations: History does tend to repeat itself: the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce. Continue reading
Well what do you know? Today is Canadian Thanksgiving Day and the above video explains the differences between their day and our November Turkey feast. In case there was a language barrier while viewing the above, the below video might help: Continue reading
From Jennifer Roback Morse at Aleteia:
The headlines swirled around the Levant as itinerant preacher Jesus of Nazareth reportedly excuses both prostitutes and the men who frequent them. The latest controversy came when Jesus, whose followers believe is the Son of God, retold the story of a family whose younger son had squandered the family inheritance with prostitutes.
Lucius Gaius Paterculus, spokesman for the Herod Administration, said, “We have always found these Hebrews amusing, with all their sexual hang-ups. This is the Roman Empire; they need to get with the times. Prostitution is not so bad. Maybe this Jesus preacher will turn the tide and lead these backward people into the modern world.”
Reuben bar Timeus told the Guardian, “I recognized my father in that story Jesus told. He can’t disguise the characters in his parables enough to hide the fact that he was talking about my putz of a brother and my pathetic father. I’m considering a slander suit. This Jesus guy should keep his mouth shut and show some respect to our family.” Continue reading
This explains a lot, don’t you think? Ah, the low information voter, those who chart the destiny of this great nation! Continue reading
Over the top and entertaining which is how I like commercials if I have to endure one. I like Mexican food but I have never liked Chipotle as the menu is too limited and their massive burritos leave me cold. Just as well, as those things weigh in, on average, at a 1000 calories, which makes their wholesomener than thou commercial hilarious. Yeah, we treat the animals we slaughter for your plate in a kinder and gentler fashion as we serve you their remains to make you obese!
I do appreciate however that Chipotle burritos can apparently double for plastic explosives in a pinch: Continue reading
I love fake trailers that completely twist a movie and the above is a fine example of the genre:
Don’t run away! This modern trailer recut for “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” is just about the most awesome thing that happened on the Internet this week. Because, come on. It’s not every day that someone goes and makes “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” seem like a high-budget medieval Jerry Bruckheimer blockbuster. (Instead of, you know, just a bunch of guys running around Scotland with coconuts.) Kudos to Stefane Bouley for putting this gem together and for nearly resisting the temptation to include any humor.
Another example: Can the world survive Rambo, the Musical?
It will be amusing, if not edifying, to see the rapid back flips today from the same liberals who were all in favor of the Syrian intervention prior to Putin’s proposal. In the age of Obama, all backing of him should come with an automatic, “until he changes his mind” rider.
President Obama was an ardent critic of the war in Iraq. Here are suggestions for arguments to be made explaining how intervention in Syria is completely different from intervention in Iraq.
1. Assad has used chemical weapons on Syrians which is a terrible crime against humanity, unlike Saddam who used chemical weapons against Iraqis which is permissible.
2. The US intervention into Syria will be a proud go it alone venture by the US, unlike Bush who mucked up the Iraqi intervention with lots of allies.
3. Obama is a Nobel Peace Prize winner, so we can trust him unlike that cowboy Bush.
4. Michele Obama is proud of this intervention.
5. John Kerry is onboard with this intervention unlike Iraq which he supported until he changed his mind. Continue reading
I have always been fairly indifferent to the hits my blog posts receive, possibly since blogging makes up 0.00000 % of my income. However, over the years I have noticed that certain topics usually do draw massive amounts of hits. Here are the top ten:
1. Anything with Satan in the title.
2. Sarah Palin-A sure fire blog crowd draw since 2008, and I suspect she will remain so for the rest of her life.
3. Ted Kennedy-The “lion of the senate” has been dead for four years, but he still ignites intense emotion. (Overwhelmingly negative on this blog. You leave one, just one, young woman to die in a car and some people hold it against you!)
4. Obama and canine cuisine.
5. Jimmy Carter and his senile anti-Catholic rants. Continue reading
Apparently it is possible to underestimate the taste of the American people:
The SyFy movie about flying sharks and bad weather was seen by just over 1 million people. It had a 0.4 rating in the 18-49 demographic in early Nielsen numbers. That’s not just a bust by cable standards. It’s a bust by SyFy original movie standards. “Most Syfy originals have an average viewership of 1.5 million people, with some getting twice that,” Claire Suddath reports.
The peculiar thing about this bust was that it was a social media blockbuster. There were more than 600,000 tweets sent about the movie between 8pm and 3am last night (fewer if you go by Nielsen’s numbers), which is two tweets for every three people in America watching Sharknado. That’s particularly strange since Syfy original movies have an average viewer age of 52, and fiftysomething guys are a bit off the key demo for Twitter. Continue reading