PopeWatch: Safe Spaces

Saturday, December 10, AD 2016

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops met in Baltimore yesterday to discuss churches in the United States providing “safe spaces” from hostile Catholic teachings, such as abortion and same-sex marriage.

Bishops at the assembly said that serving Catholics that are emotionally distraught by certain Church teachings is “part of our identity as Catholics,’’ and pledged to provide safe spaces in every church in America.

‘‘We stand ready to work with frustrated Catholics and to provide them with safe spaces within churches where they may go during homilies that are hostile in nature,” bishops said. “Our duty as shepherds is to lead our flock not only to the good news of Jesus Christ, but also to the well of refuge from insensitive, unsympathetic, and judgmental teachings. That well ought to be within a cry room, which shall remain being called ‘cry rooms,’ as all are welcome to express their feelings, either by outrage or outright crying, within these rooms without feeling threatened by the glare of impolitically correct, rigid parishioners. I propose that these adult cry rooms should be specifically designed for emotional adults so that they may participate and partake in the Mass while being acoustically sealed off, so that they may not hear whatever is being spewed out of the mouth of an insensitive priest.”

 

The bishops went on to pledge that they will work to ease doctrinal rhetoric in churches, saying that “just like any other work place, a church is not an appropriate place to discuss politics or religion.”

At press time, bishops are voting on whether to grant a dispensation to Catholics who are still emotionally unsettled by Trump’s presidential victory from having to attend Mass until he is out of office.

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5 Responses to PopeWatch: Safe Spaces

22 Responses to My Feeling Precisely

  • I salute you who have to put up with that nonsense at Mass.

    The Mass of the Ages has none of that, but, it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea either.

  • pf

    same here….our priest is centered on Christ.
    Not man.

    The general rubrics of the Roman Missal is void of the Protestant practice mentioned.
    At least the last time I checked it was.
    Who knows now-a-days?

    Something else you won’t see happening from our pews is the mimicking of the priests hand and arm gestures as he recites; “For the Kingdom, the Power and Glory be yours now and forever.” You will notice our hands clasped together with fingers pointing heavenward. Something that Pope Francis ridiculed an altar server for a couple of years ago; “What’s a matter..are your hands stuck together?”

    I do recall Fr. Larry Richards ( on EWTN radio)
    telling a listener that the early Church did raise their hands as a practice, however, it is not a norm today.

    Interestingly, some of the German Cardinals bare a striking resemblance to Dr. Zaius.
    Hummm.

  • There are a couple of Byzantine-rite churches about a 40 minute drive from you (in Joliet). There’s another in Lockport, Ill. about 45 minutes away. Nearest Maronite Church is in Lombard, Illinois, about 67 minutes away.

  • Not needed Art since in my parish of Saint Patrick’s in Dwight we don’t do the hand in hand Our Father.

  • Art: at our Byz Rite parish, some do hold hands.

  • I heard fr Larry Richards talk about it being important to do what congregation does where you are celebrating mass that day because unity. I wonder which more important unity with local, or unity with Church through the rubrics

  • Quick as lightening, the practice of holding hands came in. For a couple of years, it was a norm that I just refused to participate in. Now, as suddenly, folks holding hands find themselves twos and threes.

    I don’t know what changed but I am glad to not be harassed about it.

  • . It’s cultural not right or wrong nor masculine/ feminine. Christ was far more touchy feely than us cold temperature folk when He let John at the last supper lean into his chest or when He said this to a male host in Luke 7:45: ” Thou gavest me no kiss; but she, since she came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet.”. I’m not inclined to it at Mass but I do not refuse if the person next to me tries it. If a female were excessively beautiful facially ( my weakness) like the slimmed down Melissa O’Neil of Dark Matter ( half Irish, half Chinese…stunning), I if alone wouldn’t sit near her in a pew for several reasons including being distractive of the Our Father if she signalled me to hold her hand….since Aquinas, who chased a woman out of his room with a torch,wisely noted…”Joy is higher than pleasure but pleasure is stronger than joy.” Wherefore Aquinas didn’t dialogue with the lady of the night that his family sent to him, but he carried a torch not for her but toward her….big difference.

