LarryD resides in southeastern Michigan with his wife and 2 sons. Born and raised Catholic, he abandoned his faith during his college years, and returned to the Church a decade later. When not participating in the free-market economy as a manufacturer's rep for several packaging firms and fulfilling his roles as husband and father, he's either blogging at the award-winning Acts of the Apostasy, spending way too much time playing MMORPG's, or when the weather's agreeable, spoiling a fine walk by playing a round of golf. He has -zero- theology degrees, but that doesn't stop him from loving Jesus Christ and defending His Church to the best of his meager, snarky abilities. He also has a cat of whom he's 89% sure is plotting to kill him.

The Catholic’s Examination Of Conscience Guide To The NFL Playoffs

Game on, football fans.  The NFL playoffs are underway as I write this, and across this great land, millions of Catholics will be watching the games and rooting for teams.

But which teams can Catholics root for, and not be guilty of committing serious sin?  If only there was some way of knowing.

Introducing the Catholic’s Examination of Conscience Guide to the NFL Playoffs, measured by the Moral Culpability Scale of Sinfulness, or MCSS, ranging from 1-10, with 1 = anathema sit!, and 10 = holier than the Pope.  Teams with MCSS scores of 5.0 or higher are acceptable for Catholics to root and cheer for.  If you’re pulling for teams with scores under 5.0, well, you might want to have a chat with your spiritual director before you get penalized for Immoral Procedure.

So let’s look at the individual teams and see how they rate.  Keep in mind, this is focusing on teams and where they play, not personnel or coaches or anything like that.  Current players are not being considered or mentioned in this examination of conscience.  Because I say so. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

Call-to-Action: “Apparition Of Martin Luther Worthy Of Belief”

(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

(AoftheAP) Attendees at the Call-to-Action National Conference, held earlier this month in Milwaukee, were treated to a special announcement that brought cheers and tears of joy:  the apparition of “St.” Martin Luther, who had appeared to an Omaha woman over a period of seven years, has been designated as “worthy of belief” by the CTA Board of Directors.

Marjoram Fennel, a former catechist in the Archdiocese of Omaha, was warmly accepted by the CTA crowd, as she spoke to them about whom she calls her “special friend”.  “At first I thought I was seeing things, or going crazy,” she explained.  “But I soon discovered that we shared much in common, and his messages to me were comforting and uplifting.”

She was grateful to the Board for their pronouncement.  Fennel told the crowd about the apparition’s circumstances. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

Occupy WallStreet As Described By Rush

No, not Limbaugh, not that Rush.  You know – Rush.

I had to drive cross-state yesterday on a sales call, so I grabbed some CD’s to play, and one was Gold, by Rush – a compilation of their biggest hits.  The Trees struck an appropriate chord.

At the very least, you’ve got some Neil Peart percussive excellence to jump-start your morning… →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

The 6th Annual Cannonball Catholic Blog Anti-Awards

Drop everything. Donald, put down that book on Civil War trivia and pay attention here. Tito, maybe you should take a moment from launching those five or eight new blog ideas and listen up.

The 6th Annual Cannonball Catholic Blog Anti-Awards are on – hosted by the indomitable The Crescat…, one of the best bloggers in the Catholic blogiverse.

Why am I mentioning this? Well, The American Catholic has been nominated in the Best Political Blog category. So head on over there, show some bloggity pride, and cast your votes! Sure, no one will get a statue to put on a mantle, or any endorsement deals. But so what? It’s called “fun”.

Oh – and by the way – while you’re over there – remember to vote for Acts of the Apostasy in the Most Hifreakinlarious and Snarkiest Blog categories. Yeah, you’ll see that Lisa Graas has been nominated for Snarkiest Blog as well. So here’s a suggestion: contributors with last names from A-M vote for me, and those from N-Z can vote for Lisa.  That’s fair, isn’t it?  Maybe?

And you can vote once per 24 hours. How cool is that? You can pretend to be a dead liberal union member from Chicago, and it won’t be illegal or immoral!  I’m not sure when the contest closes, so don’t delay.

There are other crazy categories as well – like ‘Best Potpourri of Popery’ and ‘Best Blog By A Heretic’. So go join in the celebration of averageness!

“If You Love Me…”

(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

Earlier this week – yesterday, in fact – President Obama went to the University of North Carolina to campaign for his new jobs bill, and he actually told the attendees:

“If you love me, you’ve got to help me pass this jobs bill.”

Seriously, he said that. Can you imagine if other world leaders and famous persons had used that line?

President Ronald Reagan: “Gorbachev, if you love me, then tear down this wall!” →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

Theology +

(Originally posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

There is way, way too much serious football, societal and political punditry being posted here as of late.   Time for a more light-hearted variety of punditry, me thinks.

Introducing “Theology +”,  featuring…

Organic Chemistry

“Amine, amine, I say unto you…”

Since Christ’s Ascension into Heaven, we have been living in the enzymes.

The Book of Ester comes after the Book of Judith.

“And they cast out many devils, and anointed with oil many that were sick, and Helium.” (Mk 6:13)

We must love our enamines and pray for our persecutors.

