PopeWatch: Hair Today

Saturday, March 5, AD 2016

5 Responses to PopeWatch: Hair Today

Future National Catholic Register Post: The Pope on Satan: Nine Things to Know and Share

Sunday, February 21, AD 2016




November 15, 2016


A furor has arisen regarding the Pope’s comment in an interview in his flight back to Rome that “Satan got a raw deal from God.”  Here are nine things to know and share:

  1. It is possible that a mistranslation occurred.  The colloquial Italian phrase that the Pope used for raw deal can also be understood to mean “distasteful deal”.
  2. The Holy Father may have been speaking humorously.  When Father Lombardi, Vatican spokesman was asked about this, he merely smiled, shrugged his shoulders and walked away.
  3. If the Pope was speaking seriously, perhaps he was intending to convey how Satan was looking at the situation.  Do not most sinners think they get a raw deal? Viewed from that vantage point, the Pope’s statement was correct, albeit incomplete.
  4. We must recall that this is the Year of Mercy and perhaps the Holy Father was attempting to say that God’s mercy extends even to Satan.
  5. The Vatican has denied that this statement constituted an all is forgiven message from the Pope to the Prince of Darkness
  6. This is not a reversal of the traditional teaching of the Church regarding Satan.  At most it is a minor development that the Pope may, or may not, expand upon.
  7. This statement was not made ex cathedra, but it must be treated with respect as Catholics must treat all statements of the Pope with respect.
  8. Islamic jihadists who are now calling Catholics devil worshipers are completely misinterpreting what the Pope said.
  9. I am not paid enough for doing this.



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17 Responses to Future National Catholic Register Post: The Pope on Satan: Nine Things to Know and Share

  • I dunno Don…you might have a bright future with NCR. You and the likes of Mr. Shea, a progressive new age quasi Catholic perspective! Go get the big bucks Donald! 🙂

  • Nine Things to Know and Share? With this pontificate it’s more like Nine Things to Grin and Bear!

  • The air crew on the pontifical flights should check the cabin pressure as it seems the Pope is not getting enough oxygen. If it is okay, then I humbly suggest a hefty dose of dramamine so that PF can sleep his way back to Vatican City.

  • And, as I am sure you know, Don, everyone in jail is innocent. 😉

  • They’re in jail because their damned lawyers screwed them over.

  • “They’re in jail because their damned lawyers screwed them over.”

    True. If their attorney wins the case, it was no great feat because they were innocent. If he loses the case it can only be because he was incompetent, corrupt, etc. Just ask any prisoner!

  • . Speaking of which, check Reuters tonight on the Pope calling for a worldwide ban on the death penalty. Here is one morsel: ” “The commandment “You shall not kill,” has absolute value and applies to both the innocent and the guilty,”
    Apparently his Bible doesn’t have the rest of the Pentateuch in which there are over 33 death penalties to the Jews from the same God who gave the fifth commandment….nor does his Bible have Gen.9:5-6 or Romans 13:4 which apply to gentiles and Jews at the governmental level. I like his heart…his mind is in chaos in certain areas of reality. He just left non death penalty Mexico whose murder rate is twenty times that of largely death penalty East Asia by UN figures.

  • Meanwhile, his frequent comments about the devil being real and being our enemy are one of the few areas where Pope Francis sometimes sounds more traditional than Pope Benedict.

    That said, there was a call on Fr Z’s blog for a nine hour novena to be prayed whenever Pope Francis gets on a plane with reporters. 😉

  • Bill, The Pope’s Bible seemingly is missing the part of Genesis wherein God commands that he who sheds man’s blood by man shall his blood be shed. Because man is made in God’s image.

  • T. Shaw,
    Yes…that’s Gen.9:5-6 which I mentioned and which a Cardinal quoted in the catechism in ccc #2260 in what I suspect was an effort to counter ccc #2267 by perhaps another Cardinal which says prisons suffice for protection now….a delusion refuted by Mexico, the second largest Catholic population.

  • It understandable why the Pope is devil friendly; they work together.

  • Fantastic.
    Nine things to share reminded me Jimmy Akin. He is trying his best these days.

  • This is not satire-this is dialogue with the devil: Cardinal Ravasi calls for Dialogue with Freemasonry . . .Cari Fratelli Massoni. Thier patron, the Light Bearer, Lucifer

  • November 15, 2016, why is this dated as printed?

  • It’s a future National Catholic Register Post.

  • “And there was given to him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given to him to do two and forty months.” That would put it at September, 2016. Maybe we will have another pope by November.

2 Responses to Hey! The End of the World is Today!

  • The end of the world?

    Heard all over America; “I just tore up my tax returns….and I changed my underwear Mom, wherever you are.”

  • End of the world… yesterday?

    Rats. I missed it.
    Have to wait until Hellery enters office.
    Truly the end of the civilized world will commence if she wins.

PopeWatch: Pope Michael

Saturday, February 13, AD 2016



From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:



The Vatican has announced that Pope Francis will visit Kansas in July to commemorate the 26th anniversary of Pope Michael’s election to the papacy, just months before visiting Sweden to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation.

During the July 16th trip to Kansas, Francis will take part in a joint prayer service with the conclavist community, the Vatican reported earlier this week.

Word of the visit to Kansas was reported Monday, after Francis learned that Michael would not be able to make it to Rome for what the Vatican was calling, “Remorsapalooza.”

The announcement was made during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, where Francis asked forgiveness “for the sins of our divisions that were, one hundred percent of the time, caused by the Church.”

“It’s all our fault,” Francis told leaders from the Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, and atheist communities. “To the Muslim community, I ask forgiveness for beginning the crusades. To our protestant brethren, we ask forgiveness for everything we did to cause the Reformation. And we ask forgiveness to our Jewish brethren for everything that happened to your community in consequence of the crucifixion. Definitely our fault.”

