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PopeWatch: Instruction Manual

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Telling the press today that instructions of Pope Francis’ IKEA gift to them had numerous inconsistencies, four cardinals wrote a letter to him asking that he “resolve the uncertainties and bring clarity to the instruction manual for the armchair.”

“We the undersigned, but also many bishops and priests, ask that you provide the correct interpretation to page three of the IKEA instructions for your AMÖRIS Armchair gift,” the cardinals wrote.

They went on to add that “both theologians and scholars have proposed interpretations” of how to put the armchair together, especially its third and fourth pages, “which contradict one another.”

“Compelled by our pastoral frustrations over this hastily written instruction pamphlet, and desiring to put this chair together once and for all, that faithful visitors may sit upon it, we, with profound respect, ask you, Holy Father, as Supreme Teacher of Construction, called to confirm his brothers in the build, to resolve the uncertainties and to bring clarity to these vague images of nuts, bolts, and other material that we cannot distinguish.”

A foreword to the letter states that the main issue regarding the instruction manual is that the legs of the armchair shown in the instructions in page five were not included in the box, giving the chair “no legs to stand on.”

 

Go here to read the comments.  Calling the Vatican, PopeWatch was advised that the Pope would respond to the Cardinals either on the 19th of Never or the 15th of Fat Chance.  And with that, PopeWatch will be on Thanksgiving hiatus until November 28th.

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

2 Comments

  1. My instruction manual says the item of concern was made in Argentina and not Rome as advertised. Furthermore it is refurbished and not OEM.

  2. The dangers of outsourcing.

    The instructions were originally organized and placed into a formal manual, however the outsourcing of said manual via Germany and Argentina lead to discrepancies and ambiguous interpretations due to a lavender material that was incorrectly used to print the instructions on. Big mistake that.
    Everyone knows weak lavender can never be used for print. It’s mushy and practically impossible for the Word to adhere correctly. To correctly construct the armchair without overlooking any important steps one might be prudent by sticking to the original text on sturdy paper.

    Outsourcing costs jobs too.
    Just ask Cardinal Burke.

Comments are closed.