  • It is one of the main reasons I feel a physical repulsion when invited by otherwise well-meaning Catholics to attend “services” at the local Novus Ordo celebration. I do so, but it is like eating nails.

    That, and the horrendous music. Just yesterday the local classical music station played a flawlessly executed rendition with 4 voices of Mozart’s short motet, “Ave Verum Corpus”. I had to stop what I was doing and listen. I could hear a pin drop. We exchanged this, for “Let There Be Peace on Earth”?

    One plus: when I attend a N.O. service, it tells me what I could be dealing with EVERY Sunday.

  • I want to echo David Spaulding. What he describes has been the experience in my small Cajun town.
    .
    I clearly remember when everyone (it seemed) was holding hands, even I joined in. But, without any direction from the priests, people just …. stopped. Sure there are a few people here and there who do; and there are even a few nearby parishes where it might be the norm, but not to the degree that it once was.
    .
    Thank goodness.

  • Those hands that are being thrust at you either to be held or to be shaken are the same hands that, in a few minutes, will be thrust out to receive Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ from, probably, a Eucharistic minister.

  • Another reason for me not to hold hands. I only receive by mouth.

  • Yes. By mouth and kneeling on the communion rail. Our church has been restored from the awful post Vatican II highjacking, to the pre-V II condition.
    Beautiful and rich in relics of many Saints respectfully located in their reliquaries surrounding the altar. The statues returned and with them the honor due to the Sacred.

    I do love our faith community and the holiness that attracts our young men and women to feel called to religious life. This matters! The surroundings matter and God who willfully subjects himself to be present in the Eucharist and housed in the tabernacle is front and center in our old traditional Church.

    To think for a moment that we have a pontiff who is discouraging these forms of revival, TLM to be exact, it’s unbelievable.

    Our vocations to religious life are soaring from our little community, Cedar Michigan, and it is due to Christ being honored 24/7 in our Adoration chapel. This is the key! Jesus does the rest! Adore him and he will turn the priest from facing the community to facing Himself, and when that happens watch out! Watch the graces flow. Watch the young men yearn to learn Latin and become Holy. Watch and listen to the young girls who sing as if angelic.
    Chaste and happy, not feeling discriminated against for not being allowed to be altar servers. Watch for the coming of Christ!
    The new Springtime nears.

  • That, and the horrendous music.

    The pseudonymous Diogenes once asked, “Do you know anyone who likes this stuff other than div school twinks?” The diocese of Rochester commissioned a survey of musical tastes about a dozen years ago. The responses were as follows: 24% said ‘traditional music only’; 18% said ‘modern music only’; 29% said ‘mixed’; and 29% said they were indifferent or disliked music generally. I lived in the Diocese of Syracuse at the time, and cannot imagine that the balance of opinion would have been much different. Syracuse was free of Bp. Clark’s initiatives in parish governance (appointing some dame as ‘parish administrator’ and then having traveling sacramental capons appear and say Mass per her specs) and free of the lavender cabal in Bp. Clark’s chancery. OTOH, Bp. Moynihan was less gracious with the Latin Mass communities and standards of parish music were (best I could survey) lower.

    So, presupposing you had the same balance of opinion in Syracuse as you did in Rochester, what were you served? Well, the people who dislike music were generally accommodated with the 8:00 services. The people who wanted only modern music were treated to 11:00 masses for which the musical selections over a 4 or 5 week period were about 85% modern and 15% traditional. Everyone else got flipped the bird. I discovered one village parish about 50 miles outside of Syracuse for which the music was traditional by default. Masses which just had plainchant and polyphony were almost unknown and only seen (AFAIK) in and among Latin Mass communities.

