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PopeWatch: Hair Today

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From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

Just days after Super Tuesday, Donald Trump’s hair reportedly called Texas Catholic and apologist Michael Voris’ hair to “comb on over to the bar” to celebrate the victory.

According to reports, Trump’s hair told Voris’ hair that there would be “Hell toupee,” if he did not eventually win the GOP nomination.

“Listen, hairs where the story ends for the other nominees, alright?” Voris’ hair reportedly said, “You got the nomination locked, so just relax and take a breath. It would literally be unbeweavable if you didn’t win it. So hat’s off to you.”

Trump’s hair later went on to ask Voris’ hair whether he ever just sat back and pondered Hamlet’s question, “Toupee or not toupee” after contemplating the sad state of affairs in Washington and the Vatican, to which both replied at once “Toupee! Not even a question,” before laughing and finishing their pints.

“It really is a sad state in the Church, that’s for sure,” Voris’ hair bitterly told Trump’s hair. “There’s just so much corruption in this post-Vatican II Church that you got be Sheerlock Combs to get to the bottom of who’s really pulling the strings in the Church. Sadly, I’m not that guy, because ain’t no sheers coming near this puppy, amiright!”

PopeWatch attempted to get a comment from Pope Francis’ hair, but received the brush off from the Vatican.

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

5 Comments

  1. Being quite follically challenged, I believe I’m not allowed to comment on this one. Nothing here vital enough to dye for anyways.

  2. People should follow the link and view the original photo. It looks like this was just an excuse for a beer shampoo.

  3. Combine their net incomes and don’t split hairs, Trump could make Voris an heir to his fortune if he drinks him under the table.
    🙁 weak,I know.

  4. The author of Eye of the Tiber is an incorrigible punster. Stay away from there lest you further incorrige him.

Comments are closed.