1

Are You Middle Aged or Ancient?

Middle-Aged

 

Courtesy of Father Z.  I don’t know, I think my kids would say I am ancient.  Let’s take that test:

1.  Are your veteran benefits paid in sesterces for your valiant service in the Social War?

2.  Is your reaction when people say, “We can’t be fired, slaves have to be sold!”, well, duh!

3.  Do you view the tribunes as a radical destabilizing force in the Republic?

4.  Do you think those illegal aliens from Magna Graecia should be shipped back south, especially if they won’t learn Latin?

5.  Do you think the Dionysian mystery cult is leading the younger generation astray? Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Brazil

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

“From the beautiful beaches of its coast along the Atlantic to its lush rain forest surrounding the Amazon River, the Almighty harbors a deep and serious hatred for the country of Brazil,” said St. Gabriel the Archangel, Press Secretary of the Kingdom of Heaven since the resignation of Jay Carney earlier this year. “The Trinitarian Godhead, who is infinite both in His Justice and His Mercy, just plain old doesn’t like the place, and for some reason contained in His Mysterious Providence, wishes for its people nothing but bitter sadness in their life. That is why he allowed Brazil to suffer such a bitter and humiliating loss to the German National Team.”

The Archangel explained, however, that this hatred is “not in any way” toward the souls of the Brazilian people, and His Salvific Grace is always poured out to them. “It’s not that the Alpha/Omega desires their eternal torment; He wishes that all men be saved. But in this temporal life, the Creator simply wants them to suffer with terrible agony.”

St. Gabriel reassured the public that Brazil is not alone in the Almighty’s hatred. “I know that the lands of Haiti and Iraq are definitely up there as well.” When asked about the city of Detroit, the archangel abruptly announced, “This press conference is over.”

When asked to comment Pope Francis said, That is a relief!  After Kirchner was elected President I assumed God hated Argentina.

Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Obama Mass

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

 

Southbend, IN––Three years after Notre Dame invited Barack Obama to deliver the commencement speech to its graduating class, the university has now reportedly invited him to say Mass at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart. “We’d like to let our students and their parents know that we would never compromise our faith tradition,” Notre Dame President, Reverend John Jenkins, said Friday, “It is a simple show of Christian unity.” But not all Catholics are in favor of the university’s decision to allow a pro-choice, non-Catholic to say Mass. Sophomore Alice Bell had some reservations about the decision, telling Eye of the Tiber that she and her friends would not be attending Mass for the next year or two in protest. No word yet on whether the democratic president intends to hear confessions prior to Mass. Continue Reading

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Schadenfreude, Sweet Schadenfreude

National Catholic Reporter

 

Go here to read the often hysterical, and frequently unintentionally humorous, comments on the Hobby Lobby decision at the National Catholic Reporter.

 

One of my personal favorites:

No, Pete, this decision is not good and it is not a start. Thanks to Congress and the US Supreme Court it is a continuation of the slide from a pluralistic society into a theocratic one. And not just a theocracy, but a Christian theocracy. (Judaism and Islam is not included.) And not just a Christian theocracy, but a so-called Christian theocracy embraced by a small minority who hold certain “sincere beliefs.”
With this decision all tax payers of whatever belief or no belief will have to allocate part of the US budget to pay for medical benefits for women who are denied those benefits so their corporate employers can be free to exercise their “sincere beliefs.”
As we celebrate this Independence Day 2014 it might be beneficial to ask if this is what the founders had in mind when they wrote the First Amendment U.S. Constitution.
George McCartin
priest/lawyer

 

 

1

PopeWatch: Nutmail

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Boonville, NC–Writing under the pen name “Nerocious,” 67-year-old Max Kroeger of Boonville, North Carolina sent an irate letter to the Vatican this week denouncing what he called the “abuse and corruption” inside the Vatican. Kroeger reported this morning that the 12,000 word letter addressed to “TO WHOM IT MUST CONCERN” was the fruit of a vigorous and ferocious one hour writing session he had had the prior evening after finishing the book Hitler’s Pope. Father Roberto Abate, who had the privilege of opening the letter, told Eye of the Tiber that he had never seen such a well crafted letter in all his years. “It was outstanding,” Abate said, still in tears by the fervor that seemed to pour forth from the passionately written letter. “I was moved even before I read its contents. The entire thing was written in caps, which automatically caught my attention and alerted me to the fact this was a serious matter, and that this man, whoever he was, was extremely furious about the state of the Church.” Abate went on to say that the masterfully executed letter, with its flawless use of all caps, as well a large number of just perfectly positioned bold ones that helped to emphasize certain aspects Kroeger believed the Church was lacking, could very well make it to the Holy Father’s desk. “This is what the Pope likes to see. It is not enough to write a letter. You must mean it…you must make it stand out. After all, without capitalized words, bold words, underlined words, and perhaps even highlighted words pointing out phrases that you don’t want the reader to overlook, how can you expect anyone to know that you’re frustrated?” Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Excommunication

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

 

Washington, DC––In an astonishing move today, Minority Leader of the House of Representatives and Mouthpiece of God in the United States Nancy Pelosi has excommunicated San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone.

The move comes just a day after Pelosi sent Cordileone a letter asking him not to attend the National Organization for Marriage march in Washington D.C., calling the event “venom masquerading as virtue.” In response to the letter, Cordileone issued a response saying that the March for Marriage “is not anti-LGBT, but rather, it is a pro-marriage march.”

The letter of excommunication begins with Pelosi regretfully informing the San Francisco bishop that, due to actions displaying disdain and hate towards LGBT persons, “I, Nancy Pelosi, Mouthpiece of God Almighty, Secretary of Defense Against Bigotry, Director of the Office of Tolerance, and Ambassador to the Alpha and the Omega, hereby impose a ferendae sententiae, excommunicating you from my Catholic Church. I ask you to ‘evolve’ and to mend your bigot ways.”

“We separate him, together with his accomplices and abettors, from the precious Body and Blood of the Lord and from the society of all Christian people,” Pelosi told EOTT as she stroked the point of her long red tail. “We exclude him from our Holy Mother the Church in Heaven and on earth; we declare him excommunicate and anathema; we judge him damned, with the Devil and his angels, to eternal fire until he shall recover himself from the toils of the Devil and return to amendment and to penitence. So be it!”