  • Having attended a Christmas concert at the Nation Shrine last Friday eve with an orchestra and 2 choirs, and then the Bishop’s installation service at St. Thomas More Cathedral on Tuesday with beautiful music, the papal nuncio, 3 cardinals, a dozen bishops from Roman and Byzantine rites, most of the diocese’s priests, deacons and seminarians the bar has been set pretty high. Today we were back at our cinder block church with folding chairs with Marian hymns sung acapella ugg.. We sing the Sanctus and Agnus Dei well though.
    I don’t care for the introduce yourselves to your neighbor before Mass and the Kiss of Peace. If I have a cold I wear gloves or keep my hands in my pockets, but I never freeze someone out if they have made an overture to me..

  • Dear Lord in Heaven! Will you folks fit in with the worship in Heaven with people from all around the world who worship in a slight variation than you? You folks make greeting another Christian for whom Christ died almost a sin. I simply do not understand.

  • Bill Bannon, it sounds like you would have difficulty even in a business setting shaking hands in a casual or introductory greeting if a woman is beautiful. Even though I want to be shocked by that, I know enough of human nature & weaknesses, to be glad you discipline your self in order to control your weakness in this area. I, as a female, often have difficulty with the dress of many women partaking part in the service because their clothes are so revealing. I am not attracted to the women in any way–I am offended by their lack of modesty and respect. To me, dressing immodestly and going to church makes the church service all about you–rather than the worshipping of God.

  • “Will you folks fit in with the worship in Heaven with people from all around the world who worship in a slight variation than you?” – ‘The Christian Teacher’ (TCT)
    ..
    Well, so much for empathizing and not judging others’ sentiments by one’s own comfort zone. If TCT decides the protocols of the heavenly court and the company of the blessed, I will wait for ‘the next bus’ (cf. “The Great Divorce” of CS Lewis).

    Maybe to assist your comfort zone TCT, it would be best if Bannon and I not attend your party.

    (Sorry for speaking for Bannon, but I am comfortable with the likelihood that he isnt going to be trying to hold my hand while we are trying to experience according to our mode the Beatific Vision—–presuming I should somehow, given my quite checkered life, be so fortunate as to gain the lip of heaven. Sounds like a bonus to me.)
    ….

  • And, Philip, thank you for describing the profound experience you have in your N.O. church. From your lips to God’s ear.

  • Steve Phoenix.

    What’s profound is the sacrifices made by my fellow Catholics who travel over an hour to belong to our parish. We’re only 2 miles away, however my friends drive long distances to be a vibrant part of this faith community. Amazing!

    It’s God who’s glory we seek.
    We have many blessings at Holy Rosary.

  • “Well, so much for empathizing and not judging others’ sentiments by one’s own comfort zone. If TCT decides the protocols of the heavenly court and the company of the blessed, I will wait for ‘the next bus’ (cf. “The Great Divorce” of CS Lewis).”

    My point exactly. God decides the protocols–not man.

  • “Will you folks fit in with the worship in Heaven with people from all around the world who worship in a slight variation than you?” – ‘The Christian Teacher’ (TCT)
    ..
    Didn’t quite get the message the first time that God decides the protocols. Glad to hear it now.

PopeWatch: Rigid Moses

Saturday, December 3, AD 2016

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber

 

Pope Francis on Monday warned against the excessive rigidity of the Ten Commandments and said “God gives us the freedom to search our own conscience for commandments.”

“I always try to understand what’s behind people who are too young to have seen Moses walk down from Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments, and yet still they want to obey them,” Francis said. “Sometimes I find myself confronted with a very legalistic person who follows the Commandments and I ask myself, ‘Why so much rigidity?’ This rigidity in following the Commandments always hides something, insecurity or even something else.”

Pope Francis went on to say that, “Behind an attitude of always feeling like you must follow the rigidity of the Commandments there is something else in the life of a person. The Commandments are not a gift of God. The Beatitudes are because they are not a list of rules that stiffen us and make us rigid; they make us feel good.”

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14 Responses to PopeWatch: Rigid Moses

  • Following in the footsteps of rigid Moses comes Springfield Illinois Bishop;
    http://www.courageouspriest.com/bishop-paprocki-sets-record-straight

    If anything, PF has successfully muddied the water and created doubt. The great news is that we have bishop’s and priest’s who are worthy to their calling. They will not be called “least in the kingdom of Heaven.” Others are currently seeking that position and by their ambiguity are securing it. Poor souls.

