Sad Little Man

I’ve heard it said that imitation is a form of flattery, but I think it is equally true that uncharitable and unfunny satire is flattery in its own right. The American Catholic (as well as a couple of other blogs associated with frequent com-boxers here)  has now been parodied/attacked with a faux-blog called “The Catholic Fascist.” I think we all know who is behind this rather bizarre and childish waste of time.

I actually find it quite amusing, I must admit.  He does manage to make a few zingers that cracked me up in the sense that we all have to laugh at ourselves from time to time, but the funniest part is that its really nothing but the temper-tantrum of a frustrated loser who has completely given up. Can we blame him? The blog he used to write for couldn’t even break into the top million websites in the United States, while ours is in the top 140,000 (and our readership doubled in the last month alone). I’m sure his professors think he’s cool though.

Now, I’m not sure which of the lovely characters writing for the faux-blog I am supposed to be. At first I thought I was “Joe Pantsonfire” (funny coming from a guy who lies about posting here under different identities, and probably plans on denying that he created this thing), but in linking to a post on my personal blog I was referred to as “Joe Hartgrove.”

But really, if a clear warning that Francoism, which actually was pretty close to fascism (but not identical with it, as some ignorami argue), doesn’t work and can’t work in the United States, a repeated rejection of neoconservative empire building,  a consistent argument that families and communities should be strengthened at the expense of the state and a total rejection of corporatism and plutocracy makes me a fascist, then there’s really only one thing we can conclude: that the person making the claim is blinded by anger, bitterness, and envy to the point of sheer stupidity. He is theoretically bankrupt and intellectually lazy. And he needs to get a life, preferably one in Christ.

80 Responses to Sad Little Man

  • The Catholic Anarchist’s idea of a knee slapper is “And then the Fascist Republican Traditionalist Catholic choked to death!” Joe is correct that he needs to get a life, along with professional help.

  • I was a bit disappointed that none of the contributors were named Greenadder or some such. Surely he could have put something in there about sweatshops.

  • Wow, that’s not even good satire. I can see that the academy has really gained a winner with this one.

  • Yeah, the funniest thing about it is, intentionally or not, his name equates to Dick Hedges.

  • I have to say, I think the classic ConCruncy blog was a lot more fun as group blog parodies go, but as we all know inequality is a major problem in modern neo-liberal America, and as the bard tells us, “When two men ride of a horse, one must go behind.”

  • Ah, well. I guess it should be flattering that Michael feels y’all are worth the effort.

  • Shouldn’t it be The Fascist Catholic?

  • For some reason, I’m reminded of the ’90s ‘zine “Die Evan Dando Die,” “dedicated” to the lead singer of The Lemonheads…

    From what I’ve seen, anti-blogs tend to run out of steam pretty quickly. Even where I have been sympathetic to the parody/satire, it soon becomes “meh.” There’s a reason Orwell limited it to a “Two Minutes Hate.”

    “I know what you are against, but what are you *for*?”

  • Pathetic in so many ways.

    And if you are going to try satire, you must first be informed about your subject. michael has been taken to the woodshed more than once about his ignorance of fascism (including details of its statism and modernism, which adds some irony to this whole thing, especially for one that wants to claim “anarchy,” a term of which he is also ignorant).

    His hatred and disdain is not only pathetic and childish – it also does significant harm to his ability to have his ideas considered in a serious manner. This is something a wide variety of folks with a wide variety of ideas have made clear, including a harsh and well deserved rebuke from a well respected pacifist former co-contributer.

    michael, it seems to me that your hatred is fundamentally self-hatred. Get some help.

  • Pope Pius V, Cardinal Charles Borromeo, and Philip Neri had ongoing struggles with each other over matters of liturgy, discipline, and papal authority. Those are the same things we argue about today. They were able to compete with each other on a much grander stage than Internet Explorer, with the future of Christendom on the line, without becoming jerks. May they pray for us.

  • “…while ours is in the top 140,000 (and our readership doubled in the last month alone).”

    Congratulations men! Thank you for all of your hard work.

    I am particularly fond of Donald’s history posts concerning Catholics in the military. I think his writings would make a very inspirational book for Catholic men, especially (but not only) those in the military.

  • Like Blackadder, I’m kind of disappointed that while Joe and Don each rated two parody alter-egos, I didn’t get any. There wasn’t room for a DarwinFascist or DawkinsCatholic?

  • He’s got two new posts up, by the way. Don and Dave are the targets.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the comments are all left by him as well.

    How long will the Hillbilly Hipster keep this going?

