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PopeWatch: UberMass

 

 

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Uber has announced plans to begin offering Mass deliveries beginning early next year.

Attempting to expand beyond the borders of ridesharing and food delivery, Uber will launch its UberMass service in Grand Rapids, Michigan before expanding to other cities later in the year.

According to listings on a number of job recruiting websites, UberMass is advertising for a number of “priest jobs” not only ranging from saying Mass, but to hearing confessions and giving last rites, showing that the company is serious about reaching everyone “where they’re at.”

“There’s a lot of momentum in the organization behind UberMass, and we think the market is ripe for Mass delivery,” said UberMass general manager Simon Patel at a launch event in New York on Wednesday. “As numbers has proven, Mass attendance have been plummeting for some time now. We think that can be fixed. Catholics will simply go to the app, order a priest, and one will be dropped off to them. Easy as that, they fulfil their Sunday obligation.”

Patel said that for an extra charge, UberMass customers will also be able to purchase add-ons such as a guitarist to play hymns during the Mass, a friendly usher to greet them in their own home, as well as a sick parishioner to come and sit directly next to them on the couch.

Uber is also considering a UberMassShare option which would be cheaper, and would allow others around the neighborhood to join in the Mass and to split the cost.

“All this will be available to our customers so that they no longer need to leave the comfort of their homes to experience the beauty of Mass. Depending on the success of our new venture, we’re also considering UberConfession as well as UberXtremeUnction.”

The Vatican has declined to either admit or deny whether Uber will also deliver crying babies, texting teenagers and parishioners who fall asleep during the homily to participate in the UberMass.  With that, PopeWatch will be on Independence Day hiatus until July 5, 2017.

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

2 Comments

  1. When I first read the title, this is what ran through my mind:June 30 Martin Luther believed in the lay priesthood as were all the Jewish people. Luther believed that the Holy Eucharist, that is Holy Communion ceased to exist after Consecration by the ordained ministerial priesthood, for the lay communicant if the communicant’s Faith did not bring him to acknowledge that the Holy Eucharist was the Body and Blood of Our Lord, Jesus Christ. If the individual of the lay priesthood receiving the Holy Eucharist had doubts about the Real Presence under the appearances of bread and wine, then there was no Holy Eucharist for that person.
    Receiving the Holy Eucharist unworthily damns the individual. While those innocent
    persons who have not yet reached the fullness of Faith are not subject to such damnation. These persons receive the Body and Blood of Our Lord, Jesus Christ on the Faith of the ordained priest, in the same manner as an infant is baptized into the Catholic Faith on the Faith of his baptismal Godparents and sponsors. (That is why the sponsors are called Godparents)
    The ordained ministerial priesthood does indeed consecrate the Body and Blood of Our Lord, Jesus Christ. Luther held that unless the communicant believed in the Real Presence, he did not receive The Body and Blood of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, somehow undoing the Consecration and Transubstantiation.
    If Luther was ex-communicated, then Luther passed his ex-communication onto all persons.
    As all citizens are constituents of the president of the United States, all lay persons are constituents of the lay priesthood and are the faithful of the Supreme Pontiff in Rome. Every Mass is said for all people. This sentence is the gist of the matter.
    Evidently, Martin Luther had his pen and his thesis and he abandoned his flock.
    Now that I have read the post this is what I say: Missionary priests are needed all over America. Missionary priests have the power to say Mass in the home. However, I do realize that this post is meant to reflect the silliness of our culture.

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