    Thanks Bishop Paprocki.
    God bless you.

  • My sources tell me Pope Francis has been pacing the halls of Casa Sancte Marthae mumbling “Hestonus anathema sit.”

  • Perfect….and Maggie Sullivan in comments typed an amazingly long list of Francis’ name calling…..of Catholics…not of ISIS….of Catholics. Parenthetically, ISIS has been sniper shooting small children in Mosul. PBS interviewed 2 USA medics who have tended hundreds of children with bullet entries…many died after help as in the case of a girl crying on the operating table who later died. No one in Heaven will cry if such ISIS scum enter hell very soon.

  • Perhaps Pope Francis would have this in mind.

  • I’ll bet the they don’t yet realize that they’ve Photo-shopped the original Ten Commandments tablet and blurred the writing, so that now everyone can see what they want in them. There also is a casting of them in rubber to provide more flexibility to solve that rigidity issue.
    The entire intent of all this was to reduce the stress on the limited number of pastors who have been flooded with requests from second and third marriage ex-parishioners to retrain them about this conscience thing.

  • Isaiah 33:22

    (Responsorial for today’s Mass;)

    “The LORD is our Judge, our Lawgiver, our King; He it is who will save us.”

    Thanks be To God.

    Please pray for Pope Francis.
    Not necessarily his intentions, but as a wise commentor mentioned, for God’s intention in his life.

  • Bill Bannon’s comment is heart wrenching. Does the Pope care at all? Or is it all the fault of Western gringo capitalist arms dealers? God save us from this Argentinian heretic!

  • I’m prone to explaining contraception as breaking the 1st commandment in offense to God, breaking the 5th commandment as an act against life, breaking the 7th commandment in stealing pleasure but not acting in accordance with what God has Designed, and leading to breaking the 6th and 9th commandments personally and in Society.

    I do this not because I’m “rigid”, but to help Everyone avoid the sin of contraception.
    This Pope is a moron.

  • Most folks are going to find Pope Francis ‘wet noodle morality’ most merciful and not see that it is the work of the devil. This is due to 50 years of ‘wet noodle doctrine’ where sin has evaporated and everyone goes to heaven. Let us call for divine intervention and the courage to speak out against these diabolical outrages.

  • @ Michael Dowd.

    Agreed. Personally, I had difficulty with separating the Chair of Peter from the fallible man who occupies said chair. Respect for the office, in this pontificate, us different than respect for the man. I took me longer than most to finally come to that truth.

  • is…not us.. excuse my typo.

  • Wait a minute! This is Eye of the Tiber…satire, right? Right????

  • To Kmbold: Satire yes, but also the truth.

4 Responses to Me as a Psychologist

  • That is pretty close to the “therapy” with which (two times) I was cured by non-professional shrinks.
    .
    These bits of wisdom served me well. I was whining about something to a friend. He turned to me and said, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” And, years later another (younger associate) similarly responded to some useless whining. “Life is hard. Then, you die.” Words to live by.
    .
    At least my unlicensed shrinks didn’t call me “Nancy.”

  • ‘Stop it’ would be a great idea for priests in confession to tell their penitents.

  • Me being a lawyer: Answer to all questions: “It depends.”
    .
    Confession story. A few years back I needed to Confess. It’s not like it used to be. On 1950’s Saturdays every Catholic kid in the Bronx went to Confession. Now, it’s one priest for one hour.
    .
    Well, I get there and say some prayers, and see that an elderly lady is on deck. She goes in. I’m figuring, “what could an 88 year old woman have to Confess? This will be short.” My mistake: a half-hour later she emerges . . . I guess it’s less costly than seeing a shrink.
    .

