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PopeWatch: Plague

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

 

In an effort to combat what is being called a “fast-moving and highly contagious disease,” officials at the Diocese of San Diego announced today that they will begin spraying for orthodoxy this month.

Diocesan spiritual health officials will spray parts of San Diego after several individuals tested positive for orthodoxy last month.

One San Diego resident recently returned from a one week retreat at a Benedictine monastery where orthodoxy is known to be active. The individual developed symptoms before returning home.

The case was confirmed after testing at the San Diego County Public Spiritual Health Laboratory came back positive.

When diocese Orthodoxy Control inspectors visited the individual’s home, they found a breviary and books by Pope Benedict XVI nearby.

“If Benedict’s books were exposed to others living nearby, they could spread the orthodoxy,” said Janette Durante, Deputy Director of Doctrinal Laxity. “It’s very important for Catholics to inspect in and around their parishes and to toss out anything that comes even close to resembling proper catechesis.”

This Sunday, spiritual officials plan to go door-to-door leaving notifications for Catholics to inform them of where the spraying will occur.

To minimize your exposure to the “anti-ortho” spray, diocesan officials recommend staying inside, closing bibles and catechisms, and covering up crucifixes, although a standard cross without the corpse or a resurrexifix is fine to keep out.

Go here to read the comments.  PopeWatch has been unable to confirm that genetically modified mosquitoes, bred at the offices of The National Catholic Reporter, will be used to combat this outbreak of sanity.

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

One Comment

  1. Just consider the consequences if ever the contagion made it’s way to the Vatican.
    Pope Francis, infected!
    Ohhh….the sanctity of it all.
    That…thhat.. would mean no formal Papal acknowledgement of the Reformation on its anniversary….aaa…and and no more videos on the dome of St.Peters….I don’t know if I could handle it all… just to much to even consider.

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