At press time, Pelosi’s uncle, Screwtape, is very proud of her. Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Trees

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

VATICAN–Just moments after Israeli President Shimon Peres and his Palestinian counterpart Mahmoud Abbas helped Pope Francis plant an Olive Tree in the Vatican Garden yesterday, the Jewish news outlet The Fiddler reported that peace had broken out in Israel.

Upon hearing the news, Pope Francis told Israeli and Palestinian leaders “I told you so. I told you so. Didn’t I tell you this was a magic tree?”

Surrounded by Palestinians and Israelis holding hands and giving each other piggyback rides, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Skyped Pope Francis to inform him that everything had been a misunderstanding, and all was now settled.

“The Palestinians are wonderful people!” Netanyahu told Pope Francis as he signed an executive order to open all checkpoints in the country, allowing free access for Palestinians to move around. “As of today we will have two states. Israel and Palestine will from here on, live happily side by side.”

The recorded Skype video shows jubilant Hamas leaders hoisting Netanyahu on to their shoulders as they chanted, “Peace! Peace! Peace!”

But less than one day after receiving news that every single Middle East conflict had been resolved, the magic Olive Tree that Francis, Peres, and Abbas had shoddily planted into the ground toppled over with a gust of wind, instantaneously causing a chain reaction of violent outbreaks all across the Middle East.

Speaking to reporters from the Vatican Gardens, Francis said that he was saddened to hear of the news, going on to tell the press that he had received another Skype from Netanyahu showing the Israeli Prime Minister in a fist fight with Hamas leaders.

Both sides are now blaming the other over whose shoddy work caused the fall of the tree. Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Torture

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

ROME –  Pope Francis led a pep rally yesterday in Rome’s Olympic Stadium in front of more than 50,000 Catholics who follow charismatic movements.

While listening to what many have termed “the most heinous music ever prayed to,” 50,000 Catholics raised their hands in unison as they prayed for Francis, who silently and repeatedly asked God Almighty to just make it stop.

Francis told the faithful that the devil wants to destroy the family, which he described as the “domestic church,” and went on to plead for the end of the use of torture.

“We also call on the international community to put a stop to the torture of prisoners. I’m guessing that this is why this music is playing in the background. That we may know what it is to suffer excruciating pain.”

Francis told the crowd that when he was Buenos Aires Archbishop, at first he didn’t “share” the way the exuberant charismatic Catholics prayed there, but now realized that he still has not changed his mind, going on to encourage everyone to man up and stop crying already.

Many in the crowd, we think, told EOTT while speaking in tongues that they were thrilled by the visit, saying, “Я тоже не знаю, что говорю.”  Another woman said that “In realta’, non so quello che sto facendo adesso,” while her husband concurred with whatever the heck his wife said, adding, “Ich glaube, ich bete für euch gerade jetzt, aber ich kann nicht sicher sein.”

“It was wonderful to see him there,” said Donetta Corti, a charismatic Catholic living in Rome, as she swayed back and forth with one hand in the air like some doped up hippy just moments after taking a hit of that sweet, sweet ganja. “The entire experience appeared to overwhelm His Holiness as it does most every newcomer. Many times you could see him slumped over, vomiting, and asking God to just stop it and to put him out of his misery. It was obvious the man wanted to die a martyr. What humility…to plead to God on your knees in front of 50,000 people to end the misery of the world…to vomit because the pain and suffering in the world touches him at such a deep level.

Toward the end of the event, Francis invited members of the charismatic movement to the Vatican for a prayer service, adding that there were many people in the curia and Vatican Bank that he would like to have “sit through this” as a warning to never act out of line again.

Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Ouch!

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN–Vatican sources are confirming that Pope Francis has nearly completed his new Encyclical Letter, and is awaiting the final approval of Reginald Edwards, an internet troll commonly known as “PiusXIIRoxII.”

Edwards, who has read several paragraphs of the Catechism, three books by Peter Kreeft, and half of St. John Paul II’s “Fides et Ratio,” is universally regarded as the final authority in matters of Orthodoxy in internet chatrooms, forums, and the comment section under YouTube videos.

Speaking from the kitchen this morning, Reginald’s mother told EOTT over a phone interview: “I’m so proud of Reggie for getting to be a consultant to the Vatican. He’s more than earned it. All he does is sit in the basement on his computer, answering questions and demanding people justify their beliefs to him. He gets so into it that he often locks the door and doesn’t let me down there, even to bring him lemonade.”

Edwards has already made several notes on the new Encyclical, titled Bora et Labora, having circled or underlined several paragraphs in red and written margin notes such as “a little too Spirit of Vatican-II-ey” and “where is this in the Catechism?” Continue Reading

PopeWatch: Smile When You Say Shalom or Salaam

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

JERUSALEM–Fifty years after the historic embrace between the heads of the Catholic and Christian Orthodox Churches, Pope Francis will become the fourth Pope to visit the Holy Land and try to walk away unscathed.

There he will hold his own private meeting with the Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople at the Apostolic Delegation in Jerusalem, where they will sign a declaration promising that the Patriarch won’t attempt to poison his glass. His pilgrimage will include the delivery of three masses (said for the intentions of his own life) and a private visit to the Grotto of the Nativity in Bethlehem.

But in addition to inter-Church relations, the Pope will be extending an olive branch to the other Abrahamic faiths that share the land. Accompanying him on the trip will be Rabbi Abraham Skorka and Muslim leader Omar Abboud, who both hail from the Pope’s native Argentina, and who could, if needed, be used as shields against a barrage of bullets.

Their packed three-day itinerary, includes a trip to the West Bank, Jerusalem, Israel, and Jordan, where, if you seriously think about it, could turn out to be a trap, like in that one movie where the lead cop in the presidential motorcade leads them into an alley, which turns out to be a trap. And then people on the roof start firing down on them as the music gets all crazy and dramatic and everyone gets killed except for the president.