  • If you were cured twice, doesn’t that mean that at least one of those times…

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As God is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly

Tuesday, November 22, AD 2016

 

Well actually some Turkeys can.  Wild Turkeys can fly, albeit clumsily and not more than about 100 yards at a time.  Domestic Turkeys, bred for the table, cannot fly, largely due to their overdeveloped chests, home to all that prized white breast meat.  I don’t know if the publicity stunt would have fared much better with terrified flying wild Turkeys landing near onlookers.  Some things man simply was not meant to meddle with, and that includes dropping Turkeys from great heights.

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3 Responses to As God is My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly

  • Unforgettable moment in WKRP history!

    A couple of (wild) toms were scrapping behind the barn yesterday right in the heart of a blizzard, taking advantage of a scoop in the snowdrifts beneath a still-leafy oak. Looked like two kickboxers in a ring. They took off and flew just fine in 30mph gusts. Generally turkeys run for cover, but when the snow is deep, or they are startled abruptly, they fly to the treetops. A flock of 50 or 60 big wild turkeys erupting from thick brush right under your nose is… dramatic.

  • I have a flock of wild turkeys visiting my yard come spring through fall, never have seen them in winter. They are not the prettiest birds, rather ugly and not at all like the pretty depictions we see on cards for greetings on Thanksgiving, and they can be very mean. There is usually a leader of the group who will come charging at me if I step out of my slider into the yard, beak wide open ready to peck at me for no reason I can figure. They also hang out in a local cemetery and peck away at many of the decs on some of the grave sights. When I visit I usually just sit in my car by my loved one’s grave, fearing an attack. I wish they WOULD fly away, from my yard and the cemetery, they are frightening.

  • Nearly 40 years ago, early mornings we would see Wild Turkey on lawns in a NYC suburb on Long Island. They roosted in the wooded margins along the parkway running to Jones Beach.
    .
    Ben Franklin wanted the Wild Turkey, as opposed to the bold-looking Bald Eagle, as national symbol. He thought the BE is a scavenger and thief. The WT is highly intelligent and courageous. They can fly but not soar. They roost overnight in treetops. Many hunters value them. They’re hard to get.
    .
    Some farmers raise WT or WT hybrids. I’ve read that they need to clip one wing’s pin feathers so the WT can’t fly around.
    .
    Our son rented a small house on 11 acres outside Fort Polk, LA. I helped him move in. Each day about 25 wild turkey would “work” the fallow field to the left of the house; except when we were exercising our Second Amendment rights to sight in.
    .
    Less populous are Ruffed Grouse which we sometimes “kick up” while still-hunting for deer. It’s startling and you can’t swing a .30 cal. deer rifle on a freaked out grouse. Believe me I tried.
    .

PopeWatch: Instruction Manual

Saturday, November 19, AD 2016

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Telling the press today that instructions of Pope Francis’ IKEA gift to them had numerous inconsistencies, four cardinals wrote a letter to him asking that he “resolve the uncertainties and bring clarity to the instruction manual for the armchair.”

“We the undersigned, but also many bishops and priests, ask that you provide the correct interpretation to page three of the IKEA instructions for your AMÖRIS Armchair gift,” the cardinals wrote.

They went on to add that “both theologians and scholars have proposed interpretations” of how to put the armchair together, especially its third and fourth pages, “which contradict one another.”

“Compelled by our pastoral frustrations over this hastily written instruction pamphlet, and desiring to put this chair together once and for all, that faithful visitors may sit upon it, we, with profound respect, ask you, Holy Father, as Supreme Teacher of Construction, called to confirm his brothers in the build, to resolve the uncertainties and to bring clarity to these vague images of nuts, bolts, and other material that we cannot distinguish.”

A foreword to the letter states that the main issue regarding the instruction manual is that the legs of the armchair shown in the instructions in page five were not included in the box, giving the chair “no legs to stand on.”

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2 Responses to PopeWatch: Instruction Manual

  • My instruction manual says the item of concern was made in Argentina and not Rome as advertised. Furthermore it is refurbished and not OEM.

  • The dangers of outsourcing.

