(originally posted at Acts of the Apostasy)
Moonlight streaks through moss-covered trees. In the middle of a clearing stands a black-domed structure – the secret hideout for the nefarious super-villain group SCHISM [Society of Catholycs Hellbent on Instituting Secular Modernism].
INT. SECRET HIDEOUT
People seated around a large round table in a dimly lit room. One person is standing, a scowl on his face. It’s KING KÜNG (aka Hans Küng), leader of SCHISM. With him are REESE’S PIECES (Fr Tom Reese); McBRAIN (Fr Richard McBrien);RAINBOWKID (GLBTQ androgynous-looking character); LIVE CURRANT (Fr Charles Curran); COSMIC GIRL (Sr Joan Chittister); and the SOUR PATCH KID (YouthGen member from Call-to-Action).
Ah, fellow SCHISM members, ist everyvun present? EX-cellent. I zhingk you all know vhy I have called zhis meetingk?
You DVR’d the Grammy’s?
Vhat? Vhat’s a “Grammy”?
LIVE CURRANT (to SOUR PATCH KID)
Ach, be quiet, you dummkopf. No, not you, CURRANT, zee other dummkopf, zee RAINBOWKID. Now listen to me, all of you. Zhis morning, our nemesis, zee German Shepherd…
…announced zhat he ist resigningk at zee end of zee month. A vonderful opportunity has been dropped right onto our face! Continue reading
(crossposted at Acts of the Apostasy)
The pertinent portion:
“If you take a step back and think about that, you work at a restaurant or you work at a store, and your boss is able to deny you leukemia coverage or contraception coverage or blood transfusions or any number of medical concerns that someone might have a religious objection to … So the folks who are still objecting [to the mandate] have some very extreme ideas about religious freedom and employee health care in this country.”
(transcript courtesy of NRO)
Religious objections to paying for people’s leukemia treatments? Since when? Didn’t Ms. Fleukemia’s 15 minutes expire hours – or perhaps months – ago?
(AoftheAP) As the first presidential debate of the 2012 election nears, scheduled for Wednesday October 3 at the University of Denver, each campaign continues to lower their candidate’s performance expectations, issuing counter statements that oddly seem to flatter their opponent while downplaying any notion that their own candidate will do well.
“If these expectations get lowered any further,” an unnamed pollster said, speaking on condition of anonymity to AoftheA News, “any minute now, they’re going to look up and see the Great Wall of China.”
Members of President Obama’s campaign began the narrative in mid-September, explaining that “the structured — and time-limited — nature of the debates isn’t a natural fit for Obama, who often is long-winded when answering questions during news conferences or town hall-style meetings.” In addition, the Obama camp admitted that Romney’s recent participation in the Republican primary debates could give him an edge heading into the presidential debates.
These statements prompted a reply the Romney campaign, where senior adviser Beth Myers issued a letter stating, in part, that “President Obama is a uniquely gifted speaker, and is widely regarded as one of the most talented political communicators in modern history.” Thus, Romney’s expectations in doing well against the president are fairly low.
Not long after seeing the letter, members of the Obama campaign responded by saying that while they appreciate Governor Romney’s kind words, their expectations were still lower, because the president has not had the sort of time to prepare that his contender has enjoyed. Jen Paski, a White House spokesperson, told reporters on Air Force One: “I will just take this opportunity to say that Mitt Romney on the other hand has been preparing earlier and with more focus than any presidential candidate in modern history: Not John F. Kennedy, not President Bill Clinton, not President George Bush, not Ronald Reagan has prepared as much as he has.” She went on to cite that “the president has ‘been doing some studying’ but cited his travel schedule, unfolding events in the Middle East, and ‘just the constraints of governing’ as preventing Obama from focusing more time on it.” Continue reading
Way back when, in March 2011, I wrote “Who’s Your Doctor?”, a tribute to the original Dr Who series, and citing my favorite and least favorite episodes of the first 7 Doctors. Actually, I didn’t include William Hartness (#1) and Patrick Troughton (#2) because I hadn’t seen their entire body of work.
Now, as Season 7 of Dr Who premieres on BBC America tonight, I thought I’d write about the three “reboot” Doctors – again, reviewing my most and least favorite episodes of each one: Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant and Matt Smith. Continue reading
(cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)
(AoftheAP) Earlier today, St. Augustine made an unscheduled visit to the editorial offices of AoftheA, on this, his feast day, to air a complaint.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he said. “I’m beyond joyful at being a saint, and having been declared a Doctor of the Church. Deo Gratias and all that. But really – I have other well-known sayings, too, you know. Not just the “Our hearts were made for you, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you”, that you have published in your sidebar.