  • One measure of a man’s greateness, among native American tribes, was the caliber of his enemies.

    Sadly, your “enemies” are useless idiots.

  • While it’s a parody site, I’ll bet it also serves the purpose to stand as a foil for him and his allies in fooling the unaware that there are actually fascist Catholics on the right (as opposed to the left where they really are).

    So it’s a parody, but I’ll bet it’s also a disinformation tactic as well.

  • I’m at a loss as to who the Lady Macbeth and Parker Euton characters are supposed to be. They don’t really sound like parodies of anyone at AC.

  • I’m at a loss as to who the Lady Macbeth and Parker Euton characters are supposed to be.

    Yeah, those puzzled me, too. I suspect it’s a swipe at others (or more tendentious, types) in the “villainous” zones of the Catholic blogosphere. That’s still about as clear as Nostradamus.

    On the bright side, I imagine Tito will get a big kick out of commenter “Pelayo.”

  • And still no “Browngarter” or the equivalent, either. ;)

  • Ah, “I” have now contributed to Catholic Fascist.

    All I can say is that it is better to release anger once in a while, instead of letting it build up and rot your soul from the inside out.

  • My theory is that these flurry of posts are in response to this post, because people are actually viewing the thing.

    Its cuteness, however, will have a very short shelf life. Preen and status-posture away like mad now, michael, because very soon you will find yourself ignored (the horror! the horror! the horror!) once again.

  • Yeah, I’ve given him more exposure than he ever would have had. But I don’t mind that. People should see how pathetic he is.

    I don’t think he’s ever changed a single mind, elevated a single thought, or even shifted a person’s perspective in the slightest. They call us the “Calvinists”, but they write and behave as if the world is already divided between the elect and the damned, that they are in the elect, and that they will only preach to the elect.

    Christ called us to be fishers of men, not to build echo-chambers.

  • I don’t think he’s ever changed a single mind

    I wouldn’t be surprised if he has changed minds, though in the other direction.

    I don’t think persuasion is what Mike is really going for, in any event.

  • “I wouldn’t be surprised if he has changed minds, though in the other direction.”

    Yeah true.

  • I’m just excited that my little low-traffic blog got associated with y’all!

  • It looks like the site’s blogroll is an excellent resource.

  • Dale,

    If he only knew about the history of my family in Mexico and how proud they are (and I am).

    He can’t seem to stomach the fact that I was born in the U.S. and am a very proud American and U.S. citizen.

    At least he used a good strong Spanish name like Pelayo. Pelayo started the Reconquista that eventually freed Spain from Muslim rule after being overrun in the 8th century.

  • I do find the name the Catholic Anarchist gave me, Dan McLockinload, unintentionally humorous, since, as I’ve mentioned on this blog, I haven’t touched a firearm since I last fired my M-16 when I was in the army.

    He also gets my age wrong. He says that I was born in 1896, which is ridiculous. I was actually born in 1796, taught that whippersnapper Abe Lincoln how to prepare writs, saved the Union by not enlisting in the Union army, taught Theodore Roosevelt dirty fighting, slept through both of Wilson’s inaugural addresses, ended a brilliant political career when I challenged the wheel chair bound FDR to a footrace, served in World War II as fifth assistant briefcase holder to Douglas MacArthur, forgot to vote for Wendell Wilkie in 48, didn’t like Ike, thought that Nixon was more photogenic than Kennedy, got into a fist fight with Barry Goldwater over a parking space, ran the White House “Carpenters” under Nixon, voted for Billy Carter, instead of Jimmy, appointed Secretary of Historical Oddities under Reagan, got George Bush senior to wear a Ross Perot mask to a Skull and Bones reunion, lost a fortune in Whitewater, and then got into blogging. Let the Catholic Anarchist make what he will of all that!

  • I think Lady Macbeth is Lydia McGrew

  • It’s real humor is in knowing the source. Here we have a person who considers himself an anarchist and anti-fascist but who has never seen a fascist government policy he didn’t like. In one headline the “anarchist” takes a jab at someone because they oppose fascism and other forms of socialism in favor of limited government (apparently because it’s almost to the point of being anarchy!). I ask, is the article a parody or is the blogmaster a parody?

    The Optimal Size of Government is Zero, or Close to Zero Anyway

  • You didn’t like Ike? You’re making that up!

  • I think Don’s comment is better parody than anything over there…

    Of course, what the site really needs is a distributist with the handle Chester-Spode — but that would, you know, require knowledge of literature and be funny.

