CHEYENNE – As Catholic Mommy blogger Courtney Kitchener-McGavin held her slightly irritable two-year old daughter Jayden during Sunday’s 11:00 AM Mass, she mentally drafted a white-hot post condemning the parishioners around her who were perturbed she didn’t take her daughter to the crying room.
“These people are gonna get it,” she hissed, her nostrils flared and eyes narrowed to mere slits of seething anger. “Tomorrow’s blog post is going to absolutely rip these people a new one. How dare they look at me with disapproval and a judgmental attitude? Don’t they know who I am?”
Courtney’s blog, “Stressed, Blest, and Breast is Best”, is one of the most widely read Catholic mommy blogs on the Internet, with tens of thousands of followers and subscribers.
“I get a million page views a month, so I have cred,” she said, her shoulders visibly shaking with rage. “These people are going to be sorry. So is the priest! The way he glanced at me when Jayden whimpered a couple times during his homily? I know what he was thinking, and frankly, I’m not going to take it.”
Courtney jotted snarky remarks and clever criticisms on an unused collection envelope during the Prayers for the Faithful, nodding approvingly with her choice selection of apt descriptors and moderate alliterations.
“Ooh, I really like the way that sounds,” she cooed, like Cruella de Vil taunting a helpless Dalmatian pup, her lips forming a self-satisfied smirk. “This is gonna be soooo good. This will go viral.”
In a rare move, Courtney bustled Jayden and her husband Roddy out of the church immediately following Holy Communion.
“I need to get home and post this right away, while it’s fresh. If there are two things I’ve learned about Catholic blogging, it’s one, write while the emotions are high and the fury is raging. And two, follow up humble apology posts are really, really popular.”