At press time, the Vatican is announcing that, to address the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian political conflict, Pope Francis will waste his time visiting Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: It’s a Miracle!

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

VATICAN—Just days after Pope Paul VI moved one step closer to canonization after a miracle required for Beatification was formally approved, an EOTT source inside the Vatican’s Congregation for the Causes of Saints today is saying that a second miracle was approved this morning.

A yet to be released report by the Vatican states that an unidentified priest, through the miraculous intercession of Pope Paul VI, gave an entire homily on the topic of Humanae Vitae during the Summer of 2012.

The unidentified priest reportedly gave the homily during National Natural Family Planning Awareness Week in 2012, which occurs annually around July 25th, the anniversary of the release of Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI.

One former parishioner who was present during the miraculous homily told EOTT today that she had “never heard something so obscene” in all her years. “That was the last time I ever stepped foot into a Catholic church. Many parishioners, myself included, left to become members of the Unitarian Church across the street that very day. We felt so much more accepted. Our new church even has Zumba Yoga!”

Some parishioners, although admittedly taken back by the shocking homily, have hesitantly remained in the Catholic Church. “We were so confused at first,” said Sarah Miller, a lifelong Catholic studying Women’s Studies. “He usually starts homilies with a Deepok Chopra quote or a story about a disabled puppy that overcame obstacles, so this was very new to us. It was the summer, so there weren’t as many people at Mass. It was extra quiet. He started to talk about…stuff…stuff I’d rather not mention.”

Although the parish where the homily was given has since lost more than 50% of their parishioners, for some, it has become a pilgrimage site, with hundreds flocking to the site every year to kiss the lectern where the homily was given. Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Ferret Feet

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN–Pope Francis visited the Don Gnocchi Center in Rome today to wash the feet of 12 residents for the Holy Week ritual.

According to the Catholic Information Service, those 12 included  one woman, a Muslim, a pet ferret named Wilbur, and a double amputee, which falls in line with Pope Francis’ actions during last year’s Maundy Thursday.

The ceremony, which is rooted in the story of the Last Supper, made headlines last year when the pope visited a youth detention center and washed the feet of several young anyone who happened to be in his proximity.

Alessandria Stefanoni, the Deputy CEO and Director of Policy and Programs at Good Works Incorporated, told Vatican Radio the pope has shown a commitment to bring attention to those most often forgotten in society, including the disabled, four-legged mammals, and nearly anything else that was created by God. “It is giving a voice,” Stefanoni said. “It’s showing respect for their dignity.”

In November, Pope Francis critiqued society’s tendency to “hide physical fragility,” which he rejected by greeting hundreds of people in wheelchairs and encouraging them to become “protagonists” in the Catholic church. He also critiqued society’s tendency to discriminate against mammals belonging to the weasel genus of the family Mustelidae. Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Saint Peter?

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN––Members of the Society of St. Pius X have stormed the internet and radio waves in violent protest against the upcoming canonization of Pope Simon Peter I. The backlash was worse than expected by the Holy See, and the protesters have not pulled any punches. One commentator on a popular tridentine website morecatholicthanthepope.com wrote, “This is the guy who denied Christ three times in one night, and now they want to canonize him? This isn’t the way Christ instituted the Church. This man is not an example to me or my 14 children.”

An SSPX blogger accused the former Pope, who was martyred for his faith in the First Century, of liturgical abuses, saying, “Christ was crucified head-upward. That is the pattern He established. Then this Peter guy comes along and decides he wants to be crucified upside-down.”

Some have even accused Peter, born Simon, son of John, of heresy in his famous debate with Paul regarding circumcision, while others claim his attitude toward the “circumcision party” was not true heresy but an exaggerated ecumenism. Continue Reading

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You Knew This Was Going to Happen Eventually, Didn’t You

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN––The Vatican Press Office Director Father Federico Lombardi issued a statement to the media today concerning Pope Francis’ recent telephone call to a divorced and remarried Argentine woman, in which he supposedly gave her permission to receive Holy Communion. The woman at the center of the story, Jacqui Sabetta, and her ex-husband told reporters that His Holiness told them that “divorced people who take communion are not doing anything wrong.”

In response to the controversy, Lombardi has issued the following statement:

Statement from the Director of the Holy See Press Office

Several telephone calls have taken place in the context of Pope Francis’ personal pastoral relationships.

Since they do not in any way form part of the Pope’s public activities, no information or comments are to be expected from the Holy See Press Office.

Consequences relating to the teaching of the Church are not to be inferred from these occurrences.

Nevertheless…in light of how out of control these phone calls are becoming, and the distraction they are causing from the Church’s mission, we have decided to disconnect His Holiness’ phone service indefinitely. For the lack of a better term, His Holiness is hereby grounded, his phone has been taken away, as well as his access to social media. He has said nothing wrong, but he knew better than to give ammunition to you in the media.

Our telephone provider, Telefonica, has been notified of our wish that no one be allowed to call outside the Vatican until the end of His Holiness’ pontificate,  and they have assured us that phone service in the Vatican is to be disconnected sometime tonight, before His Holiness finds some spare time and decides to dial someone back home. We ask all of you in the media to please keep this news on the hush-hush until service is successfully shut off.

Thank you for your cooperation. Continue Reading

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Didn’t You Always Suspect This?

 

Bad News

From the only reliable source of news on the net, The Onion:

 

WASHINGTON—Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back and enjoy themselves while the United States collapses of its own accord.

Multiple intelligence agencies confirmed that the militant Islamist organization and its numerous affiliates intend to carry out a massive, coordinated plan to stand aside and watch America’s increasingly rapid decline, with terrorist operatives across the globe reportedly mobilizing to take it easy, relax, and savor the spectacle as it unfolds.

“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.”

“And unfortunately, based on information we have from intelligence assets on the ground, this plot is already well under way,” he added.

A recently declassified CIA report confirmed that all known al-Qaeda-affiliated organizations—from Pakistan to Yemen, and from Somalia to Algeria—have been instructed to kick back and enjoy the show as the United States’ federal government, energy grid, and industrial sector are rendered impotent by internal dissent, decay, and mismanagement. According to statements made by top-level informants and corroborated by leading Western terrorism experts, if seen through to its conclusion, al-Qaeda’s current plot could wreak far more damage than the events of 9/11.