    The instructions were originally organized and placed into a formal manual, however the outsourcing of said manual via Germany and Argentina lead to discrepancies and ambiguous interpretations due to a lavender material that was incorrectly used to print the instructions on. Big mistake that.
    Everyone knows weak lavender can never be used for print. It’s mushy and practically impossible for the Word to adhere correctly. To correctly construct the armchair without overlooking any important steps one might be prudent by sticking to the original text on sturdy paper.

    Outsourcing costs jobs too.
    Just ask Cardinal Burke.

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PopeWatch: Saint Luthor

Saturday, November 5, AD 2016

 

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

In a press conference aboard the papal plane this morning, Pope Francis confirmed reports that he would be investigating the life and works of 16th century “reformer” Martin Luther, stating that it was better late than never in “the Church’s eternal quest for ecumenism.”

On October 15, Pope Francis welcomed a number of Lutherans from Iceland, Norway, Sweden, and Germany to his residence in the Vatican, and called Martin Luther a brave Christian who was trying his best to reform a financially corrupt Church, which automatically makes the person a saint in the Church’s eyes.

Francis also said that the pivotal character in the Protestant Reformation was in heaven, noting that “all Christians that fight against greed are saints.”

“From here on, paintings and statues of Martin Luther are welcome in all churches around the world, because he is blessed,” Francis told those gathered. “Christians who suffer ridicule today because they, in essence, overturn the tables of the money changers extend a reflection of Martin Luther’s courage and bravery.”

Francis went on to state that it was his hope that by this time next year, all members of the Catholic Church would be reciting the entire Ninety-five Thesis just after the Nicene Creed during Mass, and that the next Jubilee would commence by his walking through the “Holy Door” of All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg where the Ninety-five Thesis was first posted.

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3 Responses to PopeWatch: Saint Luthor

  • Luthor – Luther – Lucifer – whatever…..

  • Lex Luthor is Superman’s enemy…an evil bald genius. I only match him on the bald part.
    Luther should have been seized by Charles V, dragged to Spain and put on trial by the Inqusition. They would have put his keester in its place. Bad ideas come from Germany….Luther, Freud, Marx, Hitler (yeah, I know he was Austrian).

    On an unrelated note, it is a shame that Charles V was not able to come to the aid of Mary Tudor, his cousin. Charles V’ mother was Juana (Juana La Loca/ Juana the Crazy), daughter of Queen isabel of Spain. Mary Tudor’s mother was Catalina of Aragon, youngest daughter of Queen Isabel.

  • To Spain: Cards Marx and Kasper. Soon in a plane, yes I know never plain, planned impropmtu press conference: Pre-Death Papal Self-Canonization. Check it out, it’s in the penumbras of John’s Gospel and the shadows of the “epistle of joy” to the Phillippians. And no more rabbit-like love, St. Margaret Sanger coming to a parish near you. Guy McClung

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Nothing to Get Scared About. Really. Maybe.

Sunday, October 30, AD 2016

And scattered about it, some in their overturned war-machines, some in the now rigid handling-machines, and a dozen of them stark and silent and laid in a row, were the Martians–dead!–slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man’s devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, has put upon this earth.

 H.G. Wells, The War of the Worlds

 

Remember, no panicking.  All will be well.  Nothing to worry about:

 

Amateur astronomers are puzzling over a seemingly anomalous cloud that has shown up on images of Mars taken over the past few days. Is it really a cloud, or a trick of the eye? Does it really extend 150 miles up from the surface, as some of the observers suggest? And what churned up all that stuff, anyway? The amateurs and the pros will be trying to resolve those questions before the phenomenon fades away.

“It’s not completely unexpected,” Jonathon Hill, a member of the team at the Mars Space Flight Facility at Arizona State University, told me today. “But it’s bigger than we would expect, and it’s definitely something that our atmosphere guys want to take a look at.”

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PopeWatch: Successor

Saturday, October 22, AD 2016

 

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

The Vatican announced this week that Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich has been selected to be Pope Francis’ successor after the 79-year-old pontiff hits the age of retirement next year.