“Two frequent temptations threaten prayer: lack of faith and acidity…” [CCC 275]

The three theological virtues are faith, hope and chirality.*

King David committed adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of Urea the Hittite.

“Then they Cesium and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house.” (Lk 22:54)

OK, you punsters – put on your thinking caps and add your own in the combox.

*Yes, it’s pronounced ‘kahy-RAL-i-ty’, so it’s a stretch. But I like the way it looks.

Top Ten Topics That Will Rock Your Catholic Blog

(cross-posted at Acts Of The Apostasy)

Do you run a Catholic blog, or is it more like a Catholic blahhhhg? Do you wish you had more readers? Is your Sitemeter daily count smaller than Kate Middleton’s waist size, and you wish it would expand (the daily count, not KM’s waist)? Does your combox have more robo-generated spam comments selling shoes and junk than comments left by actual people?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, then what you need are The Top Ten Topics That Will Rock Your Catholic Blog, as compiled by the AoftheA Editorial Board. The EB scoured Catholic blogs for several hours days weeks months and months to generate a list of hot-button issues that delivered consistent results across the world.

If you want to increase traffic to your blog, and you want the combox conversations spiced up a bit, touch on any of the subjects listed below. You can either be pro or con – doesn’t matter. You don’t even have to write well or display logic – just have an opinion and a thesaurus and a glib turn of phrase or two, and bang! Your daily hits will spike. Your combox will quickly resemble a back alley at midnight deep in gang-contested turf. Yeah, it will get rather testy, but that’s what commenting at Catholic blogs is all about: loving our neighbors – even the Anonymous ones – with ham-fisted charity and bare-knuckled mercy. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

College Democrats of America Reveal Themselves

…and we learn that they’re rather ignorant of politics, history and economics. To be fair, I was too at their age, and since then, I’ve grown wiser and put away belief in childish things…like fairy dust and the power of unicorn farts.

There used to be a video – it was removed from Vimeo at 11:37 PM EST on 6/27 (presumably by the maker, and presumably because it was being skewered throughout the Innerwebz)) – but despair not! I found another copy of it! Fortunately, before the video was removed, I had transcribed it, and I’ve included my own commentary following each statement.

OK, you’ve watched it. Let’s go.

“I’m a Democrat because…

…because I believe hope is the stuff of dreams, and I believe in keeping that hope alive.”

[Dear Lord, they started with this guy? Yo! Spongebob Wishpants! “Hope” won’t pay your college loans when you’re unemployed!] ']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

If Ad Writers Were Only Allowed To Marry! *UPDATED*

…then ads such as the following would never get made!

(Click to largify)

From Huffington Post: Kia Sportage Ad Sparks Pedophilia Controversy

A new Kia ad is raising eyebrows—with some even saying that it promotes pedophilia. The ad, which promotes a dual-zone climate control feature in one of Kia’s cars, took home the Silver Press Lion at the prestigious Cannes Lion Awards. But it is controversial, to say the least.

The ad features a teacher lusting after his elementary school-aged student. On one side of the page, she appears as a young girl. On the other side, though, she becomes a scantily clad, buxom teen, seemingly as a product of the teacher’s imagination.

Oh wait – it won an award. It’s all good then. Never mind.

Click here if you wish to contact Kia Motors and complain. I did tried – their system won’t allow you to send a message electronically, so I called their number and lodged a formal complaint. I wasn’t the only one to call.

(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

***UPDATE*** (10:25 PM EST 6/24/11) – from the Kia Motors website:

Statement Regarding Inappropriate Advertising Material From Brazil

Kia Motors America (KMA) has become aware of an offensive piece of advertising material that was created by an ad agency in Brazil that KMA has no business relationship with and has never worked with. This ad was not created in the U.S. by Kia Motors America or any of its marketing partners and does not reflect the opinions or values of KMA or Kia Motors Corporation. The ad is undoubtedly inappropriate, and on behalf of Kia Motors we apologize to those who have been offended by it. We can guarantee this advertisement has never and will never be used in any form in the United States, and our global headquarters in Seoul, South Korea is addressing the issue with the independent Brazilian distributor.

Kudos to Kia on the quick response. Still makes me wonder how this ad managed to get submitted in an international contest and win an award if it was never approved by KMA in the first place, but at least they’ve made a public announcement denouncing it.

When Do I Get My Month?

(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

June is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month. It used to just be Gay and Lesbian Pride Month, initiated by former President Clinton in 2000, and then made more inclusive by President Obama in 2009. Of course, it’s not totally inclusive, because heterosexuals aren’t on the list. (So I won’t celebrate it until I’m forced to, which may happen sooner than later…)

In fact, if you read through the list of National Months, there’s no National Normal Heterosexuals Month anywhere. How come? Why the discrimination?

There’s no National Blogger Month, no Heaven-bound Catholic Pride Month, no Guys Who Love Girls and Girls Who Love Guys Month or anything like that. Where’s the justice?

There’s nothing close to a National Men’s Month, or Men’s History Month, either. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

More Oil, Less Hydrochloro-Bullhockey Please

The NRSC has come up with yet another great ad. This one pulls no punches.

