Trump Gives the Gettysburg Address


(I couldn’t help myself.  When you see what this country has come down to in this election you either laugh or weep.)


First, I am going to sue those broads who claim I ruffled their hooped skirts.

A very, very long time ago, a bunch of guys, who if they lived today I would hire in a New York second for the Trump Organization, came up with a fantastic idea of  the United States dedicated to Liberty, Equality and a bunch of other good stuff.  It was huge, just huge.

Now we have a bunch of losers trying to bust up this great nation.   A lot of our guys have died fighting these doofuses and today we are here to talk about ’em.

 What good does talk do? They were brave and now they are dead and all our talking won’t bring ’em back. The world is going to remember ’em because of what I am saying here today.  We have got to win this thing for ’em.  We have got to get junk yard dog mad at the enemy because they killed our guys.  We have to beat ’em and bring back the America that those great old guys back in ’76 started, so Freedom and all the good stuff won’t leave us.  You guys are running this joint and if you want to keep running the joint we have to win!  Let’s make America great again!

Refreshments provided by the Trump Organization.   


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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.


  1. Bottom line: The “bunch of guys” (Adams, Franklin, Hamilton, Jefferson, Monroe, Washington, et al) a “very long ago” (12 score years ago?) would, in post-republican Aztlanistan, be called “irredeemable and deplorable” by the corrupt, incompetent Hillary mass brigandage rackets (the Clinton Crime Foundation, the Demrat party, Soros, the entire lying media, Obama, et al).
    Keep deplorable my friends.

  2. I did not see the words in bold above contained within the transcript of Trump’s speech at Gettysburg:
    Was this transcript truncated to delete those words in bold, or were those words fictional created for a theatric effect to increase the public defamation of Donald Trump beyond what he has already done to himself?
    Don’t get me wrong. I am voting 3rd party (either McMullin or Castle) this time around because I do not support either major candidate. But the text of the speech I read at the link above does not seem all that bad though there are some phrases that are too self-congratulatory and prideful: “But I take all these slings and arrows for you. I take them for our movement….”
    If there is a better and more complete transcript which includes those words in bold above (perhaps they are right before that slings and arrows phrase), then providing a link to that would be appreciated. But if the words in bold are just a caricature of what was really said, then I am disappointed.

  3. Sorry, Donald. Thanks for the clarification. Sadly, I find little if anything funny about this election. No 3rd party candidate will win – that’s the reality and I know it. We will get either an unprincipled, foul mouthed, playboy gambler or a murderous pathological liar.
    So my humor detector is malfunctioning right now.
    I thing I will note: evil leaders in a free society are a symptom of a wicked and adulterous people who soon won’t be free.

  4. “We will get either an unprincipled, foul mouthed, playboy gambler or a murderous pathological liar.”

    Heh, this election is sort of parachuting with several frayed parachute cords down toward a den of rattlers. What to worry about first? In psych 101 it was called an “avoidance, avoidance conflict.”

  5. Trump flank steaks and Carter’s Billy Beer.
    Diplomacy in the making.

    The DEM’s have brought this to themselves.
    A raunchy business man or an eloquently spoken representative, it doesn’t matter.
    It could be Ed the talking horse! Eight years of toilet trash administration was too much.
    The silent majority will cast their vote for Trump.

    I hope and pray it so.

  6. LDQ: I’m sorrowful about your not voting Trump.
    President Trump is our only hope for a Supreme Court nominee (There could be three or four) that believes that marriage is between one man and one woman, for a Court that is not packed with Sotomayors and Kagans: the low to moderate IQ mind is a terrible thing to waste.
    Here’s Ross Douthat on the problem with corrupt and incompetent Hillary, her imbecilic adulators, and the smart kids that have been effing up by the numbers for the past 15 years.
    “They’re the dangers of elite groupthink, of Beltway power worship, of a cult of presidential action in the service of dubious ideals. They’re the dangers of a recklessness and radicalism that doesn’t recognize itself as either, because it’s convinced that if an idea is mainstream and commonplace among the great and good then it cannot possibly be folly.” This mindset is responsible for the wars and crises of the past 15 years.


    “This record of elite folly — which doesn’t even include lesser case studies like our splendid little war in Libya — is a big part of why the United States has a “let’s try crazy” candidate in this election, and why there are so many Trumpian parties thriving on European soil.”

  7. T. Shaw,
    I am in basic agreement with you, but regardless of who is elected, I think that what Father Zuhlsdorf writes here is going to happen:
    The Psalmist says, “Put not your faith in the princes of man.” So this time around I will vote for the one who is closest to Church teaching, and sadly, it is not Donald Trump, and certainly not evil Hillary Clinton, our very own Livia Augusta.
    I wish I had your optimism, T. Shaw, that Trump can save SCOTUS.

