From the only reliable source of news on the net, the Onion. Over the years I have received similar explanations from clients who have got themselves into trouble while drunk. Somehow mysterious third parties routinely engage in illegal activities when innocent people are blotto.
Donald R. McClarey
Cradle Catholic. Active in the pro-life movement since 1973. Father of three and happily married for 35 years. Small town lawyer and amateur historian. Former president of the board of directors of the local crisis pregnancy center for a decade.