Some things truly do not need any commentary, but this is too sweet a target to forego the obligatory ducks in a barrel:
1. Somebody buy our rag, please!: Newsweek has been suffering financial woes for a very long time. Since 2007 it has lost 50% of its subscribers. I assume that the management at Newsweek now thinks they have nothing to lose from being an open arm of the Democrat party, rather than a hidden arm of that party, which was their usual mode of operation in the good old days, for them, when the magazine actually managed to make money.
2. Bubble people: The powers that be at Newsweek obviously live in an ideological bubble where calling Obama the First Gay President will help him. Most of the country does not inhabit that bubble.
3. Halo Twofer: The halo above the President is of course no accident. The folks at Newsweek regard Obama as a saint, if not higher in the celestial hierarchy. As for gays, they are by definition on the side of the angels, a somewhat patronizing attitude on TV these days where gays are trotted out to deliver lines filled with wit, wisdom and tolerance, occupying the slot previously alloted in television land decades ago to ministers, priests, nuns and rabbis.
4. Not a Put On: No clever satire is intended by Newsweek. They are in deadly earnest. More is the pity.
5. The meaning of Gay: Judging from my teenage daughter’s use of the term, “gay”, among the younger generation, frequently means “lame” or “weak”. In that sense Obama is most assuredly a gay president, albeit far from the first one.
6. Gynecologist Sullivan: Andrew Sullivan, the author held responsible for this amazing piece, has been noted over the past few years chiefly for his fascination with the gynecology of Sarah Palin, particularly in regard to the birth of Trig Palin. Now he has branched out to sexual orientation conversion therapy apparently. Be careful President Obama, be very careful!
7. Conservative and Catholic: Mr. Sullivan, pro-abort, homosexual activist and ardent Obama supporter, claims to be both a conservative and a Catholic. I have little doubt that he is about as much a Catholic as he is a conservative.
8. Gay Pope: It is small potatoes for Sullivan to claim that Obama is a gay President , since he has already claimed that Pope Benedict is gay. He came to this belief through stereotypes and his skill as a psychologist. (And you thought he was just a gynecologist!)
At times, it seems to me, his gayness is almost wince-inducing. The prissy fastidiousness, the effeminate voice, the fixation on liturgy and ritual, and the over-the-top clothing accessories are one thing. But what resonates with me the most is a theology that seems crafted from solitary introspection into a perfect, abstract unity of belief. It is so perfect it reflects a life of withdrawal from the world of human relationship, rather than an interaction with it. Of course, this kind of work is not inherently homosexual; but I have known so many repressed gay men who can only live without severe pain in the world if they create a perfect abstraction of what it is, and what their role is in it.
Truly Sullivan is a man of many talents and his manifold skills are wasted as a contributor to a dying newsmagazine that mainly serves as liner for litter boxes and birdcages.
9. Helpful Hints: I do hope that Newsweek will continue on with this line of assistance for Mr. Obama during the current year. Further “firsts” they might consider: First Atheist President, First Nobel Prize for Breathing President, First Light Worker President, First Dog Eating President, First President to Make Michelle Proud to be an American, and the list could go on for considerable length.
10. Buy Newsweek: I urge all our readers to run out and buy a copy of this issue. One day your grandkids will be asking you in bewilderment just how Obama became President of these United States and you can point at that cover and say, “One picture is worth more than a thousand words.”