  8. In the midst of all the fun here is a momentary reflection, possibly optimistic. Perhaps this election regardless who wins will enable the country so come to it’s senses concerning the kind of candidates the public has selected: crooked, corrupt, crude, etc. The election is a reflection on us and our current state of mind: confused, indifferent, selfish. Perhaps it’s time we did a country wide soul search as to what we want and how to get there. If we keep going like this our democracy will come to an end. Personally, I’m looking forward to the 2020 Presidential election as that is the only place for hope amidst the current chaos and despair.

  9. Joe Biden gives the Gettysburg Address:

    I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.
    Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans, traditionally, love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooters, the fastest runners, big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war, because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.
    Now, an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.
    Now, we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God I, I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against, by God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards; we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.
    Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you’ll chicken out under fire. Don’t worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty.
    The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do.
    Now there’s another thing I want you to remember: I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We’re going to hold onto him by the nose and we’re going to kick him in the ass. We’re going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we’re going to go through him like crap through a goose.
    Now, there’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you: “What did you do in the great World War II?” You won’t have to say, “Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana.”
    All right, now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh… I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere.

  10. Hillary Clinton gives the Gettysburg Address:


    (Secretary Clinton spoke to a closed door meeting of major fundraisers for the national cemetary. Her remarks were not made public. 18 months later, it is revealed that 3/4ths of the money raised for the project disappeared. Nobody goes to prison.)

  11. Y’all are such smart people I have learned a lot reading all the post. So I am surprised that some of you are either not voting or voting for HRC or a third party candidate. May I ask you to think of this? By not voting or voting HRC or third party you may be enabling plan-parenthood to escalate abortion for many many years. After Clinton acknowledging she would appoint Supreme court justices who are pro-choice while Trump said he would appoint pro-life Judges. Clinton has blood on her hands but you will too for you will be enabling her.
    May God have mercy on us

  12. You could look with a microscope JM in regard to this blog and find no favorable reference to Clinton. In regard to Planned Parenthood I refer to it as Worse Than Murder, Inc. It is solely because of the abortion issue that I reluctantly am supporting Trump. I regard Trump as an ignorant blowhard, a conman, a liar, a pig around women, a liberal Democrat, and basically a skunk of a candidate. That I view Clinton as worse is the only redeeming feature of Trump in my eyes. Having said that, I have a great deal of sympathy for many Trump supporters who have latched onto him in desperation and frustration about a political system that ignores their concerns and treats them like scum.

  13. While I agree with the sentiments of Just me, I won’t be moved by them. Trump’s campaign promises differ from Obama’s (and Clinton’s) only in their shelf-life. Moreover, Republicans have a terrible track record of appointing & confirming reliably pro-life Justices.
    Finally, there’s the tendency to “grow” in office. Particularly among the notionally Catholic Justices.

  14. Trump was not my first choice! But now he is the only choice,I have to have some hope that we can get rid of abortion on demand.

  15. “By not voting or voting HRC or third party you may be enabling plan(ned)-parenthood to escalate abortion for many many years… Clinton has blood on her hands, but you will too for you will be enabling her”

    I agree that voting FOR Clinton is “enabling” her no matter where you live. However, whether or not abstention or voting third party/write in enables her to win depends on where you live. Remember, the ONLY votes that count in a presidential election are state by state electoral votes.

    I concluded some months ago, based on lengthy experience as a voter in the deep blue state of Illinois and on current political data (e.g., polling, voter registration), that any vote I might cast for Trump here could do nothing to help him win nationally. For Trump to come even close to winning IL would require a cataclysmic shift in public opinion that would insure him a landslide victory everywhere else, a la Reagan in ’80 and ’84 or Nixon in ’72. Were Trump to win IL it could only be as “icing on the cake”. Nor will not voting for Trump, in IL, “enable” Hillary to win any electoral votes she would not have otherwise. In all Electoral College scenarios, the IL electoral votes are baked into her total from the start.

    This is simply the situation I am in living in a deep blue state. For those who live in other states where the outcome is more in doubt, the “not voting for Trump equals voting for Hillary” argument has more validity.

    Anyway, if MY vote has no real power to prevent a “greater evil” major party candidate (Hillary) from winning on a national level, then why force myself to vote for a candidate like Trump? If my vote is nothing but a protest, I will treat it as such and write in someone I can truly endorse — most likely Evan McMullin, or possibly Mike Maturen of the American Solidarity Party — without fear of having “enabled” Hillary to win.

  16. I am sorry E. K. I wish your vote would count! We all will vote the way we feel is right. But there may be more people then you know in Illinois that feel as you. If you band together and voted the out come might be different. I only know three people in your state, they are voting Trump.

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