Francis went on to admit that every bad thing that had ever happened in the history of man, even those that took place before Christianity “was the fault of the Catholic Church,” before going on to lash himself for the Church’s sins for nearly three hours.

“We cannot erase what happened before, but we do not want to allow the weight of past wounds to continue to contaminate our relations,” Francis said at Rome’s Basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls. “Therefore, I offer St. Paul Outside the Walls to Pope Michael and all the tens of people that he shepherds.”


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One Response to PopeWatch: Pope Michael

  • Vatican insiders whisper to each other, that Francis fooled them all by keeping his fingers crossed during the entire apology. it’s an old Jesuit training trick.

Larry D Summarizes His Experiences at Patheos

Wednesday, February 3, AD 2016

Trek 1



Trek 2

Trek 3


Larry D, who blogs at Acts of the Apostasy, one of the most intentionally funny Catholic websites not named Eye of the Tiber, summarizes in Trek Speak his parting of the ways with Patheos, or, as he calls it, The Blorg.  Go here to read all about it.  When it comes to Patheos, Catholic bloggers need the spirit of Commander Eddington:

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9 Responses to Larry D Summarizes His Experiences at Patheos

Bear Growls: Pope and Bears

Sunday, January 31, AD 2016


Bear Blogging


Our bruin friend at Saint Corbinian’s Bear looks at papal interaction with a “bear”:


According to this report from Eye of the Tiber, Pope Francis granted a private audience with the celebrity Bear from the motion picture, “The Revenant.” Many have written to the Bear asking for a statement.

First of all, this so-called “Bear” is fake. That’s right. According to Variety, the bear is CGI.

The Bear wishes to make it perfectly clear that he is not bothered by some fake bear being a celebrity, while the Bear labors in obscurity. At least he knows he’s the real thing. Does Pope Emeritus Benedict’s coat of arms have some anonymous, fake, CGI bear on them? No. They unmistakably have St. Corbinian’s Bear, complete with pack. So, now who’s famous, Mr. Fake CGI imaginary bear?

So what to make of the Pope’s pitiful propaganda effort to convince the world that he is on good terms with Bears? Clearly, the Bear has gotten under his skin. He knows the growing popularity of the Bear is a threat to his Jesuitical plots. So His Holiness is trying to neutralize the Bear.

Here is the truth. The only Bears that are behind the Pope are South American Spectacled Bears, and Polar Bears, who are working the global warming scam for all its worth by swimming out to tiny ice features and hoping somebody takes their picture.

My friends, long after this so-called “bear” has been buried in the graveyard of forgotten CGI animals,  like that tiger from Life of Pi, or the 50 rampaging mammoths from 10,000 B.C., the Bear will still be writing his ephemeris, growing his audience, scrutinizing the Vatican like Bernardo Gui on methylphenidate. If a freelance Bear inquisitor high on speed doesn’t scare you, nothing will.

There’s only one place to find the real Bear. It’s right here, friends. Thank you for your continued support.

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2 Responses to Bear Growls: Pope and Bears

  • Of course, CGI bears are fake! They don’t even s@&t in the woods! And what real bear doesn’t like to leave something soft and warm for nature loving hikers, especially those who left wing loons who perpetuate the global warming (I mean Climate Change) scam, to step in?

  • Nice picture, but it is of a mere black bear. The Bear is a magnificent brown bear, ursus arctos. But still, funny. Having seen the bear movie now, it is like if Luke Skywalker had been killed by Imperial Stormtroopers ten minutes in followed by three hours of watching Jawas scavenging junk. The famous bear fight was highly contrived and it was clear that the writers were determined to have Leonardo di Caprio survive for some reason. Bear did not get it at all, and snored through much of it after the main character was killed off. Not worth having to sit through trailers for Michael Moore’s new movie and some “let’s kill all the evil Confederates” feel good movie with Matthew McConaughey.

The Creed as Currently Understood

Sunday, December 20, AD 2015


Elliot Bougis at FideCogitActio has drafted a new Creed for the Age of Francis:


The Nicercene Creed

I [want to] believe in one God,
the Father [pretty much] almighty,
[evolutionary] maker of heaven and earth,
of [I guess] all things visible and invisible.

I [recognize that Christians prefer to] believe in one Lord Jesus Christ,
the [not necessarily] Only Begotten Son of God,
born [of the early Christian consciousness] of the Father before all ages.
God [or guru] from God, Light [or role model] from Light,
true God [among others] from true God,
begotten, not [entirely] made [up], [perhaps] consubstantial with the Father;
through him [or her] all things were made [unless you find that problematic].
For us men [and women and pets and rain forests] and for our salvation [or mere consideration]
he [claimed that he] came down from heaven,
and by [what we’ll generously agree to call] the Holy Spirit was incarnate [in Christian discourse] of the [putatively] Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was [allegedly] crucified under Pontius Pilate,
he suffered death [as befits any false Jewish prophet] and was buried,
and [according to Christians, at least,] rose again on the third day
in accordance with the [passages of the] Scriptures [that don’t offend Jews].
He [was memorialized as having] ascended into heaven
and is [best depicted in classical art as being] seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory [as the long-expected Jewish Messiah and in Muhammad’s train]
to [non-judgmentally] judge the living and the dead [who are already in Heaven if they were good at their own religion or even irreligion]
and his kingdom [among multiple other kingdoms] will [most likely] have no end.

[Oh, yeah, and] I believe in the Holy Spirit, the [Christian] Lord, the giver of life [and of circumcision],
who proceeds from [what Christians refer to as] the [“]Father[“] and the [“]Son[“],
who with [or perhaps without] the [“]Father[“] and the [“]Son[“] is adored and glorified [solely by Christians],
who has spoken [of a still-promised Jewish Messiah] through the [interreligiously sanitized] prophets.

