Tuesday, March 19, AD 2024 12:23am

PopeWatch: Excommunication

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

From the only reliable source of Catholic news on the net, Eye of the Tiber:

 

 

Washington, DC––In an astonishing move today, Minority Leader of the House of Representatives and Mouthpiece of God in the United States Nancy Pelosi has excommunicated San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone.

The move comes just a day after Pelosi sent Cordileone a letter asking him not to attend the National Organization for Marriage march in Washington D.C., calling the event “venom masquerading as virtue.” In response to the letter, Cordileone issued a response saying that the March for Marriage “is not anti-LGBT, but rather, it is a pro-marriage march.”

The letter of excommunication begins with Pelosi regretfully informing the San Francisco bishop that, due to actions displaying disdain and hate towards LGBT persons, “I, Nancy Pelosi, Mouthpiece of God Almighty, Secretary of Defense Against Bigotry, Director of the Office of Tolerance, and Ambassador to the Alpha and the Omega, hereby impose a ferendae sententiae, excommunicating you from my Catholic Church. I ask you to ‘evolve’ and to mend your bigot ways.”

“We separate him, together with his accomplices and abettors, from the precious Body and Blood of the Lord and from the society of all Christian people,” Pelosi told EOTT as she stroked the point of her long red tail. “We exclude him from our Holy Mother the Church in Heaven and on earth; we declare him excommunicate and anathema; we judge him damned, with the Devil and his angels, to eternal fire until he shall recover himself from the toils of the Devil and return to amendment and to penitence. So be it!”

At press time, Pelosi’s uncle, Screwtape, is very proud of her.

 

 

 

When asked to comment, Pope Francis inquired, “Is she a fundamentalist?”

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Paul W Primavera
Saturday, June 21, AD 2014 9:20am

Wonderful satire. So very close to reality. 😀

Bill Sr.
Bill Sr.
Saturday, June 21, AD 2014 9:35am

How dare the Pope to tread on Mother Nancy’s “sacred ground” of Abortion and Gay Marriage! Who does he think he is other than some relic of the past having no idea how unrelated he is to the modern world of materialism with human rights to do as the flesh desires lest you commit the sin of clinging to outdated bigoted ritualism.

Bill Sr.
Bill Sr.
Saturday, June 21, AD 2014 9:47am

If Nancy is ever to come to her senses and right her ship it will only be by Divine Mercy through the Holy Spirit and the Fathers infinite love of humanity in general. She has all too often made a mockery of her obedience to the teachings of the Church and also any genuine respect for the Papacy.

Philip
Philip
Saturday, June 21, AD 2014 11:39am

I remember my grandfather Francis commentating on a political horses ass….He would say; “Has he lost all of his senses?”

Nancy is a poor soul. I have been praying my Rosary for her and other senseless politicians.

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