  • Was just browsing a little more. I think Dale is correct when he suggests it will run out of steam. Aside from not being really entertaining in spite of knowing the author’s heart is in it, he’s writing most the of the comments too. That’s really unsustainable and…well… it’s kind of like a kid riding a see-saw by himself. It’s just no fun unless you’re enjoying it with others.

    I have a little experience with parody blogs and they can be challenging because they are limiting by nature. They are for a purpose and have to have a particular form or else they would lose their character. I made it a point to answer reply to every comment on mine, but that was just part of the gag – and while fun that could be a little trying too. Having to craft comments to your own posts strikes me as a sure way to expedite the project’s demise.

  • The national plight is not funny, boys and girls.

    “Never Yet Melted” blog quotes Tony Blankley. Here in part:

    “A foul and dangerous brew is heating up that is composed of: (1) The economic collapse that started in 2008; (2) the radical, “fundamentally transforming” left-wing agenda of the government; and, (3) the thwarting of the public will—with glee—by the entrenched, non-elected powers (in the courts, media, colleges and government bureaucracies) as they get into the face and under the skin of the cultural and political majority.

    “It is insufferable (and will not long be suffered) to be lectured to and imposed upon by a ruling class that loathes our nation’s history, values and accomplishments; by those who are not, in fact, our genuine betters. They are neither better educated nor more profoundly morally versed.

    “In fact, they are our intellectual and moral inferiors—not superiors. Constantly grinning Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan didn’t think the Declaration of Independence’s proclamation that human beings ‘are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights’ should in any way affect her understanding of our constitutional rights—presumably, if any. [...]”

    These geniuses are running America into the dirt. Get out and vote.

    If we don’t turn this thing around, there will be little laughter, going forward.

  • From the blog:

    … I plan on writing a 10 part series explaining my views, each composed of 7 sub-parts. I know you will find these arguments fascinating and brilliant. Because they are quite brilliant, if I may say so myself. Prepare to be dazzled!

    Wait — isn’t this a parody of a certain somebody at Vox Nova? ;-)

  • American Catholic is a very good blog.

    True T. Shaw. These ‘enlightened’ Catholics gave us Elana ‘Partial Birth abortion’ Kagan. Swell.

  • I shouldn’t have given him the attention, but I couldn’t help commenting on his “Dan McLockinload” parody:

    “Er, it’s a given that “Dan McLockinload” is meant to be a parody of Donald McClarey. However, since McClarey has said he has not fired a gun since his Army days, personally dislikes them and does not own one, he’s hardly a “gun nut,” is he? Oh, but he defends the right of his neighbors to own one. Oh noes! Fascist, fascist, fascist!!”

    Well, my comment is in moderation and I’m sure he’ll reply to it by saying that Mr. McClarey earns the title of “McLockinload” by honoring such warmongers as military chaplains. Guilty, Donald, and your interest in American history also clearly proves you must be 150 years old, because the hip progressives agree with Henry Ford that “history is bunk.”

    The peerless Iowahawk (Dave Burge) can rest easy in his bed tonight – no competition worth mentioning has emerged from the Left.

  • I imagine Michael I. is getting increasingly dyspeptic as November approaches and this blog is a way to vent his frustration. The ingrate racist proles do not appreciate all that Obama and the wise and noble Dems are doing for them. Why, those fools!

  • I have a little experience with parody blogs and they can be challenging because they are limiting by nature. They are for a purpose and have to have a particular form or else they would lose their character. I made it a point to answer reply to every comment on mine, but that was just part of the gag – and while fun that could be a little trying too. Having to craft comments to your own posts strikes me as a sure way to expedite the project’s demise.

    Great point, RL. While I certainly can be sarcastic when I’m riled (I am sure that will come as as a tremendous shock to some of you :-), writing good, sharp parody day in and day out is really very, very difficult to do, which is why I hold Iowahawk in such high esteem – he hits the mark more often than not.

  • If he only knew about the history of my family in Mexico and how proud they are (and I am).

    He can’t seem to stomach the fact that I was born in the U.S. and am a very proud American and U.S. citizen.

    Now, now, Tito! The Senate Majority leader, Harry Reid (D-clueless) just can’t imagine why any Hispanic person would ever vote “R.”

    Er, nevermind that Reid Jr. is trailing a Hispanic person named Sandoval (R) in the polls. And that a certain Marco Rubio (pro-life- FL) has called Reid’s comments “ridiculous.” Reid, like Michael I., is certain that all brown-skinned persons with Spanish surnames must think alike.

    And we conservatives are supposed to be the people who deal in stereotypes. Right.