I [am, I guess, willing to] believe in [at least] one, [generally] holy, catholic [but not Roman Catholic] and apostolic [but not anti-Judaic] Church.
I [don’t mind if others] confess one Baptism [or circumcision or lifetime of pagan piety] for the forgiveness of sins [if such there be]
and I look forward to the resurrection [or at least recollection] of the dead
and the life[style] of the [religiously pluralistic] world to come.

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20 Responses to The Creed as Currently Understood

  • Indeed.

    The Bear was thinking how much of Catholicism is up in the air after just a couple of years of Pope Francis. And not just minor stuff. So much that we had known, it seems, forever, is now a mystery. Is at least a passing acquaintance with Jesus Christ still necessary for salvation? Does anyone go to Hell? Are our personal sins taken care of by mercy or by confession, and, if the latter, what is all this business about mercy? Isn’t the sacrament of penance mercy? Is Jesus Christ actually there under the appearance of bread and wine, or is it just “a little bread and wine do no harm?” when a divorced and remarried Catholic wants to take communion. Are Lutherans welcome to receive communion? Anyone, so long as it’s okay in the inner forum of their conscience?

    Pope Francis hasn’t tinkered with doctrine like an ordinary humble reformer who realizes everyone else has always had everything wrong. Pope Francis drains the meaning from all doctrine and replaces it with whatever WWJD experience he is having the moment he steps in front of a microphone.

  • Considering what the Bear wrote, I think Pope Francis is mentally diseased. This Creed up above is what liberals believe and liberalism is a mental disease and Pope Francis is a liberal.

  • Some once told me that an orthodox person must believe in 10 of the 12 articles in the Apostles Creed.

    Now I think it is down to 8 or 9.

  • One recalls Mgr Ronald Knox
    “When suave Politeness, temp’ring bigot Zeal,
    Corrected, ‘ I believe,’ to ‘One does feel.’”
    Not to mention,
    “Gifted as if with Tongues, were there but wit
    Among his Audience to interpret it…”

  • The Bear is correct. And it would not be overstating it to say Pope Francis is the biggest Black Sheep in Church history or perhaps any history. Millions are being led astray.

  • God bless Ronald Knox- just reading another book of his- “the Hidden Stream” I hope he is praying for us.

  • You know, seriously, it makes it harder to lead RCIA right now. Our job is to teach/ discuss what the Catholic Church teaches. Our thoughtful catechumens have lots of questions.

  • For what is man if he does not have a creed to believe in. We all have them and some of us believe that the only true creed is that which is contained within the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. Thanks Be To God. A man without a creed is just a shell. Even “self” is a creed for the narcissists.

  • It is this sort of thing that makes it impossible to satire a website calling itself “The American Catholic”.

  • Howard, not writing in non sequiturs constantly would save you so much time when you are fumblingly attempting to make a point.

  • 🙂 Howard and Donald Those of us who struggle against writing non sequiturs know that it is only a non sequitur to the reader because we have failed to explain our mental sequitur!
    Merry Christmas to all my friends at TAC. What a wonderful gathering place for thought provoking conversation. God bless us everyone.

  • Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Anzlyne!

  • Donald R. McClarey: Get some real education before you try using Latin words. My response was to this statement: “Ah, to live in a pontificate where satire has a difficult time keeping up with headlines!” You are just some jackass with a blog; just one of millions of jackasses with blogs and all the wit of a fifth-grader. You claim to have a J.D., so it is no great surprise you are a jackass, but your claim to be Catholic is FAR more dubious. This little piece of crap you have written does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD. Are there problems in the Church? Yes. Did Pope Francis create these? Not the ones you’re complaining about. Just because you have access to a computer does not elevate your throne above that of the Pope; to put it in plain Anglo-Saxon, you are still the same little shit you were at age 10. All you are doing is making waves in the hope that others on the short bus will egg you on. They already have; your pride is appeased.

    I do not like to use language like this, but it is the only hope of penetrating the thick crust of pompous self-righteousness you have grown around yourself.

  • over and over, small minds attack the Holy Father. they seem absolutely incapable of considering that it might be their own ignorance ore pride that prevents them from accepting the Holy Father’s guidance.

  • “Accept the Holy Father’s guidance”??????
    This Occupier of the Seat of St Peter:
    Has displayed on St Peter’s Basilica a pagan animalistic light shown of blasphemous proportion
    Has appointed every godless liberal pervert he can to the episcopacy.
    Tried to get communion for adulterers sanctified at the recent Synod on the Family.
    Issued an encyclical touting the false gospel of global warming and the advocacy of a socialist world structure.
    Taken advice and direction from homosexual sodomite activists while demeaning, deriding and ridiculing orthodox traditionalists.
    This Argentinian Peronist Marxist is to the Catholic Faith what that Occupier of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is to the United States of America. I have never been so disgusted, so ashamed, so infuriated in all my life. To see both my Church and my Country go down the tubes of godless freaking liberal progressivism is intolerable. I oppose it, and however weak and pitiful my feeble efforts may be, I will fight against it till I die. No to this Pope and no to this President.

  • Howard, thank you for demonstrating the utility of banning trolls from this blog. Trolls are usually merely filled with ire and have nothing to contribute but spittle and insults. Once upon a time you made a few interesting comments on this blog. However, the personal antipathy you seem to possess for me, someone you have never met, has reduced you to trolldom. We will soldier on without you.

  • uh, just for the record, the Bear can satirize anything, including this blog. “March 22 — Braxton Bragg’s Birthday…” The Bear could go on, but fears someone would take it seriously and become offended 😉

  • Bhttp://www.catholicstand.com/becket-sin-contrition/

  • Pingback: Guess What I Found In My Parish Library, Mideast Christians Deserve U.S. Refuge, and Much More! | The Guadalupe Radio Network

PopeWatch: Screen Saver

Saturday, December 12, AD 2015



From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:


An illuminated projection of the Microsoft Office Bubbles theme onto the facade of St. Peter’s on Tuesday evening drew large crowds as the new basilica screen saver appeared, notifying the faithful that the basilica had not been in use for 10 minutes.