In the past year, money transfers to al-Qaeda cells around the world have reportedly been accompanied by instructions to use the funds to outfit safe houses with the proper equipment to receive American cable news broadcasts and view top U.S. news websites, allowing terrorists to fully relish each detail of the impending demise of the last global superpower Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Secession

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Washington—Catholic Democrats voted to secede from the Catholic Church in a referendum yesterday, with final results showing that 95.5% of ballots were in favor of becoming Pagan.

Leaders from the Pagan Coalition will pass legislation allowing Catholics in the Democratic Party who follow their consciences even when they conflict with moral teachings of the Magisterium to be known as Pagans. The Vatican has welcomed the results, with the Vatican Press Office today issuing a statement of support and congratulations.

“Results of the referendum in the Democratic Party clearly showed that Catholic Democrats see their future only as part of the Pagan movement,” said Vatican Press Secretary Roberto Ansaldi. “We support their decision and hope that their transition will be seamless. ‘Transition’ isn’t the right word there is it? ‘Transition’ would imply some sort of change from one position to another.”

Continue Reading

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My Little Pony Cavalry Commander

MLP-CC-3DBox-800px

 

 

Ah, if only this proposed computer game did not have an April 1 announcement date.  My daughter would have loved it when she was younger.  I have always believed that every well brought up young lady should have a firm grasp of at least basic military tactics and strategy.  (The same applies for well brought up young gentlemen): Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Women

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Washington, DC––Fresh off her groundbreaking sermon denouncing “the misogynist St. Paul” for depriving the demoniac girl of her spiritual gifts in Acts 16:16, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church Reverend Katharine Jefferts Schori has published another landmark piece of scriptural exegesis.  In a new set of essays entitled The Great Amend, Schori highlights the systematic oppression, degradation, and misunderstanding of women throughout Holy Scripture. Prominent examples include Delilah, long viewed as a villain, actually a sexually-liberated freedom-fighter; Jezebel, a trailblazing political leader and forerunner to such modern figures as Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi; and Eve, an independent, free-thinking woman who was ostracized by the all-male establishment because of her dietary preferences.  “By far the most egregious example of the oppressive patriarchy within the Bible,” Jefferts Schori observes, “is a particular teenage girl, about three-quarters of the way through the book, who is forced to consent to an unwanted pregnancy.  Any fair and just society would have provided her access to proper reproductive services — including safe, legal, state-subsidized abortion.” Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: Art

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Painting of The Rise of the Sentients in Guardian Angels Cathedral in Las Vegas, Nevada

VATICAN CITY––An official at the Vatican Press Office today announced that the Vatican was in preliminary negotiations with Las Vegas bishop Joseph Pepe to swap Michelangelo’s The Last Judgment with the world-renowned painting The Rise of the Sentients located inside Guardian Angel Cathedral in Las Vegas, Nevada. Monsignor Alexander Bader, a spokesman for the Sistine Chapel, told reporters earlier this morning that The Last Judgment, though exquisite in its own right, had “run its course.” “We do not doubt the beauty of Michelangelo’s piece,” Bader told reporters. “But the fact is that the wonderfully pure artistry and vibrant colors of The Rise of the Sentients, with its images of bare-chested sentients flying up, up and away to heaven or Krypton, call it what you may, lends itself to what the theme of our chapel ought to be…artwork communicating itself on an inner level, found not so much in the painting itself, as it is in the viewer…very much like our faith.” Bader did not disclose many specifics about the trade, saying only that it was officials at the Sistine Chapel that initiated the offer, and that thus far, Pepe has been reluctant to trade the piece. “Who could blame him? All I can say at this time is that Bishop Pepe has indeed denied our first offer. We are currently working on a proposal that could also include the Pieta, and possibly even the Basilica of Saint Mary Major.” Continue Reading

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ObamaCare: Do It to Shut the Nagging Moms Up

A tribute to just how delusional contemporary liberalism is.  Young people do not want to sign up for ObamaCare policies which they view as too expensive, and almost certainly unnecessary for them while they are young and healthy.  Solution:  have celebrity moms nag them to purchase the insurance and they will sign on in droves!  These people truly do believe in unicorns and pixie dust as the solution to real world problems, and that self interest will bow to the lure of second hand celebrity.  (At least unicorns and pixies would be entertaining as compared to the wretched video above.)  Liberalism since the time of McGovern has been a long revolt against reality, but reality always wins in the end.

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Saint Patrick’s Bad Analogies: Updated

From those wickedly funny folks at The Lutheran Satire.  On Saint Patrick’s Day it is good to recall this from his confession of faith:

For there is no other God, nor ever was before, nor shall be hereafter, but God the Father, unbegotten and without beginning, in whom all things began, whose are all things, as we have been taught; and his son Jesus Christ, who manifestly always existed with the Father, before the beginning of time in the spirit with the Father, indescribably begotten before all things, and all things visible and invisible were made by him. He was made man, conquered death and was received into Heaven, to the Father who gave him all power over every name in Heaven and on Earth and in Hell, so that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and God, in whom we believe. And we look to his imminent coming again, the judge of the living and the dead, who will render to each according to his deeds. And he poured out his Holy Spirit on us in abundance, the gift and pledge of immortality, which makes the believers and the obedient into sons of God and co-heirs of Christ who is revealed, and we worship one God in the Trinity of holy name.

Anyone who can say Amen to that will be honoring Saint Patrick today in a manner he would truly approve.

