Last week Kevin Williamson did something I have often dreamed of doing, although to people talking or texting on cell phones while driving and not in a movie theater.
The show was Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812, which was quite good and which I recommend. The audience, on the other hand, was horrible — talking, using their phones, and making a general nuisance of themselves. It was bad enough that I seriously considered leaving during the intermission, something I’ve not done before. The main offenders were two parties of women of a certain age, the sad sort with too much makeup and too-high heels, and insufficient attention span for following a two-hour musical. But my date spoke with the theater management during the intermission, and they apologetically assured us that the situation would be remedied.
It was not. The lady seated to my immediate right (very close quarters on bench seating) was fairly insistent about using her phone. I asked her to turn it off. She answered: “So don’t look.” I asked her whether I had missed something during the very pointed announcements to please turn off your phones, perhaps a special exemption granted for her. She suggested that I should mind my own business.
So I minded my own business by utilizing my famously feline agility to deftly snatch the phone out of her hand and toss it across the room, where it would do no more damage. She slapped me and stormed away to seek managerial succor. Eventually, I was visited by a black-suited agent of order, who asked whether he might have a word.
The reaction has been fascinating. While a great many have applauded Williamson for his bit of cell phone vigilantism, others have been far less sympathetic and indeed think he should be brought up on charges. Personally, I called him a hero on facebook.
But is he really a hero? Technically this was destruction of personal property. While the woman was certainly rude, lack of social grace does not negate the right to property.
On one level, it’s difficult to disregard that Williamson did act in an almost (or maybe not even almost) illegal fashion, and he himself was guilty of causing a disturbance. At the same time, the absolute lack of proper etiquette is becoming a growing concern in modern society. My wife and I rarely attend movies largely due to the fact that we have small children and babysitting is expensive. Yet were it not for the children we still would likely have cut back on our movie-going as it had become something of a tedium. I vividly recall attending the third installment of the Pirates of Caribbean franchise. The sheer awfulness of the film was compounded by the sheer awfulness of the crowd attending, largely populated by shrieking girls gawking at Orlando Bloom. Cell phone abuse was hardly the biggest issue with this crowd.
All the same, the reason that so many view Williamsom with admiration is that he confronted rudeness head-on. Instead of bellyaching later in a blogpost about the obnoxious woman sitting next to him, he actually did something about it. Though the action itself is of dubious ethical value, it was an action, and in world of words any actions taken to tackle social problems seem much more meritorious.
There are obvious concerns with Williamson’s actions being replicated on a larger scale, so we should probably not completely encourage such behavior. That being said, I have a difficult time not applauding Williamson for doing what so many of us have yearned to do.
Amy Alkon has the right approach to this sort of blatant rudeness. You don’t tear the cell phone from a woman’s hand and smash it against a wall. You calmly, but forcefully, demand to know what this woman has done that has earned her the right to ruin your evening with her intrusive and socially unacceptable behavior. You speak just loudly enough that everyone around her can hear, and you let her know in no uncertain terms that her behavior is unacceptable, rude, and selfish. And if she doesn’t stop from the shame (if she has no shame), then you get the usher and ask that she be escorted out.
He had informed theater management, and they were unresponsive. Also, he basically tried Alkon’s approach and got a snicker in response, so I doubt that would have been much more effective.
The woman’s actions destroyed the property of others– that was not a cheap show she was disrupting; management failed greatly when they chose to ignore her actions, and should have been held responsible for failing to provide reasonable protection of their product.
It’s sad that one of their customers had to act to preserve the product they were selling.
Two words: Air Horn.
You don’t teach manners by being ill-mannered. It’s the theater’s duty to provide a suitable atmosphere – if they fail to do so after you complain, then you should demand your money back or a ticket to a future show. Far less satisfying, I know.
There’s another problem with the story. Williamson said that they were talking and using their phones, and when he asked a woman to stop using her phone, she said to stop looking. There’s no indication that anyone was talking on their phones. Using a phone is a much less serious breach of etiquette than talking on a phone.
I agree, Pinky, but using a phone is still pretty bad in the context of live theater. Moreover, there is no excuse for refusing to behave when asked. I’m not thrilled with Williamson’s response, but I’d invite him into my living room before her any day.
Oh, come on. How are we supposed to determine guilt or innocence in this day and age without knowing the skin tones and ethnic backgrounds of the participants? Didn’t you people get the memo?
Williamson bought and paid for a product as advertized. It is up to the management to deliver and make the woman with the phone leave. It is Wiliamson’s call, no one else’s. A nice lawsuit for damages; not only the cost of the show, but time, travel expenses and aggravation as well as the dinner they could not swallow. Next time the offenders will be removed.
What if there hadn’t been a phone, so no device to grab, and she’d just been talking? Would it have been okay to snatch her purse? Or punch her in the face?
Nope. He acted like a two-year-old. Ask the management for your money back, like a grown-up. Or get up and find another seat.
The reason he got lots of approval from his audience? Because the public is full of people who also act like two-year-olds, when they can get away with it. “But it was popular” is hardly an argument for the rightness of a thing.