The decision to use the new screensaver was made by Senior Vatican Security official Claudio Aquila who said that it was the Vatican’s duty to protect St. Peter’s from terrorists attempting to infiltrate the basilica.

“We can no longer trust that simple security measure such as more guards will keep the basilica safe,” Aquila told EOTT this morning. “Now, even if a terrorist somehow gets through security, they will not be able to enter the church without first entering a password.”

Critics say that the new measures are bothersome, especially since security officials are mandating that all employees of the Vatican change their password every first Friday of the month.

“Just this morning I left work for just fifteen to get an espresso, and when I got back, it was locked,” said one opponent of the new screensaver. “I had forgotten the password, so I was forced to sit there for ten minutes guessing it. In the end, I had to call technical support to help me reset my personal passcode. I changed it to Screw_the///environment79. Please don’t publish that.”

At press time, Vatican officials are toying with changing the bubbles screensaver with that cool one with the bungalow on the water somewhere in Bali where you wish you were, but can’t because your job pays you crap.

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2 Responses to PopeWatch: Screen Saver

  • I suspect this same technique was used by Michelangelo to flash his paint-by-the-number images on the Sistine Chapel. If you look very carefully, you can find the Microsoft logo in the portals of Hades right next to Waldo.

  • Don L.

    Thanks for the chuckle. Great line!
    “…you can find the Microsoft logo in the portals of Hades right next to Waldo.”
    My coffee tastes better now!

PopeWatch: Sheep Dip

Saturday, November 14, AD 2015



From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

A new terrorist video put out today by Starbucks shows the latest batch of Christmas killers being trained by the terror group called “Barista.”

The 9-minute propaganda video released by Starbucks shows masked trainees wielding non-festive red cups and making inflammatory remarks such as “Happy Holidays” in an unknown location in Seattle, Washington.

The chilling video of green-clad barista terrorists standing behind a counter serving paying hostages moments before serving them Gingerbread Lattes in red cups with no mention of Christmas on them is being called one of the most terrifying images of our times.

In the video, the barista terrorists are seen smiling as they clearly undermine the saving power of Christ. The paying hostages are forced to pay for lattes and frappuccinos as a tattooed barista announces, “Thank you…have a great day,” without once mentioning Christmas. The paying hostages, who apparently chose to become hostages, are then given a chilling smile before each is forced to wait for their drink to arrive. The 9 minute-long propaganda video goes on to show terrified hostages receiving their drinks in little red cups that neither mention Christmas or Holidays.

In another part of the video, a barista is heard asking whether the hostage would like a receipt, instead of reciting the Nativity narrative from the Bible word-for-word to the hostage as is done in more civilized parts of the world.

“This is perhaps one of the most sickening videos I’ve ever seen,” said Christian pastor Thomas Hayes who was once a hostage himself. “I believe these barista terrorists are trying to send a clear message: “If you’re going to enjoy a warm latte on a cold winter evening, you’re going to have to convert to corporate paganism.”

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4 Responses to PopeWatch: Sheep Dip

  • Maybe if we changed our public greetings from “Merry Christmas,” to “Have a blessed Christmas” it’ll really blow their secular souls? But, then they’ll start serving their coffee more honestly in black cups with flashing red flames on the sides.

  • yup Popewatch- the price of the offending coffee should be given to the poor. “Happy Holidays” indeed. Next you know they will have their barista serving coffee wearing one of those secular Santa elf hats– looks very Phrygian

  • Pope Francis got the message right away. It was all about the coffee; the birth of Christ is beside the point.

  • Holy Scripture, Batman! At Mass this morning, a lay person read a statement setting forth the Christmas season Social Justice War strategy. She read that Jesus said (something to the effect that) as long as some have more than others . . .
    Providentially, I was able to stifle my typical utterance, “Where the Hell did she get that?”

PopeWatch: Beanie Babies

Saturday, November 7, AD 2015



From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:


The Vatican’s leaks scandal intensified Tuesday after a book detailing the millions of euros Vatican officials used to purchase Beanie Babies and in-app Clash of Clans upgrades was published.

Although “Merchants in the Temple,” by journalist Roberto Nuzzi is due out Thursday, EOTT was able to obtain an advance copy. Its publication comes just days after the Vatican announced the arrests of two high-ranking officials who reportedly spent close to € 157,000 on pogs.

The arrests of the Vatican officials marks a new chapter in what many are calling “Vatileaks,” which began in 2012 and peaked with the conviction of Pope Benedict XVI’s butler on charges he spent upwards of 3.7 million euros on Super Soakers, Tickle Me Elmos, and Slap Bracelets.

After Benedict retired, Francis was elected with a mandate from his fellow cardinals to reform the Vatican bureaucracy and clean up its finances. He set out to create a commission of experts to gather information from all Vatican offices to see where the money was going.

“Holy Father…there is a complete absence of transparency in the bookkeeping both of the Holy See and the Governorate,” five auditors wrote Francis in 2013, according to Nuzzi’s book. “Costs are out of control and it is quite difficult to meet with anyone, due to the fact that many in the Vatican are often too busy playing Candy Crush.”

It goes on to mention that Vatican officials had spent all of 2014’s Peter’s Pence money in just over two months on Clash of Clans gem upgrades.

“Every day I walk the streets of Rome and see the homeless and other citizens of this city,” one anonymous Vatican official told EOTT. “Not on purpose…I mean I’m not trying to see them. I’d rather not see them, but since the homeless and other Romans are there walking, I am often forced to look up so I do not trip, but when I look up, I begin to lose in Clash of Clans. When I lose, I need to spend more money on the app. Since it is typically the fault of a drunk homeless man bumping into me on my way to work, then it should be the homeless man that pays for the in-app purchase. But they have no money, so I simply take it from Peter’s Pence. And like that, we are even. It all makes sense now?”