Update:

The folks at The Lutheran Satire delve what happens to YouTube captioning in a video filled with bad Irish accents and Trinitarian jargon:

Then Donall and Conall tangle with Mormon missionaries:

 

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PopeWatch: Clowns

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

CM

Sacramento, CA––Sources say that just minutes after a Circus Mass at St. Pius X Catholic Church concluded earlier this morning, Church Pastor and Ring Master Fr. Reggie Smith reprimanded a clown deacon for having honked the horn several seconds after the consecration. “The GIRM clearly states that ‘a little before the Consecration, when appropriate, a server honks a horn as a signal to the audience. According to local custom, the server also honks the horn as the priest and ringmaster shows the host and then the chalice,” An infuriated Smith told EOTT as he kissed and hung up his ringmaster whip. “And our local custom is to honk the horn at this point. After all, what’s the point in using the Sanctus Horn if it’s not used to alert the faithful of the consecration.” Smith added that not even the Pope himself had the right to change the rubrics of the Mass, and that doing so was in complete contradiction to the spirit of obedience. At press time, Smith says that he will consider administering disciplinary action should this type of negligence happen again in the future. Continue Reading

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Hollywood Should Continue to Blacklist Mel Gibson

Mel and Friend

 

 

Is it time for Hollywood to stop blacklisting Mel Gibson?  Journalist Allison Hope Weiner thinks so:

 

In the years that followed, Gibson made several comments that went public, made him seem anti-Semitic and racist. They made him persona non grata at major studios and agencies, the same ones that work with others who’ve committed felonies and done things far more serious than Gibson, who essentially used his tongue as a lethal weapon. As a journalist who vilified Gibson in The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly until my coverage allowed me to get to know him, I want to make the case here that it is time for those Hollywood agencies and studios to end their quiet blacklisting of Mel Gibson. Continue Reading

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Top Ten Reasons Why Obama is Not the Anti-Christ

Obama and Cross

At a recent event, President Obama was called the anti-Christ by a heckler.   This is so unfair!  Here are the top ten reasons why Obama is not the anti-Christ.

 

10. Obama can’t be the anti-Christ because he is a Christian…O.K., make that the top nine reasons why Obama isn’t the anti-Christ.

9.  Obama fears that 666 is the number of daily calories that Michele will allow him on his next diet.

8.  Satan has not taken possession of Obama, although some sort of lease arrangement is a possibility.

7.  Elijah and Enoch haven’t been killed by drones. Yet.

6.  The anti-Christ would never vote present.

5.  Putin doesn’t fit into his Gog costume. Continue Reading

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PopeWatch: No Gold for the Vatican

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One loss is good for the soul.  Too many losses is not good for the coach.

Knute Rockne

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

SOCHI, Russia––For only the third time in Winter Games history, the United States swept the podium, capturing the top three spots Thursday in Slopestyle Skiing’s Olympic debut, an event that many sports historians say was created in the past four years by a half-baked college kid in his dorm room in Colorado. In the meantime, the Vatican has yet to medal, leading EOTT to ask just why the Holy See National Team has failed to take to the podium.

“From what I’ve seen, it’s probably because there is no Holy See Olympic team. I’d definitely start there,” said EOTT sports reporter S.C. Naoum in an interview with Raymond Arroyo this morning. “The problem is that the Church is not impulsive. They take their time with nearly everything, including canonizations, which have been known to take centuries. There’s no way they could ever learn the ever-changing sports that seemingly materialize out of nowhere every four years.

The last time the Holy See had an Olympian was in the 2012 Vancouver games when Father Roberto Manisini competed in Cross Country Skiing. Mansini took last place that year after Vatican officials took nearly three months to pray and contemplate whether Mansisni should remain behind the pack to conserve energy, or to try to take an early lead. Afterwards came another two years of back-and-forth paper work passed from one Vatican department to the other, until then Pope Benedict XVI gave his final seal of approval to conserve his energy and wait for a better opportunity. Mansini came in last with a time of 19,723 hours. Continue Reading

11

PopeWatch: Biden Culpa

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Washington, DC––Vice President Joe Biden announced today that he was stepping down as Vice President just hours after an altercation on the phone between Biden and President Obama regarding the sanctity of life. This comes on the heels of Biden’s visit with with Pope Francis after the conclusion of the pope’s Installation Mass, in which Biden could be heard uttering the words “what have I done…what have I done.” “It appears as though Mr. Biden has had a change of heart with regards to the abortion issue after his meeting with the pope earlier today,” U.S. Press Secretary Jay Carney told the press moments ago. “He [Biden] called President Obama and informed him that he could no longer stand by as millions of babies were aborted. He also said that he had confessed his sins and now looked to remain in good standings with the Church and the good Lord. He also urged President Obama to make peace with God.” Although the full details of the phone conversation have been slow to come out, Washington insiders have said that after a heated debate about when life begins, Biden told President Obama that he was stepping down ”effective immediately” to live a life of prayer and meditation. Biden aides have yet to comment on the details, but have confirmed reports that the former vice president had placed a call to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI about staying with him until he could get an abandoned monastery of his own to live out the rest of his life. At press time, a bare-chested Biden was seen on his knees outside St. Peter’s Basilica, repeatedly lashing himself as he screamed the words “mea culpa” in reparation for his sins. Continue Reading

23

PopeWatch: Marty Haugen

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

Geneva, Switzerland–New guidelines set down by the international community during the fifth Geneva Convention this week has extensively defined the basic, spiritual wartime rights of the Church Militant by outlawing all Marty Haugen music used in and around war-zones. What is officially being called The Geneva Convention relative to the Protection of Parishioners in Times of Spiritual War has become the fifth convention establishing the standards on international law for the humanitarian treatment of spiritual war. “Our new resolution states that all Catholics who are in the process of spiritual warfare are to be treated humanely,” Said General of the Counsel Robert Durant at a press conference earlier this morning. “The following acts are to be henceforth prohibited: Violence to life and person, in particular, cruel treatment and torture by means of being made to listen to Gather Us In. Outrages upon personal dignity, in particular humiliating and degrading treatment such as asking parishioners to sing along to We Remember. And finally, all acts requiring parishioners to listen to said music during the reception of communion.” Continue Reading

4

Makes Sense

Drunk Insurance

 

I am normally skeptical of “scientific” studies that purport to find a linkage between what seem to be unrelated phenomena, but this makes sense:

When a U.S. state becomes more liberal politically, its consumption of beer and spirits rises, researchers say.