Cupich told worshipers yesterday that he was “so very grateful and humbled by the news that he would be given the opportunity to wreak havoc upon the Church while wearing white.”

Cupich, 67, will receive his “white hat” in Rome on December 18, 2017, the day after Pope Francis turns 80. Cupich’s succession to the papacy also means he will have his choice of who will succeed him in the future.

“I would have to say as I reflect on it, while I’m pleased with this, I don’t feel any different,” Cupich told EOTT shortly after the news broke. “Joking, I feel pretty awesome and superior to everyone else. In a way, I’ve always felt like that, but now I’ll have more control to do as I wish with the Church, if that makes sense.”

Though this is the first time a pope has named a successor, it was no surprise to many that Cupich’s name was the one chosen on Sunday. Just last year, Francis picked Cupich to participate in a meeting to discuss how to better confuse the living crap out of people when it comes to the Church’s teachings on marriage, contraception, divorce and homosexuality.

Francis also named Cupich to the Congregation for Bishops, a Vatican panel that helps prevent orthodox and conservative bishop candidates from being elevated.

“Francis was looking for a doppelganger, someone who shares his mission, his message and his practices,” a Vatican representative told EOTT. “He found him in Chicago.”

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PopeWatch: Checkmate

Saturday, October 8, AD 2016

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed.

“Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval from the Federation, created bishops out of pawn pieces,” said World Chess Federation head Antonio Salamanca. “After speaking with Mr. Mafebvre regarding abiding by the new chess rules, wherein players are given the freedom to concelebrate the match, and to say the words of ‘checkmate’ in the vernacular, he has sadly decided to ignore our requests.”

Salamanca went on to tell reporters that Mafebvre had automatically incurred excheckommunication because of his disobedience.

“I must do what is in my conscience to preserve the dignity of the game,”  Mafebvre told EOTT in an exclusive interview. “Therefore, I have decided to consecrate four of my pieces into bishops to help my depleted side, for, from some Fischer, the smoke of Satan has entered the chessboard of God.”

At press time, one time follower of Larcel Mafebvre’s, Bavid Dawden, told EOTT that he has decided to become head of the World Chess Federation, though he only has three pawns to play with.

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5 Responses to PopeWatch: Checkmate

  • St. Pope JPII. How I miss him.
    His quote, recalling to mind the character, Mongo! “Mongo only pawn..in game of Life.”

    God help all those Mongo’s.
    Some have been raised to Bishop status you say?….Nooooo Way!

  • I can’t say I understand this or how it relates to the pope. As far as internet Catholic news, views, opinions and credibility about the Vatican, I have to say I see very little.

  • fxavier.

    The site, Eye of the Tiber, is satirical.
    On Saturdays, for a lighter note, The American Catholic draws out one spoof from EOTT.

  • Recently I have been doing much research and reading about Pope St.Pius X and the history and letters from cardinals concerning the documents of Vatican II, and on the liberalisation – read ‘protestantistion’ – of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.
    This has been becoming more and more obvious in my diocese in Godzone, and in the Archdiocese in Wellington headed up by Cdl. John Dew. This week, in our parish, they have suggested – from the pulpit – that next years Sacrament of Confirmation may be conducted in the Anglican Church a few hundred yards from our own St. Mary Immaculate Church, which will be available anyway, and this has the approval of our Bp. Steve Lowe.
    I will be protesting in the strongest terms that this profanation of a Sacrament be resisted.
    Thank God we have the FSSPX in New Zealand, and I have been talking to them, along with on of our diocesan priests. They may soon have a deacon in their ranks.

  • Don the Kiwi.

    Not that it truly matters…but…what was the reasoning for this “invitation” to be confirmed in the Anglican Church next year.

    Are there so many that need to be confirmed that St. Mary Immaculate Church needs the room? ( enter sarcasm )
    In all seriousness.. I’m with you!
    Explain to the Bishop your dismay and possible move to FSSPX!

11 Responses to Thanks for Nothing

  • I love it! Hollywood idiots. Heh. I’d love to see the response go viral.