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3 Responses to PopeWatch: Beanie Babies

PopeWatch: Futbol

Saturday, October 31, AD 2015



From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:


A source close to Pope Francis this week reported to the media that His Holiness met privately in Washington last week with Tom Brady, the quarterback in New England who defied an NFL order to not deflate balls and cheat during games.

Senior Vatican officials initially did not confirm that the meeting had occurred until Wednesday afternoon, though they refused to discuss any of the details.

Mr. Brady, the star quarterback in Foxborough, Massachusetts, has been at the center of a nationwide controversy over whether quarterbacks of private football franchises have a legal right to deflate footballs used during NFL games.

On Tuesday night, Brady’s lawyer, Benjamin D. Alexander, said that Mr. Brady was sneaked into the Vatican Embassy by car on Thursday afternoon. Francis gave Brady his rosary and told him to “stay strong,” the lawyer said. Brady met for about 15 minutes with the pope, who was accompanied by security guards and aides.

“I put my hand out and he reached and grabbed the football I was spinning in my hand, and I hugged him and he hugged me,” Brady said Wednesday in an interview with EOTT. “He thanked me for my courage, then began to deflate the football. We both started laughing and we high-fived.”

“I had tears coming out of my eyes,” Brady went on to say. “I’m kind of a big deal, so it was really humbling for him to think I would want to meet or know him. It made me feel good to do something like that for somebody who’s not as good looking as I am.”

For the most part, Francis avoided any inflammatory talk about NFL controversies during his U.S. trip, and early in his papacy even signaled a tolerant attitude about cheaters with his now famous comment, “Who am I to deflate?” In his final Mass in Philadelphia just hours before his departure back to Rome, Francis said that God is revealed through the “covenant of one man and one ball.”

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6 Responses to PopeWatch: Futbol

An E-Mail Going Around Catholic Theological Circles

Friday, October 30, AD 2015



Colleagues, it is time for us to take a stand.  It has come to our attention that some of our members have come under attack from a group of right-wing Catholics who have no academic credentials:  not a theological degree among them.  As far as we can tell, none of them are even college graduates.  They are all white (of course) and all male (of course).  Some of them have produced texts that have been used against our fellow Catholic academics, often resulting in cries of heresy being raised by people who share their narrow, blinkered view of Catholicism.  This is intolerable in the twenty-first century for brilliant scholars to be held to account by ignorant yahoos.  We therefore ask you to append your names to the attached open letter and e-mail it back to us for future publication.  United, we can prevail over this assault of anti-intellectualism masquerading as Catholicism!

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37 Responses to An E-Mail Going Around Catholic Theological Circles

  • Time for the Schism?

    These self-inflated, egotistical buffoons would not know mercy if they experienced it!

  • 27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself.

    Who does this Paul character think he is anyway?

    As for the letter, it is to laugh. Maureen Dowd writes about the Church all the time, where’s the letter citing her lack of a degree in theology?

  • It is amazing that this James Martin can condemn his critics for not having a theological degree when most the the disciples of Christ were themselves unlearned men.

  • “Colleagues, . . . . United, we can prevail over this assault of anti-intellectualism masquerading as Catholicism!”

    I can’t tell if that’s satire or not.

  • Credentials! I don’t need no stinking credentials.
    I can discern errata in post-modern heterodox opinions and rank speculations, which lack Scriptural or Magisterial bases.

  • Sounds like the result of bad potty training ,

  • Heresy is a serious charge. And if the shoe fits, you need to wear it.

    “Hater” on the other hand is an unserious charge. When Fr. Martin results to categories employed by Taylor Swift, he proves how lightly we should take his protests.

  • The opinions of theologians outside their own area of expertise, like those of scientists, are entitled to no particular respect.

    When they talk about the D, E, J and P sources in the Pentateuch, the priority of Mark, the authorship of the Pastorals or the Comma Johanneum, the speak as experts on topics where an non-expert’s opinion is worthless. But on political and ethical questions, their erudition gives them no special advantage.

    Indeed, it is remarkable how seldom they apply those talents that made them first-class palaeographers, textual critics or comparative philologists – assiduity and minute and painstaking accuracy – to questions that lie outside their own field.

  • “I agree with this letter[.] Heresy is a grave charge.”

    Unlike hate I suppose. Or suggesting Cardinal Burke is a schismatic, for that matter.

  • “When Fr. Martin results to categories employed by Taylor Swift, he proves how lightly we should take his protests.”

    Now I wish I had said that.

  • “Sounds like the result of bad potty training.”
    Hank, when I read that comment of yours, I laughed so hard
    I frightened the dog. As for Fr. Martin, perhaps he could
    remind us where St Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church,
    got her theology degree?

  • Michael P-S I love you like a rock but I’m sticking to my autodidact opinion on JDEP junque hypothesis. 🙂

  • Saint Tarcisius pray for us.

    “Anxious to view the Christian mysteries, the Mob turned upon young Tarcisius with fury,He went down under the blows and it is believed that a fellow Christian drove off the Mob to rescue the young acolyte.”

    The boy died on his way back to the catacombs.

    Why is this relevant?

    Because a boy of twelve in the third century had more respect and love for God and neighbor than many so-called learned men of theology of today. This boy paid the price with his life. Learn from him Fr. M.

  • What kind of commie leftist is this guy, Martin.
    When one smears his opponent one should do it right.
    Just defining one’s opponent as a hateful person isn’t enough.
    There is the racist, misogynistic, homophobic smear or the
    truther or birther or conspiracy theorist smear or returning
    to the evil bigoted ‘50s smear, or the climate change deniers
    smear. And the ultimate smear used by every fanatical
    commie leftist, the Nazi and KKK smear. This Jacobin is
    arguing to replace the truth with intellectualism.