“Sure, I’m proud of that one, to a certain extent. But you’d think that that’s the only important thing I’ve ever said! How about ‘Oh Lord, give me chastity, but not just yet’? Or maybe ‘He who created us without our help will not save us without our consent‘? Here’s another good one: ‘God loves each of us as if there were only one of us‘? Hardly anyone remembers that one. I even wrote a few jokes, and no one remembers those either.”
The AoftheA editorial staff, when asked to comment, merely said that the Reflections From the Saints comes directly from the MyCatholic.com website, and since they published the quote, perhaps St Augustine should go pay them a visit as well.
“Oh, I assuredly will,” the saint responded, “Believe me, there are quotes literally dripping off every page of Confessions – yet that one gets picked. It’s kinda disappointing. I’m feeling pigeon-holed.”
When asked about his own favorite quote, he smiled. “That’s easy. ‘Thanks, Mom.’”
(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)
(AoftheAP) Less than 24 hours after the conclusion of the 2012 Summer Olympics, President Barack Obama announced that, while he was pleased with the sportsmanship and sense of fair play exhibited by all the U.S. athletes, he was disappointed at the level of their success.
“Let me be clear. The Olympics are so much more than mere winning and losing. I believe, and there are many who think as I do, that the Olympics are about fairness, about a cooperative spirit. I think what we as a nation ought to be asking ourselves is, what kind of country do we really want? The way I see it, and again, the way so many others around the world see it as well, is that what you have here…
“Look it, the United States took home 104 total medals. That’s more than the bottom 45 or 46 nations combined – not including those countries that didn’t even receive one medal. The United States took home 46 gold medals – that’s more than all but 3 countries’ – our good friends from China, Russia and Great Britain – total medal counts. Think about how unfair that is. For example, our country received 46 gold medals, while Germany received a total of only 44 medals – gold, silver and bronze combined. The way I see it, the U.S. took too many medals.
“So, in order to make this more fair, I’m issuing an Executive Order this morning declaring that the US Olympic Team will redistribute up to 75% of their medals to nations who received very few, or none at all. I think it’s okay that we keep some of the medals, just not all of them. And I urge our good friends from China and Russia to consider doing the same. What I’m not proposing here is unilateral dismedalment, which I’m sure my critics will accuse me of doing. I’m doing this in the spirit of cooperation and fairness, the sort of values that the Olympics, and our nation, are built upon.
“I think most people would agree, that we ‘won’ those medals because so many others ‘lost’. As proud as I am at the effort and hard work put forth by our nation’s athletes, I just have to say to them, listen – you didn’t win that. Somebody else…made that happen. And that ‘somebody else’ happens to be nearly all the other nations of the world, who just didn’t have the same opportunities, the same quality roads and bridges, which obviously did not lead to equitable outcomes. This Executive Order seeks to remedy that.”
(Originally published at Acts Of The Apostasy)
I’ve noticed a trend bubbling around the Catholic blogosphere, particularly in the more progressive, Catholyc publications. I’ve seen it in several places – nuanced and a bit covert. Until now. It’s this notion that we’re all cafeteria Catholics to one degree or another.
I reject that premise, totally and without compromise.
Here’s the most recent example, culled from that paragon of progressive prattle, the National Catholic Distorter, in a piece written by Isabella Moyer, on June 6, titled Catholics Need to Rethink Their Strategy:
First of all, let’s admit that we are all “cafeteria Catholics” to some degree. The groaning buffet table that is our universal church is too much for any of us to take in at once or to fully understand and accept with the same level of commitment and passion. We must stop judging each other by what we can fully accept with an open heart and what we continue to struggle to understand or believe.
I’m going to take this apart sentence by sentence, because there’s quite a bit wrong with nearly every word here, quite possibly including the words “and” and “the”.
First of all, let’s admit that we are all “cafeteria Catholics” to some degree.
No, I won’t admit that. I know plenty of people who are faithful to all of Church doctrine, and suffer sacrifices in ordering their lives as such. They neither willingly nor knowingly reject any part of Church doctrine or dogma. And if they discover that their conscience or lifestyle is opposed to Church teaching, they take the painful and narrow routes to conform their lives. They don’t rationalize sinful behavior and hide behind the cowardly excuse of “following one’s conscience”. Continue reading
(I admit it – not the sort of topic you’d expect at TAC. But maybe American Classics can be a new meme for TAC contributors?)
