So you’re a single Catholic sitting at home with nothing to do on St. Valentine’s Day, what are your options? Well there are many things that you can do, especially if you want to resolve your current status as a non-married person. If you’re not called to religious life, you are most certainly called to married life with very few exceptions, yet you’re sitting on your couch still being single. In this column I’ll offer a basic and fundamental template for a single Catholic in pursuing your future spouse(1).
First and the most important point you need to remember is that God has a plan for you. Implementing His plan is the key to meeting your future spouse. What you need to do is to prepare yourself for your future spouse because your future spouse deserves a wonderful and beautiful person, which is the type of person you want to meet. Am I right?
What is that you say? Yes, you heard me correctly, you need to prepare yourself so you can be that wonderful and beautiful person for your future spouse. Assuming that you are going to love your future spouse, wouldn’t you do anything for him or her? Well then, you need to work on yourself so that this may occur.
A fine start is to pray. “By prayer we can discern ‘what is the will of God’ and obtain the endurance to do it” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2826). Prayer is the most powerful tool in your Catholic tool chest. Adoration, daily Mass, reading the lives of saints, and church choir (singing is praying twice) are excellent starts in pursuing this endeavor. Creating and keeping a prayer life keeps you in touch with God and eventually His plan becomes clearer and clearer each new day. In time you will figure out enough of His plan for you that you end up praying more in thanksgiving!
Your prayer life helps tune your soul to be a better instrument of God. It also helps in dealing with such character flaws such as your temper, poor social skills, and drinking problems (just to name some examples). If you follow this agenda you’re now better prepared to meet your spouse. In order to meet your spouse you will need to set up a social network geared towards your faith that will bring you one step closer to your future spouse.
There are many ways to set up a social network so I’ll show some good and basic examples. The first step is to join a prayer group, or a spiritual group, like a Bible study group, and/or a service organization, like the St. Vincent de Paul Society. You can find such groups in your church bulletin, online, as in a Google search(2), or through friends of yours. It can be intimidating and anxiety-filled, but I can tell you that it’s much easier than asking a complete stranger in a bar and significantly much healthier (and well-worth your while).
Again, these are just examples, but very good and healthy examples of setting up your social network(3). From these group interactions you will find even more groups that you can join for even more spiritual growth. This social network eventually will produce friendships and eventually your future spouse.
If you feel that you are doing all this and feel frustrated in the lack of progress towards meeting your spouse just remember patience is needed. What I am offering is a simple and basic template in pursuing your future spouse. I am single and in my late 30s yet I remain ever hopeful so I understand to a certain degree people’s concerns.
There are even more numerous avenues to meeting your future spouse in which I’ll post another column in the future. For those that want an idea of where to go from here I will suggest online dating such as Ave Maria Singles by Anthony Buono. Remember, it takes time and effort, so keep vigilant and pray. God has a plan for you and He certainly won’t disappoint.
(1) I’ve been thinking for quite awhile on writing a column or a series of column’s on the single life for Catholics based on my personal experience(s). I’ve put a lot of thought on this subject and can draw from my experience as a single Catholic. Reading a CNA article on finding a spouse on St. Valentine’s Day motivated me to write this short piece instead of putting this off for another day.
(2) In Google, type in “Bible Study” or “Prayer Group” followed by the city and state that you live in. This may or may not give you links to search for such groups, but this is a very good start.
(3) These spiritual groups will be the source of even more fun activities such as camping and hiking trips, dancing, and picnics just to name a few examples.