    Was watching Raymond Arroyo this evening with Cardinal
    Wuerl who explained the synod’s approach to divorce and
    remarried Catholics. Of course the teachings of the Church
    will not change, nor will the statements made by God on the
    indissolubility of marriage. However, the approach to Catholics
    in difficult situations by the Church will be change. They
    must be brought to God’s love and mercy where a solution
    to their difficulties can be achieved (no mention of repentance)
    God’s love is free and for all. Everyone has a right to God’s love
    and mercy. Or in other words everyone has a right to the sacraments
    no matter the difficulties they may find themselves in. So Wuerl
    is saying a Catholic living in sin can receive Communion, because
    his has a right to God’s love and mercy. Yet somehow this will not
    alter the teachings of the Church.

  • The story goes as such.

    So the bridge fell into the river bed.

    The local peasants reported this to the capital.

    The Engineers in said “what do a bunch of peasants know” and made no effort to fix it.

    The local governor sent a protest to the capitol, You idiots, “a bunch of peasants” may not know how to rebuild it; but hey are perfectly qualified to say it is in the river”.

    Some of the blogger is question may not know how to put the truth kn proper academic form – but they certainly know enough to recognize heresy when they see or hear it.

  • What ?! from the letter signed by catholics and academics ” … We therefore urge all Catholics to reject these men: Simon (who is called Peter), his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; and Simon the Zealot. There is also a Saul who goes under the alias of Paul. Too many Catholics read what these men have written, and, ignorant of the latest Catholic … ”
    There’ s inclusiveness in the short piece for the above signers. ‘h’ is for humor, too.

  • Patricia.

    Good find!
    Thanks for the link. 🙂

  • “Heresy is a serious charge.”

    Yup, but it’s an even far more serious behavior.

  • Check out Ann Barnhardt on Fr. James Martin below. Pope Francis should defrock him immediately. Maybe someone will start a petition asking the Pope to take care of this.


  • Arrogant, haughty, conceited, elitist….. aka Liberal.

  • Poor, Ann. She is so meek.

  • “Poor, Ann. She is so meek.”

    There does come a point when even Christ “loses it” and cleans our the temple area of vermin.

  • Karl.

    Meek Ann, the “call ’em like you see ’em,” Catholic. As for me, I like her. Her distaste for fraudulent speakers of TRUTH is not a hindrance to her spirit, rather a complementary asset in this, a cloud of witnesses we call the body of Christ.
    Mercy is lost enabling the disordered soul.
    Clear teaching and abstinence from sinful actions is Mercy.

  • “Check out Ann Barnhardt on Fr. James Martin below. Pope Francis should defrock him immediately. Maybe someone will start a petition asking the Pope to take care of this.”


    Where has this woman been all my life?!? This is freaking awesome!

    It is best she not reveal where she lives–the LGBT Mafia would put a contract out on her.

  • That should read “Douthat.” Autocorrect strikes.

  • Thanks Phillip.
    I made a comment on Ross’s rebuttal:

    Michael Dowd Venicel

    Ross is right! It is common sense and not liberal academic mumbo-jumbo designed to obscure the truth. Of course, liberal academics unfortunately no longer can even recognize the truth. Pity.

  • “2 + 2 = 4.” Excuse me, but you cannot say that publicly unless you have at least an MA in Math. And not just an MA-you also have to be on the approved list of progressive mathematicians. Without doubt, whether or not you have a BA. MA, Or PhD in theology, you can know and understand heresy when you hear it and see it. Tell a believing Catholic sophomore at a truly Catholic university that “Jesus is not divine,” and they will know you are a heretic – even without completing a degree. Thomas Aquinas said that he who says fornication is not a sin is a heretic. These current “mercy bullies” who say Jesus got it wrong, St. Paul writing the inspired words of God got it wrong, and they – bless their hearts, flaunting degrees like a modern-day inquisition-have it right when they say “Go and sin on more” – these who call themselves “theologians” are heretics. Note: 1 Cor 6:9 includes “men who have sex with men”. Guy McClung, San Antonio, Texas


    Thus, God forbids adultery both to men and women. Now, it must be known that, although some believe that adultery is a sin, yet they do not believe that simple fornication is a mortal sin. Against them stand the words of St. Paul: “For fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” And: “Do not err: neither fornicators, . . . nor adulterers, nor the effeminate, nor liers with mankind shall possess the kingdom of God.”[12] But one is not excluded from the kingdom of God except by mortal sin; therefore, fornication is a mortal sin.

    But one might say that there is no reason why fornication should be a mortal sin, since the body of the wife is not given, as in adultery. I say,however, if the body of the wife is not given, nevertheless, there is given the body of Christ which was given to the husband when he was sanctified in Baptism. If, then, one must not betray his wife, with much more reason must he not be unfaithful to Christ: “Know you not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them the members of a harlot? God forbid!”[13] It is heretical to say that fornication is not a mortal sin.”

  • Guy McClung.

    Mercy bullies…spot on description!

    Hell is a fabrication of ancient writers… at least that’s what they must believe, these mercy bullies. If they only realized that the doctrine of hell is real, they might “straighten up and fly right.”

  • Pingback: Letter by Ross Douthat to the Catholic Academy - Big Pulpit
  • An inside look at our theologians. Not pretty:


    But the money quote to counter Fr. Martin is near the beginning:

    “All believing Catholics who seek to understand what it is they believe are Catholic theologians, which means that Ross Douthat is a Catholic theologian.”

  • “Nooooobody expects the Theological Inquisition!!!”

  • Philip-And one of those “ancient writers” they are correcting happens to be . . .drum roll, angels bow, devils cringe, . . .God Himself!

  • Am I wrong in thinking that the U. S. bishops are mistaken in their interpreting of the motto they are using for supporting “comprehensive immigration reform” – Mt 25; 35? “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me.”

    See the following footnote in my Catholic bible, The New American Bible 1989-1990 Edition, from which the bishops’ quote comes from.