    Donald, OK, your comment (which I have just read) makes me think you could give Iowahawk a run for his money if you applied yourself :-)

    I don’t have the opportunity, time, or stamina to comment here much these days. (So when I do have the time, I go hog-wild, ergo, my multiple posts in this thread. Sorry. It’s built-up blog deprivation.) If I did, I would flatter myself that I was the “Lady Macbeth” referred to by Michael I. I would so love to be “Lady MacBeth” in the eyes of the Left. It suits me so. Just as “rampaging capitalist and neo-con warmonger” so fits Joe Hargrave ;-)

  • “Donald, OK, your comment (which I have just read) makes me think you could give Iowahawk a run for his money if you applied yourself”

    Thank you Donna! That comment made my day!

  • Lady Macbeth doesn’t really sound like me or Grace Potts, does she? Any guesses as to who she might be?

    I’ve mentioned this before, but years ago, I was acquainted with a guy who was the DRE in my parish. He told me once that he used to write political satire but gave it up because “it kills your soul eventually.”

    I think political satire is best taken in small doses, like salt, sugar or chili powder — it does add spice to political discourse but too much of it leads to severe indigestion.

  • Could “Parker Euton” be Thomas Peters (American Papist)?

  • Elaine you certainly wouldn’t be Lady Macbeth. Perhaps Portia in the Merchant of Venice.

  • Wow, Don, that’s quite a compliment, since according to Wikipedia, Portia is “beautiful, gracious, rich, intelligent, quick witted and with high standards in men.” Although I would have to dispute the “rich” part, nor would I ever consider disguising myself as a guy in order to attend law school :-)

    However, the Sad Little Man would probably focus more on Portia’s alleged anti-Semitism than anything else.

  • The calm rationality and charity that suffuse your comments and posts Elaine suggested the comparison. I quite agree with your comment about disguising yourself as a guy in order to attend law school. It is a big enough drag already without that. :)

  • “it is a big enough DRAG already without that” (rim shot)

    Now I’ll be hoping that my next post rates a Catholic Fascist parody.

  • I think WJ is right – Lydia McGrew (of “What’s Wrong With the World) is probably “Lady Macbeth.”

    The irony of this whole thing is that a self-proclaimed “anarchist” is lampooning me for wanting to… reduce the state and allow more space for people to freely cooperate with one another.

    It’s either brain damage or a conscious sort of Newspeak.

  • Oh wait. I forgot. I’m a fascist because I believe in the Constitution and enforcement of immigration law. That’s it.

  • Joe,

    There are many kinds of anarchism! Who says that anarchism has to mean less government? Who says it has to mean less control and regultion?

    A bunch of fascists, that’s who!!!

    :-P

  • In the future, everyone will be fascist for fifteen minutes.

  • Iafrate is really taking it to the next level. I’ve gotten two friend requests on facebook from the fictional contributors to Catholic Fascist.

  • Joe:

    Me too–Just got a friend request from “Richard Hedges.”

    Um…

  • I got one too! Oh why oh why does Dave Lister leave me out in the cold???!!!

  • Be patient, Jonathan. The List-man’s interested in social networking with me now, too.

  • A bunch of fascists, that’s who!!!

    Heh. Of course, in addition to his questionable use of the term ‘anarchy,’ Michael I. has demonstrated that he doesn’t really know what ‘fascist’ means either.

    I’ve gotten two friend requests on facebook from the fictional contributors to Catholic Fascist.

    Facebook friend requests? Now that’s just creepy. What a strange, strange man.

  • You know, the reason this is so amusing at the present moment is because michael truly doesn’t understand, from the perspective of political science and political philosophy, (at the risk of being a snob, my academic training) the meanings and histories of fascism and anarchy (although anarchy is flexible in meaning, because at root there is very little meaning, but it sure ain’t statism…there’s another thread somewhere on this site from last fall where that’s made abundently clear…and the site he linked to when pressed for a definition of anarchism was explicity anti-religious, and then michael disavowed it when pressed).

    He’s been corrected and called out so many times on this that we are clearly past the point of productivity that a good back and forth could bring. However, the reason it’s relevant is because of his (poor) attempts for satire. One must first have knowledge of their subjects and the meanings of words as a foundation for satire.

    He simply doesn’t.

  • I didn’t get any friend requests. :(

  • I had a request on my (real world name) Facebook account from “Richard Hedges”, but now it appears to be withdrawn.

    Curiouser and curiouser…

  • Here’s the Michael Iafrate way of covering up gross ignorance about fascism: claim that it is “contradictory.” That way things totally at odds with everything fascists ever said or did can be explained as really a part of fascism.