A blog I’ve discovered recently, and added to my reader, is The Art of Manliness. I wouldn’t be surprised if several, if not most, of the contributors to TAC read it regularly. It’s mission: To revive the lost art of manliness. Now, that has different meanings for different people – to me, I sense that the author and his many guest contributors want to expound upon iconic masculine ideas and interests. From a photo essay on getting a straight-razor shave at the local barber, to leadership lessons from Gen Dwight D Eisenhower. From what to wear on your first date, to how to tie a necktie. They focus on virtues and integrity and traditional mores, and while not everything they publish interests me, I have to say that everything they publish is interesting.
All this to say, I found it timely that they wrote an article titled In Praise Of The Push Reel Mower, earlier this week.
I was in the market to buy a new lawnmower. My previous model, a gas-powered self-propelled Honda (with bagging and/or mulching options) had serviced me well over the years, but two summers ago, the cable that operated the self-propelling feature snapped. And the bag was showing signs of serious wear and tear. Then, a customer service girl at one of the companies I represent mentioned to me that her lawn mower died, and she needed a new one, but she was bummed because she was broke. So I offered her mine, informing her of its problems – albeit minor ones – but she gladly accepted it anyway. Now I was committed to replacing it.
I had my eyes set on a model offered at the local Menard’s. But then….
…then I read the above-mentioned article. And my mind was changed, then and there. I bought a push reel mower yesterday, and used it straight away. So what was it that persuaded me to buy it, when just days before, I was ready to purchase a power mower?
Pure nostalgia wasn’t what convinced me – I grew up in the 10th Ward in Rochester NY – modest middle class homes with city-sized yards, and my dad owned a push reel mower that he *graciously* allowed his sons to use every Saturday. To be honest, I was envious of my friends who used power mowers, but my father was insistent. He wasn’t obsessive about how the lawn looked, as small as it was (we were, after all, allowed to play football and Rush the Bulldog on it), but he preferred the cut that the push reel mower provided.
My decision was based on common sense, with a little bit of virtue thrown in. I’ll list the reasons given by the author why he considered it (in bold), and add a bit of commentary here and there. Continue reading
(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)
(Sister Patricia Owens O’Flannery, OP, a post-modern pre-traditional omni-spiritual Dominican sister, periodically contributes to AoftheA. Today she’s been invited to offer her unique perspective on the Vatican’s recent decision on the LCWR.)
Hello, dear and gentle readers and friends of LarryD! May the warmth and vicissitude of Nature grace you with immeasurable beneficence! I have been praying for each of you every day, offering supplication that Sophia bless you and surround you with her wise wisdom, inspiring you to dance and play and immerse yourself in Her ephemeral permanence of lasting spontaneity!
You know, I’m not sure that makes a lot of sense, and if it doesn’t, please forgive me. My soul has been heavy as of late, all because of the recent announcement of the LCWR investigation. I know that many of you have been eager for my opinion and insights on this serious matter – I have felt the psychic vibrations emanating throughout the noosphere. Such confusion in your hearts, dear readers! I will try to explain and assuage your fearsome trepidations and trepidacious fears.
Before I begin, let me assure each and every one of you – the Swiss Guard have not put me or any other LCWR representative under house arrest! Those rumors are simply unfounded! We are free to travel as we wish, our passports have not been confiscated, and none of us – I repeat in the most emphatic of terms! – none of us have had our reiki stones taken away or labyrinths dismantled.
Now, as with any traumatic experience, we tend to vividly recall what we were doing at the time of the experience. For some, it was the assassination of JFK; for others, when the space shuttle Challenger exploded; and still others, when the Berlin Wall was torn down. In my own life, I vividly recall every action and emotion that coursed through me when I heard that Polly’s Polyester Pantsuit Palace in Walla Walla closed its doors, back in 1983. I had just been released from the local Catholic elementary school, and was meditating along with Chick Corea’s “The Meeting” album, and my mesquite incense infuser, when Sister Etta Loretta Loreto burst into the room, crying with the news. That was the last day I ever listened to Chick’s music. A sad sad day. The smell of mesquite still evokes a passionate tear.
But this news, hard to believe, was even sadder. I was leading a group of NCReporter editors on a pilgrimage to several Buddhist monasteries in Nepal when my 4S iphone newsfeed alarm went off (I downloaded the voice of Gloria Steinem, and she says “You’ve got fe-mail”! Isn’t that spectacular?), and I read the story with shock. The rest of the trip was ruined, as the thin atmosphere made it difficult for me to conduct any soothing breathing exercises. All I could think about, was how could this be possible? The LCWR – the prophetic voice of the world – and no one predicted this was going to happen! Continue reading