    “Mt. 25; 31-46 : The conclusion of the discourse, which is peculiar to Mt, portrays the final judgment that will accompany the parousia. Although often called a ‘parable,’ it is not really such, for the only parabolic elements are the depiction of the ‘Son of Man’ as ‘a shepherd’ and of ‘the righteous’ and the wicked as ‘sheep and goats’ respectively (32-33). The criterion of judgment will be the deeds of mercy that have been done for the ‘least of Jesus’ ‘brothers’ (40). A DIFFICULT AND IMPORTANT QUESTION IS THE IDENTIFICATION OF THESE ‘LEAST BROTHERS.’ ARE THEY ALL PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUFFERED HUNGER, THIRST, ETC. (35,36) OR A PARTICULAR GROUP OF SUCH SUFFERERS? (my emphasis) Scholars are divided in their response and arguments can be made for either side. BUT leaving aside the problem of what the traditional material that Mathew edited may have meant, IT SEEMS THAT A STRONGER CASE CAN BE MADE FOR THE VIEW THAT IN THE EVANGELIST’S SENSE THE SUFFERS ARE CHRISTIANS; PROBABLY CHRISTIAN MISSIONARIES WHOSE SUFFERINGS WERE BROUGHT UPON THEM BY THEIR PREACHING OF THE GOSPEL. THE CRITERION OF JUDGMENT FOR ‘ALL THE NATIONS’ IS THEIR TREATMENT OF THOSE WHO HAVE BORNE TO THE WORLD THE MESSAGE OF JESUS, AND THIS MEANS ULTIMATELY THEIR ACCEPTANCE OR REJECTION OF JESUS HIM SELF; cf10, 40, ‘WHOEVER RECEIVES YOU, RECEIVES ME.'” (my emphasis. Phrases set off by ‘ marks were words italicized in the footnote.

    “Illegal aliens,” their legal name in the law, are not Christian missionaries coming to spread the word of God. How in the world could the bishops be so wrong in using that bible verse on this issue? And why?

    I think one of several other biblical supports for the footnote interpretation above besides the one given (Mt. 10, 40) is Lk. Chapter 10 – “The Mission of the Seventy-two.” Lk 10; 1: “After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others whom he sent ahead of him in pairs to every town and place he intended to visit. v4 Carry no money bag, no sack, no sandals; and greet no one along the way. v5. Into whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this household.” v6 If a peaceful person lives there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you. v7 Stay in the same house and eat and drink what is offered to you….” Jesus sent out 72 in pairs telling them to take no supplies with them, therefore depending on people in places Jesus sent them to, to show care for their coming to witness to them, care they give in response to God’s touching them.

  • I’m all in favor of feeding and clothing illegals until we deport them back from whence they came.

4 Responses to Preach it, Mr. Hope!

  • Democrats seem to come in four varieties nowadays: those for whom it is an identity affiliation, but not one which gets their juices flowing because they do not really follow public affairs; those who have a fundamentally sentimental or silly attachment to one or another nostrum or posture and who make a habit of not thinking anything through, those who constitute something of a contempt group (if not hate group) whose entire advocacy is a set of postures and status games; a few wonks like Mark Kleiman; and a few reasonably pleasant old men like Mark Shields. Most of the crew attempting to make a name for themselves as commentators are type 3.

  • I always thought that Democrats were people who felt that anything that got their panties should be national policy .

  • I intend to share that video with all my Democrat acquaintances (as a matter of policy I have no Democrat friends – one doesn’t befriend baby murderers and sodomy sanctifiers).

  • “Democrats seem to come in four varieties nowadays: those for whom it is an identity affiliation, but not one which gets their juices flowing because they do not really follow public affairs; those who have a fundamentally sentimental or silly attachment to one or another nostrum or posture and who make a habit of not thinking anything through, those who constitute something of a contempt group (if not hate group) whose entire advocacy is a set of postures and status games; a few wonks like Mark Kleiman; and a few reasonably pleasant old men like Mark Shields. Most of the crew attempting to make a name for themselves as commentators are type 3.”

    Where do those who think they are entitled to the money made by the sweat of other citizen’s brows fit in?

PopeWatch: The Center Cannot Hold

Saturday, October 24, AD 2015





From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:



Just days after Pope Francis called for a “healthy decentralization” of power in the Catholic Church, Bishops at the Synod have now announced that they are calling for a “healthy decentralization” of power in their dioceses, giving more decision-making authority for local pastors.

The bishops made their comments at a ceremony marking the 50th anniversary of the founding of the Synod of Bishops, a worldwide gathering of bishops that occasionally does something worthwhile.

Cardinal Walter Kasper told those gathered that the type of collegiality envisioned by the Second Vatican Council still had not been achieved, and that it was not too late for pastors themselves to decentralize their own authority, and to give more decision-making authority to their parishioners.

“Pastors and even parishioners should have more authority to make decisions affecting themselves rather than always looking to the Catechism of the Catholic Church or Canon Law for a centralized decision that has to fit all,” he said.

Local pastor Fr. Devin Hayes told parishioners after reading an email from his bishop about the decentralization that he “had to take action immediately.”

“I feel the need to move ahead with a healthy decentralization of our parish and to allow every parishioner his or her own authority to make decisions so you don’t always have to look to me for an answer,” Hayes wrote on the parish website. “Do what you will, knowing in full confidence that your own conscience is your Vatican. I hereby elect every one of you Pope. Habemus A Lot Of Papam, or whatever the plural is for papam.”

As the synod enters its final days, bishops will produce a final paper that the pope may use to write his own authoritative document on the issues, wherein Francis will reportedly remind bishops that they can ignore the letter altogether if they wish because of the decentralization of authority.

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4 Responses to PopeWatch: The Center Cannot Hold

  • Obviously this is but a frail lukewarm attempt at decentralization (that anti-hierarchal impulse) and needs to be cleaned up.
    I would recommend they go much further away from Roman authoritarianism by moving a lot of that authority into the skilled hands of the young male and female alter-servers, also, any ushers, who by merit of longevity, (10 years or longer collecting) will receive the same honors.
    Diversity is heavenly!

