Thursday, May 12, AD 2011
The Galactic Empire Times brings us news of a stunning development:
The compound, only about 50 miles from the base of operations for the Imperial Storm Squadron, is at the end of a narrow dirt road and is roughly eight times larger than other homes in the area, which were largely occupied by Tusken Raiders. When Imperial operatives converged on the planet on Saturday, following up on recent intelligence, two local moisture farmers “resisted the assault force” and were killed in the middle of an intense gun battle, a senior Stormtrooper said, but details were still sketchy early Monday morning.
A representative of the Imperial Starfleet said that military and intelligence officials first learned last summer that a “high-value target” was hiding somewhere on the desert world and began working on a plan for going in to get him. Beginning in March, Lord Vader worked closely with a series of several different Admirals serving onboard the Death Star to go over plans for the operation, and on Friday morning gave the final order for members of the 501st Legion (known commonly as “Vader’s Fist”) to strike.
Kenobi and a group of his followers were eventually captured while fleeing the system, and taken aboard the Death Star, which was in the midst of surveying the recent environmental disaster on Alderaan. Darth Vader called it a “targeted operation,” although officials said four tie fighters were lost because of “mechanical failures” and had to be destroyed to keep them from falling into hostile hands.
In addition to Kenobi, two men and one wookiee were killed, one believed to be his young apprentice and the other two his couriers, according to an admiral who briefed reporters under Imperial ground rules forbidding further identification. A woman was killed when she was used as a shield by a male combatant, the Admiral said. Two droids were also reported missing.
“No Stormtroopers were seriously harmed,” Lord Vader said. “They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, I defeated my former master and took custody of his body.” Jedi tradition requires burial within 24 hours, but by doing it in deep space, Imperial authorities presumably were trying to avoid creating a shrine for his followers.
Go here to read the rest. The question now arises as to the political consequences of all this. Finally bringing to a close the Jedi Rebellion may help prop up Emperor Palpatine’s sagging popularity rating (officially 98.25 positive, unofficially .002% positive) in the short term, but it will do little to rehabilitate the image of the Emperor long term, badly damaged as it is by the dismal galactic economy and the quadrillions of imperial credits spent thus far for the construction of the Imperial “Deathstar” which has been condemned privately by critics in the military as “Lord Vader’s Folly”. Then we have the criticisms quietly directed at the Emperor for fostering a cult known as “The Force”, an initiative which has been publicly condemned by the Vatican. Finally, the still unexplained destruction of the planet Alderaan has awakened a deep sense of alarm in many citizens of the Empire.
Taking all this into consideration————————————–
THE AUTHOR OF THIS SEDITIOUS POST HAS NOW BEEN ARRESTED AND SENTENCED TO TEN YEARS AS A SERVER OF EVICTION NOTICES FOR THE IMPERIAL GOVERNMENT ON THE WOOKIEE HOME WORLD. ALL READERS OF THIS POST MAY EXPECT TO BE CONTACTED BY IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE. ALL HAIL EMPEROR PALPATINE!