Pavel A. Yakovleva and Walter P. Guessforda, both of Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, said they estimated  the relationship between political ideology and the demand for beer, wine and spirits using a longitudinal panel of all 50 U.S. states Continue Reading

1

PopeWatch: Battling Metaphors

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN–In a gesture at the Vatican’s annual “Caravan of Peace,” Pope Francis happily watched as two children at his side released a pair of white doves as symbols of peace and unity from the window of the Apostolic Palace.

But just moments later, two metaphors, one, of the world’s unwillingness for dialogue, and the second, its utter hostility at the thought of compromise swept down on the hapless symbols of peace as tens of thousands of people in St. Peter’s Square looked on.

One dove managed to break free from one of the metaphors, losing a few feathers in the brawl, symbolizing that, though the chance of peace in the world is not dead, that it is severely fragile to more dominant and negative attitudes. A crow playing the metaphor of the world’s hostility toward compromise had a better grip on the other dove, pecking the symbol of peace repeatedly, reminding all those gathered that in the face of hatred, there really is not much of a chance for peace anywhere in the world, let alone the Middle East.

In the end, both symbols of peace got away, although the extent of their injuries wasn’t immediately clear.

The boy looked upset at the bird’s misfortune, prompting the pope to embrace him and pat his head. The young girl appeared to be cynically laughing at the turn of events, perhaps realizing for the first time in her short life that achieving peace is doomed to violence and struggle against the oppression of tyrants and Muslim terrorists. Continue Reading

7

PopeWatch: Chatting with the Prez

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

Matt Archbold at National Catholic Register, go here to read it, has a post where he imagines ten things that Obama might say to the Pope.  Here is ten things that PopeWatch thinks the Pope might say to Obama:

10.   Joe Biden, is he like that in private?

9.     No, it is true, Buenos Aires is windier than Chicago.

8.     Yes, I can perform an exorcism but I do not think it would help Nancy Pelosi.

7.      Yes, I used to smoke also.  No I did not have to hide it from my wife as I have never been married.

6.      Yes, not being married is a job requirement.

5.      Freedom of worship is not the same thing as freedom of religion. Continue Reading

10

Sinister Rotary

AbeLincolnevent2013

Service Above Self

Motto Of Rotary

 

I always stop in at Ed Driscoll’s blog each day.  He is always worth reading.  As a member of Rotary since 1985, go here to view the Dwight Rotary Club’s web site, I have found one of his latest posts quite a hoot:

More seriously, if Keillor’s rhetoric sounds sclerotic and reactionary, it’s because he’s tapping into a nearly century-old tradition of “Progressives” who see no evil on the left; but plenty bubbling up from the right. In his new book, The Revolt Against the Masses, Fred Siegel looks back at Sinclair Lewis’s 1935 book, It Can’t Happen Here, which posited that the Rotary Club(!) was poised to seize American power:

The heart of It Can’t Happen Here is laid out in the opening chapter, which presents the local Rotary Club, with its Veterans of Foreign Wars tub-thumping patriotism and prohibitionist moralism, as comparable, on a small scale, to the mass movements that brought Fascism to Europe. Later in the novel, he has a character explain, half-satirically and half-seriously, “This is Revolution in terms of Rotary.” In other words, Lewis’s imagined fascism is little more than Main Street writ political. When he wants to mock Windrip, he describes him as a “professional common man” who is “chummy with all waitresses at . . . lunch rooms.” For Lewis, fascism is the product of backslapping Rotarians, Elks, and Masons, as well as various and sundry other versions of joiners that Tocqueville had once celebrated as the basis of American self-government. There is more than a hint of snobbery in all this. The book’s local incarnation of evil is Jessup’s shiftless, resentful handyman Shad Ledue, who was a member of the “Odd Fellows and the Ancient and Independent Order of Rams.” Ledue uses Windrip’s ascension to rise above himself and displace Jessup from his rightful place in the local hierarchy of power.

If the book were merely an indictment of red-state nativist intolerance, there would be little to distinguish it from numerous other novels and plays of the 1920s that were part of “the revolt against the village.” Lewis was hardly the only writer of the period to, Mencken-like, describe the average American as a “boob” or “peasant.” What made It Can’t Happen Here compelling was that it showed the boobs working through a familiar institution, the local Rotary, to become a menace to the Republic.

In a 2012 issue of Commentary, building on research for The Revolt Against the Masses, Siegel goes on to note that after World War II, the Frankfurt School picked up the left’s attack against middle America:

“In the over-developed countries,” wrote Herbert Marcuse, who became the most famous Frankfurt School theoretician of the 1960s, “an ever-larger part of the population becomes one huge captive audience—captured not by a total regime, but by the liberties of the citizens whose media of amusement and elevation compels the Other to partake of their sounds, sights, and smells.” He was arguing, in effect, for greater social segregation between the elite and the hoi polloi.

Dwight Macdonald, the most influential American critic of mass culture in the late 1950s, concurred with the Frankfurt School. Writing in crackling prose redolent of Mencken’s, he too argued that bourgeois prosperity was creating a cultural wasteland: “The work week has shrunk, real wages have risen, and never in history have so many people attained such a high standard of living as in this country since 1945,” Macdonald complained.

“Money, leisure, and knowledge,” he went on, “the prerequisites for culture, are more plentiful and more evenly distributed than ever before.”

Macdonald, who was educated at Phillips Exeter Academy and Yale and associated with the anti-Stalinist leftists at Partisan Review, still couldn’t bring himself to support the United States against the Nazis in World War II on the grounds that “Europe has its Hitlers, but we have our Rotarians.”

My dad, who passed away in 2006, was a life-long member of the Rotarian Club, and president of his local South Jersey chapter for a year in the mid-1970s. At the time, I just remember him putting on a gray suit, navy blue rep tie and his omnipresent double-soled black Florsheim wingtips to trundle off to the weekly meetings.

In retrospect, I had no idea how Absolutely. Hard. Core. he was.

Continue Reading

13

PopeWatch: Good Morning Father!