I hope the 2012 Republican candidate is great as well – and not just on the issue of energy policy.

Conspiracies And Controversies

I have a coworker who is Catholic – not in a Nancy Pelosi sort of way, mind you.  He’s an ardent pro-lifer who really walks the walk – prays in front of a couple local abortuaries once or twice a month, and does a bit of sidewalk counseling as well.  He frequents the Sacrament of Confession often, attends Mass during the week, supports the Pope – just a solid all-around Catholic guy.


He has this one quirk that befuddles me.

He’s a truther. And a birther.  And lately, now, he’s become a deather.  And not in some casual, “hmmm-that-sure-seems-interesting-as-a-theory-I-wonder-if-that-might-be-true” sort of way.  He’s all in.  Compared to him, Fox Mulder is a doubter.  As far as I know, he hasn’t rigged his house a la Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory.  Still, he’s firm in his opinions and isn’t afraid to express them.

Now, it isn’t a sin to maintain an incorrect opinion, no matter how outlandish it is, on issues unrelated to faith and morals.  It may be stupid, but it isn’t necessarily sinful.  But what about those conspiracies that focus on the Church?  Not just the sex-abuse crisis conspiracy, or the sedevacantism one either. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

Priest Uses Monkeys As Altar Servers To Compete With Megachurch

(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

(AoftheAP) Fr. P.T. Bailey, frustrated at the steady stream of parishoners leaving his parish for a new evangelical megachurch, recently made a potentially controversial change at his parish, designed to attract new members and convince old members to return.

The change? Using trained chimpanzees as altar servers.

“Ever since Bobo, Gonzo, Chico, Matata and George arrived at Our Lady of Extenuating Circumstances, our attendance has increased by 250%,” Fr Bailey said. “Donations have been rising, too. It’s been fantastic.” →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

Elisabeth Sladen (1948-2011)

Quite possibly the most famous and well-liked Dr Who companion.

From The DailyMail Online:

Tributes have been pouring in for Doctor Who actress Elisabeth Sladen who died yesterday following a battle with cancer aged 63.

Leading them was former Doctor Who writer Russell T Davies, who brought her back to Doctor Who, and said it was ‘an honour to have worked with her’.

Speaking this morning, he said: ‘It’s devastating, it’s no age at all is it? All of us who worked on Doctor Who and Sarah Jane are just reeling at the moment.

‘It’s so sad. It was a joy to know the woman and an honour to have worked with her, I loved her.’

Liverpool-born Sladen played the Doctor’s assistant Sarah Jane Smith, first alongside Jon Pertwee in 1973, and stayed on with Tom Baker, the fourth Doctor, until 1976.

She returned as the character for a spin-off series K9 and Company in 1981 and Davies, 47, brought Sladen back into the Doctor Who fold in 2006 when she starred in an episode alongside the then Doctor, David Tennant.

Sladen is the second high-profile actor who starred in Dr Who to have passed away this year – Nicholas Courtney (aka ‘The Brigadier’) died on February 23rd.

Requiescat in Pace, Sarah Jane Smith

Catholarchaeology, Inc.

*NOTE:  The following is a serious article.  There is no parody, satire, sarcasm or intentional humor of any kind.  There is, however, 12% snark content.  You’re welcome, Amawalk John.*

*NOTE#2:  I take that back.  The previous note was sarcasm.  Thank you.*

One way of knowing that a major Christian holy day is soon approaching is by the increased frequency of news reports and History/Discovery channel shows highlighting “incredible!” archaeological finds pertaining to Christianity.  Sure, you can always use a calendar, but just in case yours breaks or gets misplaced, the secular press is right there with reliable quackery to help. They pretend Christianity is non-existent for summer, fall and the second half of winter – but come Advent and Lent, stories that either seek to disprove its claims, or misrepresent them – and sometimes both – are published and broadcast.  It’s the modus operandi of the industry known as Catholarchaeology, Inc.

Back in March, it was the discovery of the “Jerusalem codices” – which ironically were discovered five years ago, and are just now being talked about.  And challenged as to their authenticity, as well.  Big surprise.

Now there’s this story:  Did Journalist Simcha Jacobovici Find THE Nails to Crucify Jesus?

JERUSALEM — Controversial journalist Simcha Jacobovici says he may have found the nails that were used to crucify Jesus more than 2,000 years ago. ']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

2011 Masters Tournament Features Surprise Last Minute Entrant

For golf aficionados (of which I am one), the “official” start of the golf season commences today, with the first round of the Masters tournament at Augusta.  One of four Majors (the British Open, the US Open and the PGA Championship being the other three), this herald of Spring features the world’s best golfers at one of America’s premiere golf courses.  Phil Mickelson seeks to defend his title against a field laden with incredible talent and fierce competitors.

Along with an unexpected last-minute contender.

Teeing off at 8:18 AM, with Ben Crenshaw, Brent Snedecker and Kevin Na is none other than…

…President Barack Obama.

In what is undoubtedly the surprise sports story of the decade, President Obama worked out a deal with Chairman Billy Payne to participate in this year’s tourney, despite the fact he is not a professional golfer. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

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