  • That really made me laugh! Habemus a lot of papam! And we don’t have to treat Francis’ document as authoritative! …because

  • for some reason the words “2nd law of thermodynamics” come to mind as I read early reports from Rome. I may become dependent upon the laughter provided by EOTT.

    Entropy will either increase or remain the same– there is really no going back. One cannot unsay what has been said. or grab back from the cultural boiling pot…

  • Scanned the post too quickly. Got wound up. Did a double check to make sure this was Eye of the Tiber. The quotes were so plausible. Whew. Of course……………………

PopeWatch: Satire and Reality

Saturday, October 17, AD 2015

9 Responses to PopeWatch: Satire and Reality

  • If I hadn’t known this was an Eye of the Tiber piece, I would still have
    known this was satire when I read the list of sins that would still incur an
    excommunication latae sententiae. Everybody know it wouldn’t be
    smoking, littering and being heterosexual– it would be using air conditioning,
    doubting the settled science of man-made climate change, and preferring
    to receive Communion on the tongue while kneeling.

  • Clinton: Well said.
    Being heterosexual or homosexual is not a sin. Like being of colored skin, being heterosexual or homosexual is an accident of creation, an act of God. Practicing sodomy is a free will rebellion against God, “the laws of nature and nature’s God.” from The Declaration of Independence, one of our Founding Principles. “He who lives in the Lord is above the law.” Atheists, agnostics and sodomites think and practice being above the law, but the law is “under the earth”. Yes, there is law and order in helll. That is why when you get to helll, it is equal Justice.
    One thing that annulments say is that some people are not marriage material, too much immaturity, too many deep seated problems and or depravity. If an annulment is granted, the individual ought to remain celibate. It is wisdom in the making.
    Sometimes God throws one a curve ball. There is always “Divine Providence” from The Declaration of Independence. If one does not approve of our Founding Principles, one is free to leave.

  • That first sentence of the EOTT piece made my head sin a bit in the same way a story I was told just after Bill Clinton got elected president: a married couple from Arkansas arrived in Washington DC. Since they were both 14 they decided to consult with an attorney: would they still be brother and sister?

  • But what about the children? (Sadly, this might be an extra–satirical question.)

  • “Being heterosexual or homosexual is not a sin”. TRUE.
    “Like being of colored skin, being heterosexual or homosexual is an accident of creation, an act of God.” FALSE. Heterosexuality is not an accident of birth, but it is part of God’s design. Homosexuality is not. To say homosexuality is an accident of creation is too simplistic. There many factors involved, physical and psycological. Each individual is different.
    “Practicing sodomy is a free will rebellion against God, “the laws of nature and nature’s God.” TRUE.

  • “One thing that annulments say is that some people are not marriage material, too much immaturity, too many deep seated problems and or depravity. If an annulment is granted, the individual ought to remain celibate”. Disagree.
    If a person whose 1st marriage was annulled by the church and there is no impediment to preclude entering into a valid, sacramental marriage, why shouldn’t they remarry?

  • Cupich says communion for open sodomites and adulterers, as long as their “conscience” is clear. After all “who are we to judge”. He’s also about as Catholic as Joel Osteen,.


  • Aw, golly, I thought this was gonna be one of those funny EOTT pieces. Now I see it’s an account of the real Synod!

  • The issue with annulments is that they are often handed out like door prizes at a church fund-raiser.
    The fast-track new rules could accelerated that scandalous fact.
    The validity of a “no-marriage occurred” ruling is valid “only if” both parties didn’t knowingly lie during the process. it’s like confession, in that sense. Absolution depends upon sincerity and truth.

PopeWatch: The Hermeneutic of Saint Nicholas

Saturday, October 10, AD 2015



From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:


A massive brawl broke out Thursday morning at the Synod during the 90-hour opening address by Hungarian Cardinal Péter Erdo, witnesses are reporting.

The brawl broke out just after Cardinal Erdo appeared to have concluded his four day opening address to the bishops before informing them that he would begin the second half of his address after a short restroom break.

Footage obtained by EOTT shows a tired and disgruntled Cardinal Walter Kasper screaming at Erdo to “shut up and get on with the communion divorce stuff” when Archbishop Charles Chaput picks up what looks to be a thurible, lights it on fire, swings it around a few times before finally launching at the head of the German Cardinal.

“It was amazing how quickly it all escalated,” one witness told EOTT. “Next thing you know, a German bishop comes in throwing copies of Laudato Si like ninja stars at people. Lot of people were hit. Blood everywhere.”

At one point, Pope Francis is seen trying to separate the Cardinals, but is eventually pushed out of the way by the rival groups.

The video also shows Cardinal Robert Sarah being helped up on a horse before being handed a shield and sword, and is then heard trying to motivate his side of cardinals during a 15-minute hiatus in the brawl.

“I am Cardinal Sarah,” Sarah is seen shouting to a large number of cardinals in front of him. “And I see a whole army of my fellow bishops, here in defiance of sin! You have come to fight as orthodox men. And orthodox men you are! What will you do without orthodoxy? Will you fight?”

One cardinal in the video is heard saying that they are outnumbered before shouting “No! We will run…and give communion to divorced couples!”

“Yes!” Sarah is heard shouting back. “Fight and you may die. Run and you will live and give communion to divorced and remarried couples at least awhile. And dying in your rectory many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as aging and balding men and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never distort our doctrine! Oh, wait, they’re distorting our doctrine. Aren’t those German bishops a sneaky bunch. Everyone run.”

At press time, Benedict has shown up and is quoted as telling Sarah and the rest of the bishops, “Not so fast,” before hiking up his cassock to get up on his own horse.

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4 Responses to PopeWatch: The Hermeneutic of Saint Nicholas