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN––Shortly after it was revealed that his predecessor, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, defrocked 400 priests for sexual abuse of minors, Pope Francis decreed the immediate removal of priestly faculties for 300 priests from Europe and the Americas who were found in defiance of liturgical norms and persistently refused to greet parishioners with the traditional “Good Morning” liturgical salutation. “The rubrics are clear in this regard; the celebrant is to smile, holds his hands out widely and welcomingly, and say ‘Good Morning,’ in a jubilant voice, before continuing with the Penitential Rites,” said a spokesman for the Holy See, defending the Holy Father’s decision. He continued, “a committee has been established also to ensure that liturgical norms for homilies are followed strictly by all who preach at Mass.” These norms, he explained, are somewhat more flexible: “the priest or deacon or layperson with a degree in theology or pastoral ministry has the option, in this case, of beginning with either a story or a joke. But beyond this, there is little wiggle room. Defying this would be the liturgical equivalent of deliberately changing a note in Marty Haugen’s ‘Mass of Creation’ setting for the Eucharistic Prayer, the Canonical penalty for which is an automatic excommunication.” The spokesman concluded firmly: “We are not at liberty to tamper with the Holy Liturgy of the Church, adding and subtracting as we see fit. That would make it more about us than about God.” Continue Reading

14

PopeWatch: Priestless

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN––Days after abolishing the title of “monsignor,” Pope Francis has now reportedly eliminated the practice of granting seminarians the title of ”priest,” a Vatican insider told EOTT this morning from Rome. According to a report Sunday by the Italian newspaper La Repubblica, only single laymen over the age of 65 will from now on be eligible to receive the title of priest. “The title of priest is primarily honorific, and should normally only be granted to laymen as a reward for service to the church, such as having been an usher for more than four decades,” Apostolic Nuncio to the United States Giovanni Martinelli told EOTT. “Or it should be given as a sign of a unique function a layman has performed in the church, such as being the guy who selects which family will walk the gifts up to the altar.” The title was once granted by a bishop on the recommendation of God. But many have criticized the practice, saying that ordination naturally leads to an “air of careerism in the church.” According to Martinelli, every nuncio across the globe has been asked to write to bishops within their territories to inform them of the pope’s decision and to say that those who have already been given the title of priest can keep it; for now. Continue Reading

20

PopeWatch: Communion Gate

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN––It was revealed today that senior assistants to Pope Francis conspired to snarl lines for Holy Communion in the basilica of a “rival Cardinal.”  In an EOTT exclusive, an anonymous source said that some of Pope Francis’ top aides remained bitter toward supporters of an undisclosed papal candidate who came close to being elected at the March 2013 conclave. Information leaked from the papal election named Santos Abril y Castello, Archpriest of the Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore, as one of the cardinals who had cast his vote for a runner-up instead of then-Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio. In official emails and text messages shown to EOTT today, Papal aides discussed Castello’s non-support of Francis in bitter tones in the months following the election. In one email dated December 4, 2013, an aide to Pope Francis, Father Pietro Torelli mentions Castello’s vote and jokes with another aide, “Time for some communion traffic problems in Maria Maggiore!” Many Maria Maggiore parishioners had complained to EOTT that there was a total absence of Eucharistic ministers at the Basilica on Sunday, causing people to wait an “unbearable” twenty to twenty-five minutes to receive Holy Communion. “It was more than I could take,” said one frustrated parishioner. “Usually there are about ten Eucharistic Ministers, but there was only two. For the first time in my life, I walked out of Mass before receiving Communion. I usually run right out after receiving, but since I was at the end of the long and only Communion line, I knew that the parking lot would be a zoo if I did not get out of there soon.” Pope Francis held a news conference today denying knowledge of the incident and promising that any of his aides involved in ordering Eucharistic Ministers at the Basilica to stay home from Mass would be dismissed. Vatican observers wonder if this ugly incident jeopardizes Francis’ chances to repeat as TIME magazine’s “Person of the Year” in 2014. “I am not a bully,” the Pope sadly told reporters. “I don’t know how I got that reputation. Maybe because I was once a bouncer? I don’t know.”

Continue Reading

5

Brrr!

Cold!

Well here in Central Illinois today it is -12.6 F with the high set to rocket up to -9 F.  Lots of blowing and drifting snow.  The courthouses and sheriffs’ offices are closed.  Go here to read the current weather conditions in my little town.  I will be using today to catch up on work at my office.  Normally I enjoy cold weather, no doubt attributable to my half Newfie blood, although I see they are up to a balmy 16 F today, so when I feel that it is too cold, as I do today, you know that it is too cold indeed! Continue Reading

5

PopeWatch: Year of Terror

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN––In his General Audience today, Pope Francis announced that he would be naming 2014 “the Year of Terror.” “Since it is difficult to balance the various challenges of the papacy, while finding time to decide what to call this upcoming year, I have decided that The Year of Terror best represents what we ought to be focusing on this upcoming year,” Francis said to the hundreds gathered in St. Peter’s Square. “Trust me, I wish we could have another Year of Faith, but I have been told we cannot do this. I brought up the idea of a Year of Faith 2.0, but unfortunately that did not fly. Nevertheless, I believe that we have reached the consensus that we should name the upcoming year for what it’s most certainly going to be.” His Holiness went on to explain how people were very scared of things going on in the world like crashing economies, Obamacare, and violence in Africa and the Middle East, just to name a few. “We thought it would be a good idea to get focus back on the Church and acknowledge the paralyzing fear that God’s people are suffering with.” Continue Reading

8

My Type of Brainwashed Morons

Bishop Folliot:  Do you think you can carry this off indefinitely you fool?

Archbishop Thomas Becket:  We are all God’s fools, My Lord.

From the play Becket

 

 

Hattip to Matt Archbold at Creative Minority Report.

