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Trump Gives the Gettysburg Address

 

(I couldn’t help myself.  When you see what this country has come down to in this election you either laugh or weep.)

 

First, I am going to sue those broads who claim I ruffled their hooped skirts.

A very, very long time ago, a bunch of guys, who if they lived today I would hire in a New York second for the Trump Organization, came up with a fantastic idea of  the United States dedicated to Liberty, Equality and a bunch of other good stuff.  It was huge, just huge.

Now we have a bunch of losers trying to bust up this great nation.   A lot of our guys have died fighting these doofuses and today we are here to talk about ’em.

 What good does talk do? They were brave and now they are dead and all our talking won’t bring ’em back. The world is going to remember ’em because of what I am saying here today.  We have got to win this thing for ’em.  We have got to get junk yard dog mad at the enemy because they killed our guys.  We have to beat ’em and bring back the America that those great old guys back in ’76 started, so Freedom and all the good stuff won’t leave us.  You guys are running this joint and if you want to keep running the joint we have to win!  Let’s make America great again!

Refreshments provided by the Trump Organization.