Hattip to Ed Morrissey at Hot Air. Apparently the staffers of defeated Democrats in Congress are being provided with grief counseling.
A staffer for a congressional Democrat who came up short on Tuesday reports that a team of about five people stopped by their offices this morning to talk about payroll, benefits, writing a résumé, and so forth, with staffers who are now job hunting.
But one of the staffers was described as a “counselor” to help with the emotional aspect of the loss — and a section in the packet each staffer was given dealt with the stages of grief (for instance, Stage One being anger, and so on).
“It was like it was about death,” the staffer said. “It was bizarre.” The staffer did say the portions about the benefits and résumé writing were instructive.
I have always had a keen concern for the mental health of Democrats in Congress, so I will attempt in this post to give them a few pointers to help them work through their grief:
1. Denial: As the saying goes, it is just not a river in Egypt. Best to deal quickly with this stage. “The Election was just a bad dream. We did not suffer the worst rejection at the polls of either party since 1948. All will be well, all will be well. Chant together: Hope and Change! Hope and Change! Hope and Change!” With luck you can get beyond this stage in a few days, certainly by the time the office movers come.
2. Anger: Let it all out. “Blast those lying, knuckle dragging Republicans! Can you believe how stupid the average voters are! After all we did for the country! This nation is doomed! I’m moving to Canada!” Turn on Hannity and engage in primal scream therapy at the TV. Listen to Rush as you dust off that voodoo doll of him and stick pins in it. After a few days you will get past the teeth grinding stage whenever you think about the election.
3. Bargaining: This is perhaps the most delusional stage so make it short. “We will pass so many great pieces of legislation in the lame duck session that the people will rally to us! Maybe I can get a job in the Obama administration!”
4. Depression: Churchill used to refer to his bouts of depression as the black dog. I would suggest that you refer to this election depression as the Post Pelosi Blues. Don’t be ashamed to cry. No one will think the less of you unless you do it where anyone can see you. Act to counteract the blues. Watching videos of President Obama might aid in giving you hope for a light at the end of the tunnel. Watching videos of beloved Veep and National Clown Joe Biden will be certain to have you laughing in no time at all. Go to Nancy Pelosi’s party to celebrate the accomplishments of the 111th Congress on November 10. That one should be a laugh riot!
5. Acceptance: Time to head back to wherever you hail from unless you can latch on to a phony baloney job in DC. Keep your head up. Chances are you can latch on to a phony baloney political job on the state or local level. If not, you can always dive into the private sector. Thanks to the policies of the Obama administration you should have no problem in obtaining private employment in absolutely no time at all! Finally, if the Republicans really screw up, you might find yourself back again in DC sooner than you think. If not, well you will always have 2008!