From the only reliable source of news on the net, The Onion:

 

MACON, GA—Sources confirmed today that the brainwashed morons at First Baptist Assembly of Christ, all of whom blindly accept whatever simplistic fairy tales are fed to them, volunteer each Wednesday night to provide meals to impoverished members of the community. “Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in town who have fallen on hard times and are unable to afford to put food on the table, so we try to help out as best we can,” said 48-year-old Kerri Bellamy, one of the mindless sheep who adheres to a backward ideology and is incapable of thinking for herself, while spooning out homemade shepherd’s pie to a line of poor and homeless individuals. “It feels great to share our blessings with the less fortunate. Plus, it’s fun to work alongside all the members of our [corrupt institution of propaganda and lies] who come out each week.” As of press time, the brainless, unthinking lemmings had donated winter clothing they no longer wore to several needy families and still hadn’t opened their eyes to reality. Continue Reading

21

PopeWatch: Phil Robertson

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN–Just days after Pope Francis removed former La Crosse bishop Cardinal Raymond Burke from his seat on the Vatican’s Congregation for Bishops,  Francis today removed Phil Robertson, one of the stars of the A&E reality show Duck Dynasty and founder of Duck Commander, meaning the conservative patriarch of the “Robertson Clan” will lose his influential role in appointing bishops in the United States. Burke’s removal came soon after he said that Pope Francis’ comments suggesting that church teaching on matters such as abortion and gay marriage didn’t need to be repeated were, “not altogether easy to interpret” and went on to say that, “we can never talk enough about the defense of human life.” Many analysts are now suggesting that the Robertson’s removal was due in part to similar comments he recently made to GQ magazine criticizing homosexuality. Among the many of the explicit comments made, Robertson told GQ that “Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong… sin becomes fine. Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.  It’s not right.” The pope on Monday appointed Washington, D.C., Cardinal Donald Wuerl to the 18-member board to replace Burke and Robertson. Robertson, who was the consultant to the Congregation for Bishops, and seen by many in the Church as a conservative ally of Burke, will head back home to Louisiana. A spokesman for Robertson told EOTT that Robertson was sad to leave, and felt that both he and Burke were unfairly targeted for “preaching about the objective truths in the bible.” He went on to say that “In them cases where homo sex unions have been legally recognized or dun been given legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear ‘n emphatic opposition is a duty. We all gotta refrain from any kind of formal cooperation in the enactment or application of such gravely unjust laws and, as far as possible, from cooperation on the level of their application and things like that. In this area, everyone can exercise the right to conscientious objection.” Continue Reading

27

PopeWatch: Time Envy

 

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

 

 

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

VATICAN–Sources close to the Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI reported that the Holy Father has been silently obsessing over Time Magazine’s recent choice of Pope Francis as “Person of the Year.” ”He got up as usual this morning,” said one source, “said his morning prayers and celebrated Mass. Then he sat down to check Yahoo News with his morning tea, like he always does. When he saw…it…he just got really quiet for a long time. Then when he noticed I was looking, he smiled at me and said, ‘good for him.’ It was weird. He said that without really opening his mouth. Like his teeth were still together as he said it.” Pope Francis is the third Bishop of Rome to be named “Person of the Year” by TIME, following Pope John XXIII and Pope John Paul II. EOTT’s source reported that Benedict then made another visit to his private chapel, where he remained for a good 20 minutes. He emerged and sighed deeply before going back to the Yahoo News site, which he reportedly read and re-read several times, at one point muttering under his breath, “Really? Molly Cyrus?” ”When he finished reading all the comments and refreshing the page a couple times to make sure there weren’t any new ones, he looked for other news sites and did the same thing,” said the source. “After that he went to Amazon.com and started reading reviews of his ‘Jesus of Nazareth’ books. He seemed to feel better after that.” Continue Reading

1

And They Called the Problem Maria!

 

Hattip to Instapundit.  Matthew Belinke gives us a letter written by the Mother Superior of the future Maria von Trapp to her fellow Nuns about their errant novice:

 

 

So what can be done? I have been conducting frequent meetings on the subject with the most senior nuns, and a number of options have been proposed:

  • KICK HER OUT. Vetoed. These walls were not built to shut out problems; we have to face them.
  • FEED HER LESS. By limiting her rations, we may deny her the energy to do things like waltzing on the way to Mass or spinning around on mountaintops with her arms outstretched.
  • ADMINISTER FREQUENT, SAVAGE BEATINGS. I am shocked at the number of times this was suggested. For shame, sisters. I know it can be truly frustrating when she will not stay and listen to all you say, but we are nuns! Nuns!
  • LOAN HER OUT AS A NANNY TO AN ECCENTRIC NAVAL HERO. I don’t really understand this plan. How is this going to make her a better nun? If anything, I feel that putting her in close proximity to children will exacerbate her own childish tendencies.

Sisters: I will consider our course. In the meantime, let us pray for a solution to this seemingly insoluble problem of Maria. We must have faith that we can climb every mountain, ford every steam, follow every rainbow, ’til Maria either stops being so annoying or falls in love with someone and gets married. I sincerely hope that the time soon arrives when we can turn our attention to more pressing matters. For instance, I hear the Nazi Party is quite popular nowadays? Continue Reading

5

Greenpeace Lies About Santa!

Greenpeace has released the above video where an obviously fake Santa complains about global warming at the North Pole.  Rejoice children of all ages, the video is a lie:

 

The inconvenient truth is that planet Earth now has the equivalent of 330,000 Manhattans of Arctic ice, Steve Goddard notes in the blog Real Science. Even before the annual autumn re-freeze was scheduled to begin, he says, NASA satellite images showed an unbroken ice sheet more than half the size of Europe already stretched from the Canadian islands to Russia’s northern shores. No polar bears were seen drowning.

As the Daily Mail reports, “A chilly Arctic summer has left nearly a million more square miles of ocean covered with ice than at the same time last year — an increase of 60%.” The much-touted Northwest Passage from the Atlantic to the Pacific froze up and has remained blocked by pack ice all year. More than 20 yachts that had planned to sail it have been left ice-bound and a cruise ship attempting the route was forced to turn back. Continue Reading

3

Thanksgiving For Small Blessings

 

 

 

Each Thanksgiving I say grace for my family and thank God for His major blessings in our life, but what about the small blessings?  Here I make up for the lack:

1.    That William Shatner has not directed another Star Trek film.

2.    That the Pope has not yet condemned blogging as a complete waste of time.

3.    That I have never tasted tofu turkey.

4.    That President Obama did not attempt to do for car insurance what he has done for health insurance.

5.    That my bride likes my snoring. Continue Reading