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PopeWatch: Resignation Part Two

VATICAN-POPE-AUDIENCE

In a shock April 1, 2014 announcement the Vatican has stated that Pope Francis is resigning today and Pope Benedict will resume his duties as Pope.

Pope Francis is quoted as naming two factors in his decision for resigning:  1.  The rich Italian  cooking that could get him up to 400 pounds if he stayed in Rome;   and 2.  Criticisms from Catholic blogs, especially in America.  Noting that his predecessor had warned him about reading the blogs, Pope Francis was disturbed by the divisions his election had caused.  “I do not want to be the cause of acrimony among Catholic bloggers.  If I stay as Pope it could be another “torture debate”, and I doubt if Western civilization could survive that.”

As for Pope Benedict, he is described as rested, fit and rearing to resume his duties as Pope.  Father Lombardi, Vatican press spokesman, said that Pope Benedict feels 75 after months of sleeping all night and eating hearty monastery food.  As for blogs, Pope Benedict stopped reading them after the condom flap, according to Father Lombardi, although he conceded that the Pope did sneak a peak at Eye of the Tiber for a laugh now and then.

Former Pope Francis announced that he would be willing to serve as “Interim Pope” again if Pope Benedict needs a breather in the future, although if he does he will eat only Argentinian fruits and vegetables and abstain from reading blogs, at least American blogs.  Pope Benedict is apparently planning an encyclical on the subject of whether Christ played practical jokes and if Saint Paul had a penchant for puns.

 

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Donald R. McClarey

Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.

8 Comments

  1. I went to EOTT topday to see what they had for AFD, and then realized it’s always that over there . . .

  2. And, to think that I read it in horror, believing it, each word impinging into my naievety with more force! Well, it is the sort of ‘word diet’ which we Catholics have been fed.

    That in itself is scary! Enough already……

  3. I instantly spotted this article as fake. Pope Francis’s papacy will fulfill its purpose when he suppresses the Jesuits and closes their renegade schools. (Georgetown, I’m looking at you.)

Comments are closed.