  • Perhaps in the spirit of Christianity one should be charitable and not assume it is MI.

    However whomever is doing this really is pathetic and believes in a christianity of his or her own making.

  • michael, please send me the second “invite” shortly, and then any more “fake profiles” as they are created. I’d prefer to “decline” at once, instead of twice or more on varying occasions. And its fine to ignore that gnawing little feeling you have inside that suggests this is a laughable waste of time, nothing more than empty status-posturing. No no no – you are “showing us”!

  • “Perhaps in the spirit of Christianity one should be charitable and not assume it is MI.”

    He’d like that, I suppose. But he’d have to be pretty sociopathic to deny it at this point.

  • Who is this anarchist that you keep talking about? Anarchy is Satan’s gem to the world! His rebellion came from his love for anarchy. We must fight the anarchists with godly warriors. Do you want to be for God or against him? Long live the warriors of God!

    [Ed: Michael I. (Dave Lister), As you recall, you have been banned from this site for one year. You are free, of course, to attempt satire on other sites, but we will continue to delete your comments here, even if you use a proxy server to hide your ip address.]

  • So far, Michael has responded to being banned in the following manner:

    1) He posted comments here under alternate names, using different computers.

    2) He started a satirical blog attempting to parody this site, as his comments were no longer permitted here.

    3) He created multiple identities for the authors of said blog.

    4) He set up Facebook accounts for these multiple authors, then tried to friend the authors of this site with the fake accounts.

    5) He created multiple commenter identities for his satirical blog, and commented as multiple people.

    6) Now he is using proxy servers to hide his ip address with the fake aliases he has created for his satirical blog in order to comment here.

    I’ll say one thing, he’s persistent.

  • Persistent is one word.

    Desperate and pathetic are a couple of others.

  • Does he not have a life? Who has time for such nonsense?

  • I think there is an intense hatred (and possibly an intense self-hatred of some sort) at the root of it. The seething disdain has been evident for some time, and commented upon by a pretty wide variety of people. I honestly hope he doesn’t self-destruct in some way, but in terms of small distractions from real life it really has been something else to get even a small glimpse of this sort of animosity and antagonism.

  • To sum it all up in one word, John Henry: OBSESSION. The dude’s obsessed with TAC. Sad.

  • Yes, he makes much out of my “anger”, but if I didn’t let it out from time to time, it my disfigure my soul. Of course I know nothing about his soul, but it is evident that a deep and abiding hatred is at work.

    Maybe its finally dawning on him that no one gives a damn about the colonization of Appalachia.

  • Isn’t it sad? These are the same people who whine whenever a conservative blogger says something unkind about the bishop’s conference.

    All of the talk about “charity” in the Catholic blogosphere is complete hogwash. The double standard would be amusing if it weren’t so transparently pathetic.

  • Nice to see Winters loves him some creepy. And, yes, I’ll be sure to take MSW’s future bleats for civility with a shaker of salt.

  • Well, on the day of my big triumph, after 6 years of blogging, I needed the dose of humility that the Lewis Crusade doesn’t even merit a link on the Catholic Fascist. :)

  • “The double standard would be amusing if it weren’t so transparently pathetic.”

    You are being a tad rough Joe. It isn’t as if the National Catholic Reporter was a Catholic newspaper after all. :)

  • “I am particularly fond of Donald’s history posts concerning Catholics in the military. I think his writings would make a very inspirational book for Catholic men, especially (but not only) those in the military.”

    Thank you Lisa!

  • Wait — isn’t this a parody of a certain somebody at Vox Nova?

    That’s the first thing that popped into my head, too. Say what you will about the “blog [the Sad Little Man] used to write for” — when it comes to sheer comic relief, or tragedy, it is hard to match, though neither ever seems to come about intentionally. Not so much with the blogger Christopher and I are thinking of – I imagine him to be someone who might one day be able to write very well about secular matters, if he would only step out of his grandmother’s basement a little more often. But as for a few of the others, their dystopian vision of an American wasteland teeming with “Calvinists” who stagger about like zombies or pod people, and torment the blessed elect and their enlightened health care policies and biracial children… it’s like a Cormac McCarthy novel.

  • It is fairly bizarre, if for nothing else than I got a friend request from Richard Hedges, but Michael I. always refused my requests. I really want to know whose picture he used for the profile pic.

  • Michael Denton-
    the image that is here now is from a Halloween costume site, I think. I vaguely remember the pose and outfit from when I was shopping around for jaegermonster accessories last year.

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