  • I think the first one, SAVE THE DAY, was 3 minutes too long.

  • The first one was three minutes and one second too long.

    Hollywood should be converted to an Air Fore bombing range.

  • Famous actors? I thought I saw Nathan Fillion in that line up (not sure), but couldn’t have named any of the others.

  • Hey, they are “following their heart” as liberals love to say. Which means it is all about FEELING and not THINKING. Feeling is what drives most folks including our dear Pope. It is the primary cause of our on-going demise in our culture and our Church.

  • Speaking of Hollywood, now that it’s October the month of Halloween, the trailers for new series and movies are worse than last years’s grotesque offerings with all sorts of gore, bondage, torture and the occult. Hollywood and the music industry have a lot on their consciences, if they have any, for the sickness of our culture.

  • Anything I have to say to or about the Hollywood actors and actresses in the 1st video should not be printed. Baby murderers, sodomites, lesbians, fornicators, adulterers the lot of them. Disgusting worthless refuse of Western Civilization’s end that they have so willingly brought to pass.
    .
    All the more do I want Trump to win, so that I can scream at them, “Get the hades out of my country! You’re not welcome! Out! Get out, the lot of you.”

  • Penguins Fan. They are not worth the powder to blow them to Hell.
    .
    I don’t take advice from people that earn their bread repeating words (they likely don’t understand if they’re longer than four letters) written by other imbeciles, while making faces or tearing off their clothes.
    .
    The only exception is Charlton Heston. He played Moses.

  • I really resent being told, urged, instructed to vote. This baffles me. Voting is a duty, a privilege, a civic responsibility. I don’t need a sh*t load of famous people telling me to do it. it’s also my right not to vote. Am I an idiot that I don’t realize the importance of something unless famous people point it out? I guess they think so. I resent these directives from government agencies as well. “Drink water!” “Don’t smoke” “Don’t forget to breathe”
    I registered to vote at DMV when I was 18 or so.. Everybody just did it. Then everybody voted ON ELECTION DAY.
    When I started to see them out with their clipboards soliciting about 12 years ago I knew something was up. I live near Union Square (I call it Red Sq. I’m wondering ‘Who are these people? Democrats I assumed. Who is paying them to do this? Then followed the Acorn scandal, the ‘Republicans are suppressing the vote’ meme, states granting voting rights to felons, early voting, same day registration/voting, absentee voting, mail voting and every state is different. Too much room for fraud. I think there is no vetting once a person is registered to vote. They are entered on the books. There is really no vetting when you register. No proof of citizenship is required- only an address. The Muslim mall shooter from Turkey voted in the last 3 elections even though a non citizen.

PopeWatch: Catfished

Saturday, September 24, AD 2016

 

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Social media users are very much used to dealing with phony accounts, and Catholics in the world of Facebook and Twitter are no exception to the rule.

Pope Benedict “broke the internet” this week after admitting to using the Twitter handle “ThisCatholicPope” in order to carry on the persona of a 79-year-old pope named “Francis.”

“The fact that a pope started a Twitter account just so he could retire and still have power to hold the Catholic faithful in the palm of his hand is deplorable,” local catfished Catholic Brenda Summers told EOTT. “By doing this, he made fools of both the right and the left in the Church. He made conservatives long for his authority and wisdom, and he kept liberals at bay by writing a bunch of crap about the environment.”

After being confronted by EOTT, Benedict explained his actions and apologized outright.

“It was never anything personal. At the time, I was being really selfish…I wanted to pray and study without having to deal with the gay mafia in the Vatican. That’s the best excuse I have,” Benedict said, before adding, “Francis is someone who knows how to deal with the politics in the Church and the world. He’s my inner-popular Peter. Everyone loves him. No one ever loved me before Francis. No one ever awarded me TIME’s Person of the Year. I was just the old german who was once a member of the Hitler Youth.”

At press time, Pope Benedict is asking the Catholic faithful to forgive him and to just love him for who he is…on the inside.

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One Response to PopeWatch: Catfished